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Here you go Earl.
给 厄尔
Table 12 throwing down a credit card on a patty melt.
十二桌的客人就点了个肉饼还要刷卡
They really need those eight airline miles?
他们是有多需要这八英里呀
Where they going... New Jersey?
难不成是想飞去新泽西吗
Credit cards are the downfall of America.
信用卡是美国没落的原因
Well, credit cards and Kim Kardashian.
应该说信用卡与金·卡戴珊
I like her big ass as much as the next man,
我跟普通男人一样，都喜欢她的大屁股
but don't go give the damn butt a franchise.
但把屁股拿出来卖就不对了
Max I can take a lot.
麦克斯 我自认承受力强
Please keep your sex life to yourself.
你的性能力自己知道就好
I handled it when I lost my fortune
我身败名裂的时候 我挺住了
and I handled it when I lost my fortune.
我身败名裂的时候 我真的挺住了
You said that twice.
你说了两遍
Because I think it bears repeating.
因为我觉得这值得再三强调
But this is too much.
但是这个 我实在挺不住了
That couple that just left...a $50 check
刚走的那对情侣消费了五十块
a $1.47 tip.
却只留下一块四毛七的小费
47 cents?
四毛七呀
Uh I wasn't even aware they were still making pennies.
原来还有在铸造这么小面额的硬币啊
I smiled and bent over backwards giving them service...
我笑脸迎人 卑躬屈膝 难道我的服务
all for $1.47?
就值一块四毛七吗
This makes me the lowest paid hooker in New York.
我就这么成了纽约最廉价的妓女
All right give me that check. I'll handle this.
好啦 把账单给我 我来搞定
Was something wrong with the service my girl over here gave you?
我同事的服务有什么不周到的地方吗
No. Tipping's an option.
没 给你多少小费是我的自由
So is me spitting in your food.
在你食物里吐口水也是我的自由
You might want to remember that the next time
下次用硬币打发服务员时
you leave a waitress pennies.
麻烦记住这点
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
抱歉 我并不知情
This was our first and last date.
这是我们初次 也会是最后一次约会
Sorry dude.
抱歉 伙计
Looks like this little tip
这个故事告诉你
just lost you the chance to give her your little tip.
舍不得银子上不着妞呀
