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Jason: Alright, well, that's our session for today. I'll be remodeling this office, so next week
we'll be at another address, OK?
Patient: A real office, huh?
Jason: This is a real office Mr. Lapepki, I do real work here.
Jason: Now, I'm not saying we have to have beamed ceilings, but let's not be afraid of spruce
Frank: You know what, why don't we just go take a look at your office?
Jason: Yes.
Mike: Carol, do I detect a sudden interest in contracting?
Carol: Just because I look at a good-looking guy with a nice chest of power tools, doesn't
mean I'm ready to have his child!
Paul: Jason Seaver!!
Jason: Paul.
Paul: You son of a gun! How long's it been?
Jason: About a week. You had dinner at my place, remember?
Paul: Oh! Then why am I hugging you?
Jason: I don't know. You always do that when you see me; you're starting to get on my
nerves.
Paul: Have you seen your office?
Jason: No.
Paul: Oh, let me show you.
Jason: I really have to thank you and Phil for letting me use this office.
Paul: Hey jees, hey please, don't mention Phil, huh. He's off at a Zurich conference, and I'm
stuck here with a double patient load.
Jason: Oh, well, at least you're not bitter about it.
Maggie: He has got to be kidding. Thelma have you seen this assignment sheet?
Thelma: No.
Maggie: Thelma, you typed it.
Thelma: Well yeah, but I didn't read it. That way I don't get involved.
Maggie: I'm supposed to do a feature entitled, "Winterizing your Dog." So rather than writing
an insightful, respectable, journalistic piece for Esquire Magazine, I'll be showing people how
to put snow tyres on their Shiatsus.
Thelma: Nice alliteration.
Maggie: So this is the day, I take my stand.
Maggie’s Boss: I have failed to make use of your journalistic talent! I accept full responsibility!
As of today, I'm out of here.
Maggie: Oh, well I didn't mean you have to quit.
Maggie’s Boss: I didn't quit, I'm fired.
Maggie: You're kidding.
Maggie’s Boss: Station manager's unhappy with our image, so he hired a media consultant, he
consulted, I'm gone.
Maggie: But that is so unfair! Oh, what if we're all gone?
Maggie: You certainly seem to have had a good day!
Jason: Good, doesn't begin to describe it, Maggie; I had a great day! I had the most fabulous
office, the people down there are terrific, and two doctors...count 'em...two doctors consulted
me on their cases. I have never been so excited. How was your day?
Maggie: My boss was fired, and I may be next.
Paul: How would you like to take over for Phil here?
Jason: Well, it's a very unexpected offer! A very attractive offer! Maybe we could do something
finally about that free clinic idea, we talked about at lunch.
Paul: Absolutely!
Jason: This is exactly the kind of work situation I have always dreamed of.
Paul: Oh, Jason, fantastic!!
Jason: I can't do it.
Paul: Jason, I promise I won't hug you again.
Jason: No, I have a deal with Maggie; we have always believed that one of us should be there
with the kids at all times. It's her time for career opportunities, not mine.
Jason: I feel that if Maggie's happy at her job, and by the way, I'm not sure that Maggie is all
that happy at her job! In fact it may not even be her job anymore if they decide who they're
going to fire! Ho ho, wouldn't that be something if Maggie got canned! No! No!
Jason: Oh hi honey.
Maggie: Hi honey, how was your day?
Jason: Well, to tell you since you asked, there was something kind of wanted to talk to...
Maggie: Mine was, absolutely with out a doubt, the most fabulous day of my entire life! Not
only did they not fire me, you are looking at the core of channel nine's new news team! From
now on we're a hard news network, and I am their number one hard news reporter! They
don't want to fire me, they want to sign me to a seven year contract!!
Frank: No it's true...
Carol: (In her head) God, look at those eyes! He's gonna take a breath, I've got to say
something: I suspected that.
Frank: You'd be surprised how many women find my shop talk...boring.
Carol: The fools. (In her head) Your talk is boring, but your shop looks great.
Ben: Stinky, Party after school, my place; lasers, ladies, no parents. Of course you're invited,
that's why I called you.
Mike: Benny, Benny, Benny, let me give you some pointers on your little wing-ding here,
alright?
Ben: I'm all ears.
Mike: Alright, now if...if you are gonna have this party, and if this is gonna be full of frisky little
horn bowls...and if! You do not want Mom and Dad finding out about this thing...
Ben: Mike, stop saying, if! I'm having the stinking party!
Mike: Come on Benny, give me some diability here.
Mike and Ben: Morning Dad!
Jason: Only coffee! Come on, whose turn to make breakfast?
Mike: Ah...Carol's.
Jason: Fine, fine, I'll whip something up myself. Comes with the territory when you're the
parent who works at home.
Maggie: Good morning.
Jason: Morning.
Maggie: See you guys later.
Mike: See you, Mom.
Jason: Not having breakfast!
Maggie: Oh honey, I can't stay. Dick and Steve said they wanted to talk to me first thing about
some of the changes they have in store for their new star reporter. Ooh, that's what they
called me. Oh honey, I still can't believe all this is happening.
Jason: Neither can I.
Carol: Frank...
Frank: Yeah.
Carol: May I touch your drill?
Jason: Carol!
Carol: Dad, can't you knock?
Jason: I just want you to know, that it did not go unnoticed that it was your turn to make
breakfast, OK?
Carol: But it was Mike's turn, remember?
Jason: Oh, as long as I'm here Carol, let me remind you that the reason that Frank is here this
week, and the only reason, is to remodel my office, OK? This is a job that is very important to
me and a job that I care about very much.
Frank: Doctor Seaver, isn't it coming along?
Jason: Who cares?
Maggie: Morning.
Worker: Morning.
Maggie: Morning. Morning! Morning. Morning.
Thelma: Are you finished, Maggie?
Maggie: I just don't want people to change, now that I'm the centre piece of the news.
Thelma: Well they said to send you in as soon as you got here.
Maggie: Wish me luck. Oh, don't bother, I don't need anymore luck.
Maggie: (On TV. One of her old new pieces) Who says puppy love can't end up in marriage.
Sometimes love is lovelier with four feet on the ground.
Priest: (TV) Do you take poop eater Kennedy as your lawful wedded Shiatsu?
Maggie: (TV) From the Woof Woof wedding chapel on Long Island, this is Maggie Malone for
Channel Nineteen News.
(Her bosses are laughing at the show)
Maggie: I'll just clean out my desk and be gone.
Dick: Maggie, Maggie, sit down.
Steve: This is the past, right Dick?
Dick: My research says, News Nineteen's approach has alienated its viewers.
Steve: Yeah. Which is why, Dick has come up with a campaign to let everybody know, we're a
hard-news operation now.
Dick: Bill boards all over New York City.
Maggie: Wow.
Steve: No more dog weddings, Maggie. Hard news, right Dick?
Dick: Hard as a body builders butt.
Steve: Yeah, well we'll be shooting the first promo spot for the new campaign tomorrow, your
house.
Maggie: My house! Wouldn't it be better to do it..
Dick: Maggie, did you see that spot with Dan Rather walking down the beach musing about
journalism?
Maggie: No I didn't...
Dick: Well you're getting the director who shot that!
Maggie: Really?
Steve: Maggie, you can put this in the bank. Channel Nineteen is going to be spending its
resources on solid, hard news. No more mini cam crews, and investigative stories, no more
flashy sets and hairdressers.
Dick: Sound good?
Maggie: Oh boy, it sure does. Oh, but I would still get to have a...hair person, right?
Jason: ...in direct, the core of Mr. Mitchell's problem is his inability to tell his wife, how he
really feels. Ha, must be contagious!
Jason and Kevin: Strike that last word!
Kevin: I'll have these notes, typed and on your desk before lunch.
Jason: OK Kev, good. Thanks.
Kevin: Your next patient isn't due until eleven...Mrs. Proll.
Jason: Oh, yes, well...err...could you...
