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191.The anal-retentive retailer
191.肛门便秘型人格的零售商
There was a retailer who specialized in selling reversible clothing. Being anal-retentive, his personality was somewhat restrictive, which tended to retard his sales. Every time a customer approached him about his reversible clothing, he would become nervous, his anus would tighten, and he would retreat from the sales room immediately. Things being as they were, the retailer decided to retire from the retail business, choosing only to retain a few items of clothing for himself.
有一个零售商专卖两面穿的衣服。但是由于他是肛门便秘型，所以在性格方面他或多或少受到了一点限制，而且这也在某种程度上妨碍了他的销售。每当有顾客过来询问那些两面穿的衣服时，他就会感到非常紧张，肛门绷紧，马上要从销售室里撤出。既然如此，零售商决定从他的零售生意中引退，只为他自己留了几件衣服。
On the night that he made the decision for his retirement as he was sleeping, the heavens opened up to reveal God sitting in his heavenly glory. God spoke in a mighty voice saying, "Reversible Clothing Retailer!" God's voice reverberated through the heavens. The retailer dropped to the floor covered in golden heavenly light, kneeling reverently. "I command you to revise your attitude and reverse your decision about retirement. You shall continue to sell reversible clothing." The retailer replied, "But Your Holiness, I am anal-retentive and I retreat from the sales room when customers approach." "Do you revere me?" retorted God. "Make a revision in your opinion and retract your statement!" The retailer said, "Your Holiness, I know you are all powerful. I beg you to retool my personality and enable me to fulfill your commands." God replied, "In retrospect, you have been a good man. Your only fault is that you are anal-retentive. As a sign of my retrospective decision, I shall send you a golden retriever. Every time you see him, you will have confidence."
在决定退休的那一天夜里，他做了个梦，梦里天空打开后出现了这样的情景：上帝伴随着圣洁的光辉端坐在那里。上帝用威严的声音说道："专营可正反两面使用的衣服的零售商！"他的声音在天堂里不断回响着，零售商极端虔诚地跪倒在金光闪闪的地板上，"我命令你改正你的态度，并撤消你的退休决定。你应该继续卖那些可正反两面穿的衣服。"零售商回答道："但是神圣的主啊，我有肛门便秘型性格，当顾客来的时候我总是要逃出销售间。""你尊敬我吗？"上帝反驳道，"修正你的观点，收回你的言论！"零售商说道："圣主啊，我知道您法力无边，我请求您重组我的性格，以便我能执行您的命令。"上帝回答道："回顾过去，我发现你一直以来就是一个好人。你唯一的过错就是你是一个肛门便秘型性格的人。为了表示我的回顾性决策，我将送你一条金色的拾物犬，一看到它你就信心百倍。"
The next morning, the retailer wasn't sure whether his revelation was real or just a dream. Nevertheless, when he opened his front door, he saw a golden retriever sitting there with the morning paper in his mouth. The retriever followed him everywhere and gave him confidence. The retailer was no longer anal-retentive, and his reversible clothing sold very well. In addition, the retriever retrieved the paper for him every morning.
第二天早上醒来的时候，零售商无法肯定他的启示究竟是现实还是梦境。然而，打开大门的时候，他真的看见了一条金色的拾物犬坐在门口，嘴里叼着一张晨报。后来不管去哪，这只狗都跟在零售商后面，它也确实给了他信心。现在零售商再也不是一个肛门便秘型性格的人了，他的那些两面穿的服装卖得很好。此外，那条拾物犬每天早上都帮他取报纸。
