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Morning~AmyLee要认真规划好备考的每一天，你呢！非常感谢大家的陪伴，我们YY可可备考小组的成员越来越多了，不许偷懒，托福优秀范文一天写一篇学一篇哦，写好了可以发送至我邮箱keke3096@qq.com进行互批，共同进步!^^
我已经托福三战过了，对考试各方面都很熟悉，所以大家到考前了有什么疑惑也可以发邮件给我，我会尽力为大家解答。
每天的写作任务是这样的，写好每天的作文发至我的邮箱（如果你想加入作文批改小组请注明），我们将进入互批作文模式。
在此我对每天的topic进行解析和范文精讲，请大家写完作文之后不忘进行比较，找出自己的不足之处。开始吧！
23. In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
参考分析： 注意审题。是teenager而不是college students。Teenagers have jobs，这显然是一个BAD idea。Teenager，意指十几岁的孩子——16岁或者18岁以下(18岁以上就是adult了，16、7的孩子往往被称之为young adults。参见：[61])。雇用童工(Employing children labor)目前在很多国家是非法(illegal)的。也违反国际儿童保护条约(International Children Act )。允许雇用童工，或存在童工现象，都是一个国家落后愚昧的表现。
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23、学习期间打工是一个好主意 |
Topic 23 Should teenagers work?
In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. After thinking about it from several aspects, I do not believe it is a good idea. The reasons are presented below.
Part-time jobs may affect students' academic studies. Working several hours a day consumes（=spend）a lot of time and one might be too exhausted to study. The main purpose of school life for teenagers is to learn scientific knowledge and techniques in preparation for their future. It is generally suggested that in order to master what they have learned at school, students must spend at least 3 hours each day on their homework. It would be impossible for a student to work part-time while maintaining a high standard of academic learning. As a result, they may find it hard to adjust to what the school and society expects from them as well as what their employers expect them to perform on the job.
Another reason why I do not approve（赞成）teenagers to work part-time is that working while studying will deprive（剥夺）their time of sleep and will do harm to their health. Teenagers are in the process of（in the process of意为在…时期）building up their body. They need time to do exercises and engage（吸引，参加）in other activities, and they also need plenty of rest. If they work, they may sacrifice their time for sleep, club activities, exercise, and recreation（娱乐；消遣）.Sometimes, teenagers have jobs that consume more strength than they can afford. This will be definitely harmful to their health.
Finally, working part-time and making extra money may contribute to their bad habits. Teenagers are not mature enough to spend money wisely. However with part-time jobs they make money that allow them to spend whatever way they like, such as playing electronic games, smoking, drinking, and even gambling.
Based on the above discussion, I do not think it is a good idea for teenagers to work while they are still students. Compared with their whole lifetime, school life is a short period. Teenagers should value their school life and make full use of the time. Only by working hard during school life can they find their proper jobs（合适的工作）in their future life.
好了，今天就说这么多，大家一定要坚持练习作文，每天进步一小点，一个月下来托福写作绝对是质的提升！希望大家跟着我每天一篇练下去，写作都是硬功夫，跟小时候每周都要写语文作文是一样的，功夫到家自然成，加油！
最后再mention一下互评作文的事情，这个作文互评目前只有我在做，我希望尽可能给有需要的可可粉们提供帮助，如果你们中有愿意跟我一起批改大家作文的，一定要mail我加入哦！（互批可以进步非常快，做过才知道！）
可可托福备考小组官方邮箱：Keke3096@qq.com
申请互批小组成员的邮件title：an application for writing members XXX（你的可可用户名）
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