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Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. You know? And it turns out I was wrong. And now it's lodged in my throat.
我想证明我是对的，结果我错了。现在它卡在我的喉咙里。
Monica: Damn it! You know this whole time we were concentrating on the babies and and no one was watching Chandler!
真是的，我们光顾着带小孩，都忘了要看着钱德！
Judge: Ok, you two are asking the court for an annulment?
两位要申请注销婚姻？
Rachel: Yes your honor, and here're, are forms, all filled out.
是的，申请表都填好了。
Judge: So, based on your petition… You are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable?
根据申请书所言……你申请注销的理由是，盖勒先生的精神状况不稳定。
Ross: Fine, I'm mentally unstable.
好，我精神状况不稳定。
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
而且他使用静脉注射毒品。
Ross: What? !
什么？！
Rachel: Uh yes, heroin and crack.
是的，海洛因与快克。
Ross: Crack isn't even an intravenous drug!
快克根本不是静脉注射毒品！
Rachel: Well, you would know.
你当然很了解了。
Judge: Now it also says here that you uh, lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
这上面还说你在婚前隐瞒性向？
Ross: Oh, come on!
拜托！
Rachel: Ross, please, I found the magazines!
罗斯，我发现那些杂志了！
Judge: And finally, that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin.
还有你无法履行夫妻间的义务。这也难怪，你是同志，又注射海洛因。
Ross: Ok, you know you know this's I'm sorry, this is insane!
很抱歉，这太夸张了！
Ross: I I I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything!
我没有注射海洛因，我不是同志，我履行什么都没问题！
Ross: Look, I'll I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now!
我现在就可以在这里履行！
Judge: That won't be necessary.
没有这个必要。
Ross: And when we were dating we consummated like bunnies! Rachel: Ugh!
我们交往时简直跟兔子有得拼。额！
Judge: Now if you two were involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
如果你们曾经认真交往，那就有问题了。
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured, that relationship ended like two years ago! And can you please strike ‘Consummated like bunnies’ from the record?
法官大人，我们2年前就分手了！可以删掉“跟兔子有得拼”吗？
Judge: Is there anything, in this record that is actually true?
这份申请书有任何实言吗？
Rachel: Uh, well, yes, we uh, we got married in Vegas and uh, and the names, I think?
有，我们确实在拉斯维加斯结婚，名字应该也没错，我觉得？
Judge: That's not the way the legal system works. This process is based on an objective review of the facts, not of the lie.
这样不符合法律程序。申请注销得根据客观事实，而不是谎言。
Rachel: Objection!
抗议！
Judge: It doesn't work like that either.
这样也不合程序。
Rachel: Overruled.
驳回。
Ross: Oh, stop it.
别闹了。
Judge: Well, based on what I've heard, you two certainly don't qualify for an annulment. If you don't wanna be together you'll have to file for divorce.
从刚才的话听来，两位不符合注销资格。如果你们不想在一起，就必须办理离婚。
Ross: That's great! You happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
太好了，你高兴了吗？都是你的搞笑表格害的！
Rachel: What? ! Me? ! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
什么？我？你那句跟兔子有得拼呢？！
Ross: And what And what're you typing that for? See what she said? We don't get the annulment.
那……你打什么打？你听到没？我们不能办注销了。
Ross: Don't type that! What? ! Stop typing! Hey! Stop typing! Stop typing, stop typing!
不要打，别再打了。别再打了。别打了！别打了！
Rachel: Ok, ok, do you see, do you see what you're keeping me married to? !
你看你让我嫁的是什么人？！
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
请两位离开我的办公室。
Rachel: All right, look, lady here is the deal. I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
好，你给我听着。我是来办注销的，没办成我绝对不走。
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
你们想在牢里过夜吗？
Rachel: Hey thank you for your time.
耽误您时间了。
Joey: So the Porsche guy took his car back.
保时捷的主人把车开走了。
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
但你捡到他的衣橱钥匙？
Joey: No. I just uh, I just loved the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
不是，我只是喜欢大家以为我有保时捷的感觉。
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because you're wearing the clothes?
你穿这样别人就会以为你有？
Joey: Of course!
那当然！
Monica: Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn't have the car! Right?
白痴才会没车还穿成这样，不是吗？
Chandler: That is true.
那倒是。
Phoebe: Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
不过只有天才才会误食音波死光枪。
Joey: Oh, I've been there. Yeah, I am gonna go drive my Porsche.
我也误食过。我要去开我的保时捷了。
Monica: Joey, you know you don't actually have one.
乔伊，你知道你没有保时捷吧。
Joey: Come on! What are you doing? ! I'm in character! Will you talk to her? !
拜托！你搞什么？我正在入戏，你说说她，好吗？！
Chandler: Ahh, I think it just moved. It's really poking me.
它动了，现在真的好刺。
Monica: All right, that's it, we're going to the emergency room.
够了，我们去挂急诊。
Phoebe: What? ! No, you can't, you can't leave me here with them! We're babysitting!
什么？你们不能把我扔给他们，我们正在带孩子！
Monica: The babies are asleep, I'm sure you'll be ok on your own for a while!
宝宝都睡了，你撑一下一定没问题！
Phoebe: But you you can't leave me with them! We we're a team! We're playing a zone! They're gonna triple team me!
但你们不能把我扔给他们！我们是一队的，在打区域联防，他们会以三打一！
Monica: He's got something plastic lodged into his throat, we've gotta go to the hospital.
他的喉咙卡了个塑胶玩具，我们非去医院不可。
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor won't be able to help him, it's just gonna you know naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
但医生也帮不了他，反正过个7年就会自动排出。
Chandler: I think that's gum.
那是口香糖。
Phoebe: I'm pretty sure it's gun.
我确定是死光枪。
Chandler: Ok, listen, this really hurts. Let's go.
真的很痛，我们走吧。
Phoebe: But no uh come A real man wouldn't just run to the hospital! No! What would, what would Krog do?
男子汉才不会冲去医院。克洛格会怎么做？
Joey: Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche?
那小子怎么还没把我的保时捷开来？
Passerby: Maybe because you've got the keys?
因为钥匙在你手上吗？
Rachel: That is totally your fault!
都是你的错！
Ross: My fault? ! You threatened the judge!
我的错？你威胁法官！
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter's machine!
你把簿记员的打字纸撕下来！
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
那样才能阻止他打下去！
Joey: Hi! How are the Gellers?
盖勒夫妇好吗？
Rachel: Don't, call us, that!
不准那样叫我们！
Ross: The judge wouldn't let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!
法官不准我们办注销，我们得去办离婚！
Ross: Did a Porsch throw up on you?
你被“保时夹”附身了吗？
Joey: Hey! It's Porsche! !
是保时捷！！
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right?
我完全可以照顾你们对吧？你们觉得很安心吧？
Phoebe: Ok, I'm gonna take that spit bubble as, ‘Yeah, I do!’. Ok, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, I'll set you up with a nice clean one.
吐泡泡就表示“是的”。我扔了脏尿布，就帮你换一块干净的。
Phoebe: Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Ok? Cause let's face it, we're at Monica's.
抱歉，我不是故意的，我得先清理一下。因为这是莫妮卡的家。
Phoebe: I broke it. All right. Well, that's just the way things go. Ok, good.
破了，反正东西迟早都会坏。好，就这样。
Phoebe: Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you can't answer. Leslie? Where are you Leslie?
为什么只剩两个？莱丝莉呢？你们不会说话，莱丝莉？你在哪里？
Phoebe: Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words!
莱丝莉，现在是开口说话的好时机！
Phoebe: Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! Oh, you're a lot mischievous! Well, it'll dry.
你看看你！你有点调皮喔！真是的！是非常调皮！好吧，它自己会干的。
Phoebe: Ok, you sit with your brother and sister now who aren't there!
去跟哥哥妹妹躺在一起…… 他们不在那！
Phoebe: How do you feel?
你还好吗？
Chandler: Well, let's just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.
再过12到14小时，克洛格就又能毁灭宇宙了。
Phoebe: Ok, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed them, bathed them, and put them to bed.
我一个人把孩子都带好了，喂奶、洗澡、哄他们睡觉。
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
还保护他们躲过龙卷风？
Monica: Oh my God.
我的天哪。
Phoebe: I know, the babies are asleep.
对啊，宝宝都睡了。
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here? !
菲比，家里是怎么了？
Phoebe: I did it! I took care of the babies all by myself!
我做到了，我一个人照顾宝宝！
Monica: But my apartment!
但是我的房子。
Chandler: Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.
是菲比胜利的战场。
Monica: But the mess!
但是这一团乱。
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
比起菲比的辛劳实在不算什么。
Monica: You're right, you're right, I shouldn't freak out. 'Cause this is what's gonna be like when you and I have babies! When will that be? !
你说得对，我不该大惊小怪。等我们有了孩子也会这样，那是什么时候呢？
Chandler: Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!
菲比，你看你弄得多乱！
Rachel: Oh honey thank God you're home, I was getting worried.
亲爱的，你总算回来了，我都开始担心了。
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, I've already signed everything and I put little 'X's where you need to sign.
我去领了离婚证书。该签的我都签了，你要签的地方我也画了叉。
Rachel: Oh, little 'X's! Great! That makes up for everything!
画叉，真好，这样就尽释前嫌了！
Ross: You know, I I you've done a lot of stupid stuff too! Ok?
知道吗……你也干过很多蠢事好吗。
Rachel: Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one!
有哪一件跟这次一样蠢！
Ross: Ok, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
你飞去伦敦阻止我结婚怎么说！我已经结婚了，你还说你爱我！
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
慢着，那不一样，我做那些事是因为我爱你！
Ross: Yeah! Right! You're right. That's very different. So let's, let's just sign the papers.
正是！你说得对，的确很不一样，总之赶快签一签吧。
Ross: What?
怎样？
Rachel: Nothing.
没事。
Ross: Ok, can we just sign, please? Congratulations.
请签名。恭喜你。
Rachel: Ok wait Ross, we're wait a minute. Umm. I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
罗斯，等一下。我有件事要坦白。
Ross: What?
什么事？
Rachel: Uh. . well you know this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea.
结婚这件事算是我的主意。
Ross: Excuse me?
什么？
Rachel: Uh well, remember how, we were too drunk to remember anything that night we were married?
好吧，我们不是醉到什么都想不起来吗？
Ross: Yeah?
怎样？
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didn't really, I didn't wanna say anything, but it just kinda, kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason you thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us, into this whole thing.
我很不想说，但是我的记忆一直回来。记不记得我们在赌场，你突然觉得狂吃葡萄会很好玩。然后我觉得我们结婚会更好玩。于是我们折中，先去结婚，再去吃很多葡萄。抱歉惹出这些麻烦。
Ross: So then if if I mean if you think about it, this is all your fault.
所以仔细想想，这一切都是你的错。
Rachel: Yeah, don't push it though.
不要得寸进尺。
Ross: I gotta say, I know I'd divorce a lot of women, . Never thought I'd be divorcing you.
我知道我跟很多人离过婚。却从来没想过会跟你离婚。
Rachel: I know. I always thought if we got married, that'd be the one that stuck. And it wouldn't be a secret, and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut.
是啊，我总觉得要是我们结婚，一定会天长地久。不会是秘密结婚，也不会在必胜客吃酒席。
Ross: Oh, did I, did I even treat?
我有请客吗？
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
没有，那是免费的，新婚夫妇特惠。
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing I've heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyer's office.
我没听过这么令人沮丧的事。我要送去律师那里。
Rachel: Yeah. Hey, thanks, Ross, for taking care of all this.
谢谢你把事情都办妥。
Ross: Eh, no problem.
不客气。
Rachel: I'm gonna need a copy of those.
我要一份副本。
Ross: Totally.
没问题。
Joey: Hey! Hey! Hey! Be careful around my Porsche!
嘿！嘿！嘿！别在我的保时捷旁边乱跑！
Woman: Hi Joey.
乔伊。
Joey: Hey! How you doing?
你们好吗？
Woman: He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
他有一辆最拉风的保时捷！
Joey: I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping. Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink?
我很想给你们看，但我刚哄到她睡着。你们两位想去喝一杯嘛？
