可可电台，每期节目一话题，让英语磨练耳朵的同时学到更多有益的小知识，丰富知识的同时受益于生活。

别毒害自己的爱情

You apologize too much.

你老是道歉

Enablers hate conflict, which is why they often find themselves over-apologizing, said Amanda Deverich, a marriage and family therapist in Williamsburg, Virginia.“They’ll do anything to maintain that connection and that includes soothing the other person by apologizing, even for stuff that is not their fault,”she said.

弗吉尼亚州威廉斯堡的婚姻家庭问题治疗专家，在关系中委曲求全的一方总是道歉，他们竭尽所能维持一段关系，甚至不是他们的错，也会给对方道歉。

To break this bad habit, enablers should get comfortable with a little discord in relationships.

要改变这个习惯，要试着学会适应，哪怕双方关系中有点小变扭。

Not every argument needs to be resolved that very moment, Deverich said.“When you can’t let a problem remain unresolved, it leads to concessions you wouldn’t otherwise make,”she said.“A more productive step would be to channel all that energy into self-care and boundary setting.”

如果你一定要在第一时间解决，那你除了妥协别无他法。有效的方法是，把精力投入到自己的身上，同时要划清界限。

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