In the Wake of Autumn
秋来之后
——History is but the record of one accident after another; poetry is an act of love to compensate for this lack.
——历史只是一次又一次意外的记载,诗,是为此而补赎的爱。
Hsi Muren
席慕容
When moonlight once again paves the mountain trail from where you come
当月光再次铺满你来时的山径
I hope you can believe that
希望你能够相信
I have already recovered from the will to escape
我已痊愈 自逃亡的意念
From the edge of hiding myself under a pseudonym and other similar desires
自改装易容隐姓埋名以及种种渴望的边缘
From a heart of panic from a fate of begging
自慌乱的心 自乞怜的命运
From a plot that remains incoherent after a hundred alterations.
自百般更动也难以为继的剧情
From a hurt that is both absolutely tender and absolutely sharp
自这世间绝对温柔也绝对锋利的伤害
When speaking of the wake of autumn
若说秋来
no one can know better than I.
没有人能比我更加明白
There are always a few spare woods to shed their leaves.
总有些疏林会将叶落尽
Always some dreams to be buried always some individuals
总有些梦想要从此埋没 总有些生命
Insisting on varying the colors and textures under the shadow of darkness.
坚持要独自在暗影里变化着色彩与肌理
And now observe strictly the distance between hoping and imaging.
我会记得你的警告 从此严守那观望与想象的距离
Never again will I involve the depth of events
永不再进入 事件的深处
Not to drench in the river of sorrows
不沾忧愁的河水
nor to pick fruits of regrets
不摘悔恨的果实
When moonlight once again paves the mountain trail from where you depart.
当月光再次铺满你离去时的山径 不知道你愿不愿意相信
I don't know if you are willing to believe
不知道你愿不愿意相信
Yet I have truly recovered having learned
但是我确实已经痊愈 已经学会
Not to argue for Truth, just letting it fade away like the falling of leaves
不再替真相辩解任由它湮灭一如落叶
And endlessly edit out those excess worries
并且不断删节 那些多余的心事
(Those excesses are but the withered twigs serving only to prick one's skins).
(多余的徒然在前路上刺人肌肤的枯枝)
On the days in the wake of autumn I
在秋来之后的岁月里 我
Can almost be mistaken for
几乎可以 被错认是
A hopelessly optimistic woman.
一个无可救药的乐观女子
1987年11月8日