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Funny Excuses Notes
可笑的假条
If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check out some of the writing miscreated by their moms and dads. The following are some funny excuses notes received by teachers, spelling mistakes included. In these samples, names were replaced with either John or Mary.
如果你认为现在的学生没有学好他们该学的，就请你看看他们的爸爸妈妈们写的东西吧。下面是一些家长写给老师的搞笑的假条，里面的拼写错误也原封不动地保留下来。我们只是把其中的名字换成了约翰或玛丽。
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
医生在看护我的儿子，他不能上今天的体育课了。请处决他吧。
Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
请原谅玛丽不能来上课，她生病了，我找人把她打死了。
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
亲爱的校方：约翰1月28、29、30、31、32和33号都不能来上课，请原谅。
Please excuse John from P.E. for a few days. He fell yesterday out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
约翰有几天不能上体育课，请原谅。他昨天从树上掉下来，把屁股摔歪了。
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
约翰没来上课是因为从他的脸上拔掉了两颗牙。
John was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
约翰昨天没来上课是因为他在踢足球，他伤到了生长的部分【应为growing pains（医）发育期痛】
John will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
约翰不能来上学因为他侧面疼。
Please excuse John Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
请原谅约翰星期五没来上学，因为他的元音太松驰了。【应为have loose bowels腹泻】
Please excuse John for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
请原谅约翰昨天没来上学，他泻肚，他的靴子也漏了。
John was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
约翰昨天没来上课是因为他没被打着。
Please excuse John for being. It was his father's fault.
请原谅约翰……，这都是他爸爸的错。
I kept Mary home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I didn't know what size she wear.
我没让玛丽去上学是因为我得带她去圣诞采购，因为我不知道她穿多大的衣服。
Please excuse Mary for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
请原谅玛丽昨天没来上学。我们忘了把星期天那页从走廊上撕下来了。当我们发觉是星期一时，我们还以为是星期天。
Mary won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
从星期五开始的一个星期玛丽都不能来上课，我们要去参加她的葬礼。
Please excuse Mary from Jim today. She is administrating.
请为吉姆原谅玛丽，她正在处理事务。
Mary was absent December 11--16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the berst either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going around school, her father got hot last night.
12月11到16号玛丽没来是因为她发烧了、嗓子疼、头疼，而且肠胃不舒服。她的妹妹也病了，发烧、嗓子疼。她弟弟也发低烧，浑身疼。我也没能幸免，嗓子疼还发烧。学校里一定是有流感，甚至于昨晚她爸爸也发烧了。
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
昨天我女儿没来上学是因为她太累了，她和海军陆战队一块儿过的周末。
Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not find him till I started making the beds.
请原谅我儿子的拖拖拉拉。我忘了叫他起床了，而且直到铺床的时候我才找到他。
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.
玛丽不能来上学是因为她的血管太近了。
