Elton John once sang that sorry seemed to be hardest word but now scientists have found that the perfect apology requires more than just the word 'sorry' itself.
英国著名音乐家埃尔顿·约翰曾唱到,对不起是最难说出的话。不过现在,科学家研究出最完美的道歉方式,而且远不止“对不起”这么简单。
Based on the findings of a new study, researchers said there are six key elements to make one's apology more sincere and easy to accept with two being very critical in ensuring acceptance. They are accepting one's own fault and offering to repair the damage when making an apology, according to Ohio State University researchers.
俄亥俄州立大学一项新的研究成果提出了道歉的六大关键因素,让道歉更真诚,更能被对方接受。其中最关键的两点,就是承认错误,并主动提出弥补伤害。
The study looked at how 755 volunteers reacted to apologies that contained some or all of the six key elements in two separate parts.
该研究将755名志愿者分成两组,分别观察他们面对全部或部分包含六大关键因素的道歉时做出的反应。
The first part involved 333 adults acting out a fictional scenario where they were an accounting department manager interviewing a potential employee. The applicant had filed an incorrect tax return during their previous work but when asked during the fake interview about it, they apologised. The adults involved in the study then had to rate different apologies which contained one, three or all of the sorry elements listed above. The scale was between one (not at all) and five (very).
第一组的333名成年人扮演正在面试求职者的会计部门经理。面试过程中,求职者将为自己曾在工作中填错了报税单而道歉。求职者的道歉中将包含上述的一种、三种或全部道歉的关键因素。这时,“部门经理”们就要为求职者的道歉打分,1表示不满意,5表示很满意,从1分到5分,程度递增。
In the second part of the research, 422 undergraduates had the same scenario but this time they did not know what elements were within the apologies and had to rate it in a similar fashion.
面对同样的场景,第二组的422名大学生也要给这些道歉打分,不同的是他们并不知道这六大因素的存在。
The results were not exactly the same, but very similar, researchers said, and those apologies that contained more of the elements were rated higher than others.
两组的结果没有完全一致,但非常接近,都表明道歉中包含的关键因素越多,分数就越高。
"Apologies really do work, but you should make sure you hit as many of the six key components as possible," said Roy Lewicki, from the university's Fisher College of Business.
俄亥俄州立大学费舍尔商学院的罗伊·路维其教授是这项研究的发起者,他表示“道歉虽然管用,但要尽可能多的包含这六大因素。”
"Our findings showed that the most important component is an acknowledgement of responsibility," Mr Lewicki, who led the study, said. "Say it is your fault, that you made a mistake."
“研究结果显示,人们最看重的是承担责任。如果原因在你,那就主动承认错误。”
He added that an offer of repair was crucial because "one concern about apologies is that talk is cheap". But by offering to fix the damage, "you're committing to take action to undo the damage", he said.
另外,主动提出弥补伤害也是十分关键的因素。路维其教授认为,人们总觉得口头认错并不走心,而提出解决方案,降低错误造成的损失,这才是将道歉付诸行动的做法。