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Good morning.
早安
I'm trying to send out a get-to-know-us email blast for the cupcake business.
我想把介绍我们蛋糕店的广告邮件群发出去
But your wi-fi is so slow.
但是你的无线网慢得要死
Don't tell me-- tell Cathyhome17, whoever and wherever she is.
跟我说没用，跟"凯丝家十七号"抱怨去，反正我不认识她
Okay, well, I'm just going to run down to the coffee place and send it.
好吧，反正我要去楼下用咖啡店的网发了
Do you approve?
你觉得呢
Nice job. The font's pretty.
干得不错，字体挺漂亮
You just gave me a compliment?
你刚是在夸奖我吗
I knew it-- you're depressed.
我就知道，你心里难受
You're so depressed about you and Johnny just being friends,
只能跟强尼做朋友，让你心里难受到
you don't even have the energy to be you.
连做自己的精力都没有了
What? The font is pretty.
瞎说什么，字体的确漂亮呀
Oh, honey, do you want a hug?
天啊，亲爱的，想来个爱的抱抱吗
I'm fine. How could you be fine?
我没事。你怎么可能没事
The man was so into you, he painted a billboard of the two of you kissing.
这个男人曾经这么喜欢你，他在广告看板上画了你俩的接吻图
And now he just wants to be friends?
而现在他却只想跟你做朋友
Please call in sick to your babysitting job and take to the bed.
别去当保姆了，打个电话请病假，然后上床睡觉吧
Whenever I used to get depressed, I'd take to the bed.
以前每当我不开心，我就去床上赖着
One time, I took to the bed for a week.
有一次，我在床上赖了整整一周
Listen, unlike you, Jane Austen, I will never take to the bed.
听着，我不像你，简·奥斯汀，我绝对不会卧床不起
Giving in to feelings is for rich people.
有钱人才有空玩失恋
Regular people just have to get up, get drunk, and go fulfill their babysitting duties.
普通人只能起床，灌醉自己，然后去尽他们保姆的本分
Max, take to the bed.
麦克斯，去床上睡觉吧
Look, this is my pattern, okay?
这就是我的套路可以了吧
I fall for the wrong guy,
我爱上不该爱的人
I find out they're with a girl, a bottle, or a needle, and I move on.
发现他们跟女人，酒精，毒品纠缠不清，我唯有抽离
And sometimes I use a bottle to help me do it...or a needle or a girl.
所以有时我也借助酒精帮忙，或者是毒品，或女人
But when I'm done, I'm done.
但我一旦看开，就真的放下了
That's it?
就这样
You're just over it?
你就能放下了吗
I'm still sad because Kyle Enright
我至今还放不下凯尔·恩莱特
didn't invite me on his private jet to Mykonos for his 12th birthday.
没有邀请我乘坐他的私人飞机去米科诺斯岛过他十二岁生日这件事
Well, not me.
我不一样
Just flip a switch and those feelings are gone.
只要按个开关，那些感觉就消失殆尽
I only have two switches in my life--
我人生只有两个开关
one turns off my emotions,
一个关掉我的情绪
the other makes a car bounce.
另一个能让"车震"动
Okay, I better go.
好吧，我该走了
If you get there after 10:30, you can't hear yourself think
十点半过后去，会被吵的事都做不了
over the sounds of people skyping to the Philippines.
会有一堆跟自己菲律宾老乡玩语聊的人
Max, are you sure you're all right?
麦克斯，你确定你没事吗
Max.
麦克斯
Are you about to come over here and soft-touch me?
你是想过来轻抚，爱抚我吗
I want to so bad. Leave!
我超级想。快滚蛋
Go to the coffee place. Soft-touch the barista.
去咖啡店，轻抚做咖啡的去
Excuse me, Miss.
打扰一下，小姐
You keep your door open like that, this rat's probably going to get inside.
你这样门户大开，这只老鼠很可能会趁机溜进去哦
Don't worry. You should see the size of my cat.
你放心，我家的猫更大只
What are you doing here?
你来这儿干嘛
I knew you'd be home for another hour, so I brought you coffee.
我知道你还有一个小时才出门，所以我给你买了杯咖啡
And I wanted to say...
我想说
Thanks for understanding the situation.
感谢你能理解我们的状况
Hey, you don't need to get all
你不必搞什么
"Hallmark presents: Johnny Soft Eyes" on me.
"贺曼出品，强尼牌温柔眼神"
Okay? You're not my type, anyway.
行吗，况且你又不是我的菜
You're a bartender who's close to liquor all night and your not an alcoholic.
你只是个整晚守着酒的酒保而已，而且你还不嗜酒
So clearly you don't know how to seize an opportunity.
显然你不是懂得把握机会的人
Yes, I do.
其实我懂
