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While you're' at it, she said, would you change the newspaper in Carnie's cage?
正好你在弄，帮我把卡尼笼子里的报纸换了吧？她说。
As approached the cage, the bird let out a piercing cry, his black beak open. I held my hand up. Cut it, I said.
当我靠近笼子的时候，这只鸟就开始惨叫。我把手举起来对着他说：“闭嘴。”
Put your hand down, Mom said. You're scaring him.
把手放下，你吓着他了，妈妈说。
Carnie continued to scream. It was a pleading, horrifying sound. He cocked his head and danced across his bar, shrieking. Ike began to cry.
卡尼继续叫，发出乞求又可怕的声音。他翘着脑袋在笼子里来回乱跳，声嘶力竭地喊着。艾克终于被他弄哭了。
Never mind, Mom said. I'll do it.
算了，我来吧，妈妈说。
She thrust Ike in my arms and marched toward the cage. When she opened the door, Carnie scampered onto her finger, and she brought him to her shoulder. He was silent. Mom pulled the newsprint from the bottom of his cage with bare hands. Dried bird shit fell to the carpet; she didn't seem to notice.
她把艾克甩到我怀里，赶紧跑到笼子那。当她把笼子门打开的时候，卡尼立刻跳到了她手上，她顺势把他放到了肩膀上。这只鸟终于安静下来了。妈妈熟练地把笼子下面的报纸拿出来，鸟尿掉到了地毯上，可是她和没看见一样。
Let me help you, I said.
我帮你吧，我说。
Sit down. I can do this.
坐着吧，我自己来。
Sit down, Carnie said. Sit down. Sit down.
坐下，坐下，坐下，卡尼赶紧跟着说。
Mom ignored me and moved to the kitchen, stuffing the soiled papers into the trash can.
妈妈完全不理我，自己走到了厨房把脏纸扔进垃圾桶。
You should wash your hands, I said.
你应该洗洗手，我说。
Don't tell me what to do, she said.
不用你告诉我该干什么，她说。
Sit down, Carnie said. Sit down.
坐下，坐下，卡尼又叫。
I'm sorry, I said. I don't know about birds.
对不起，我不知道怎么弄，我说。
You'll learn, Mom said. Soon.
你以后就知道了，她说。
Ike and I arrive in Myrtle Beach at eight p.m. I know the zoo will be closed at this hour, so we find Day's inn. Theres' something about the hum of an ice machine that takes me back to childhood.
艾克和我晚上8点才到沙滩。这个时间动物园都关门了，我们找了一个旅馆住下。旅馆碎冰机嗡嗡的声音让我想到了小时候。
Ike face-plants onto the bed before I can remove the comforter.
还没等我把被拿走艾克就趴在了床上。
Wait a second, baby, I say. Let me get that dirty thing off.
等等，宝贝，我把这些脏东西拿下去。
We get in bed and flip channels.
我俩躺在床上换着电视频道。
I remember a hotel I stayed with my mother during her own mother's funeral, Downtown Norfolk, 1986. There was a rotating bucket of chicken on a sign pole below our window: I watched it spin. Even when the lights were off and my mother cried into her plllow, I watched that bucket of chicken rotate like the world itself.
我记得1986年姥姥葬礼的时候我们就住在旅店里。我们窗户下面的指示杆上有一筐旋转的小鸡。最后灯关了，妈妈倒在枕头上痛哭，我还在看着小鸡转。
At the time I thought that moms were not allowed to be sad, that surely women grew out of sadness by the time they had children.
那时候我感觉妈妈不应该伤心，因为当了母亲的人已经不会伤心了。
Mom, Ike says. I don't want to move.
妈妈，我不想搬走，艾克说。
His eyes flicker and he fades. The news is on. A lipstick-shellacked anchor tells of a new breed of aggressive python in southern Florida that strangled toddler in his sleep. Maybe one will come to our hotel, I think. And I will have to fight it off with my pocket knife, club it with the glass lamp on the bedside table, offer it my own body.
他疲倦地眨着眼睛。电视里在播新闻。一个涂了紫胶般口红的主持人说南佛罗里达一条新品种的极具攻击性的蟒蛇把一个刚刚会走路的小孩勒死了。当时孩子还在睡觉。我想要是这个屋子里面跑出一条蟒蛇怎么办？我一定要用包里面的刀和它对抗，用床头的灯泡打死它。让它伤害我，不能伤害我的儿子。
