Dream
Ba Jin

It is said that "a virtuous man seldom dream".Fortunately, I am but an ordinary man.

I dream my own dream, in which I often meet you.

Last night I again saw your kindly smiling face.

It was the same old home of ours. You talked to me cordially now inyour room, now in my room. You smiled and I also smiled.

It was the same old streets of Chengdu. I followed you step by stepon the smooth flagstones. Looking at you from behind, I inwardly consoledmyself with the thought that father was still hale and hearty. A sensation ofblissfulness warmed me up all over.

I was unaware that I was in a dream. I also forgot the hardships Ihad gone through during the past 25 years.

While I sat beside you inside a theater watching the fighting scenesof Peking opera, you explained its story to me in great detail.

I was again the small kid of 25 years before. I was joyful, Ismiles, I chattered away freely. I did not have the slightest inkling that youtogether with everything else would in a moment vanish out of sight.

When I opened my eyes, I found that I was all by myself and nothingwas heard except the pit-a-pat of rain drops.

No more smile, no more chitchat. Only the drip drip drip of rain.

Forcing my eyes to open wider and drawing aside the mosquito net, Ibegan to search for you in the pitch darkness.

A greyish light, nevertheless, edged in through two small windows toenable me to see the spacious room.

You and your smile were no more. Only loneliness and monotonyremained. The rain kept pitter-pattering.

I called to you, but no response. I listened attentively, but heardno footsteps. I quieted down, my heart beating hard. I could hear its thumping.

My heart had been tramping along all the time. Up to now, it hadbeen on its slow journey for 25 years.

Thereupon I kept my mouth shut. I knew you would never appearstanding before me. I had lost you 25 years before. Since then, I had grownfrom a fatherless child into a middle-aged man.

The rain continued to fall. The long night wore on amidst itsdripping sound. I was seized with acute loneliness. Well, was the roof leaking?Or was it my tears that had wetted my cheeks?

When I was young, I wished I could remain a kid forever under yourwing. Now I can fulfil this wish only in my dreams.

There in a dream, I can at least come face to face with you. I canbe happy, I can smile naive smiles, I can chatter away freely.

For all this, I should be thankful to my dreams.