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Max, I was just in the ladies' room, and I had a thought.
麦克斯，我刚去厕所时，突然冒出个想法
Why am I doing my lipstick in a mirror that says "Die Carlos"
为什么要在写着"卡洛斯去死"的镜子前画口红吗
I know how to get the full value of the ring.
我想到怎么拿回戒指全价的方法了
We just have to take it to the store where they sell it, and return it.
我们只需要拿回去原店，退款就行了
Uh, and why didn't that occur to you before?
你怎么没一开始就想到呢
'Cause I don't have the receipt.
因为我没留收据
And I bought it three years ago...from another store... in another country.
而且我是三年前买的，在别的国家...别家店
The customer asked for crust off of a turkey club.
顾客说火鸡总会三明治要去边
Did they say that or is this something you say that they said?
是顾客说的，还是你说是顾客说的
They said it.
是顾客说的
But I say I see "screw the boss" sleeveless tee.
但要我说的话，有人还穿着"老板去死"的无袖衫呢
I'm sorry, someone call Ripley's.
来人啊，快打电话给奇人异事博物馆
There is a small mouse speaking.
这有只会说话的小老鼠
And I bet for sure it comes with stinky armpits.
馆里还有腋下超臭男呢
Why don't you see for yourself, Ratatouille?
想闻"香"一下吗，料理鼠王
I've gotta go. Fight's starting.
我先闪了，要开打了
You are stinky.
你臭爆了
So stinky my mother in Korea called me and said, "What is that smell?"
臭到我远在韩国的老妈都打给我问"那是什么臭味儿啊"
I am surprised you're upset by man smell.
你居然不喜欢男人味
Most women like you enjoy it.
大多数像你这样的娘们都爱死了
Yo, Max, I got 20 bucks on Han. He's scrappy.
麦克斯，我下20块赌憨赢。他，爱吵又好斗
Your English is terrible.
你的英语烂爆了
My English is less terrible than your terrible English.
我的英语再烂也比你的烂英语强
What? I couldn't understand a word you said.
啥，我听不懂你说啥呢
What? So sorry I couldn't understand a word you said.
啥，真抱歉我也听不懂你说啥
Excuse me, regular-sized people.
抱歉，正常大小的人们
I am on break until he apologizes.
除非他道歉，否则老子坚决不开工
I think the round's over. I couldn't understand a word they said.
本回合结束。我听不懂他俩说的"英语"
He needs to apologize. I'm the boss.
该道歉的人是他，我可是老板
Don't let him get to you, Han.
你别把他的话放在心上，憨
Every woman knows size doesn't matter.
女人都知道，不在"大小"，只在技巧
I like your shirt.
我喜欢你这衣服
Reminds me of the side of the van I lost my virginity in.
我失去童贞的那台货车上有这喷漆
That little man disrespect me.
那"小"人侮辱我
He insult my food, my English, my "hyjane."
他侮辱我的食物，我的英语，我的卫"牲"
Is there anything I can do to cheer you up?
我能做什么让你开心起来吗
A hug would help.
给我个拥抱吧
If I hug you, will you go back to work?
如果我抱你，你会乖乖开工吗
Yes.
会
Two-second hug. I'm going in.
两秒抱抱，我来也
How did you do that? Your hands never left my back.
你怎么办到的，你双手都没离开过我的后背
I am like David Blaine of zippers.
我是解拉链界的大卫布莱恩
I was trying to cheer you up.
我只是想让你开心起来
You did.
我是开心"起"来了呀
