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Rachel: You know, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe who's always been somewhat of a question mark.
真是知人知面不知心，虽然菲比一直是个问号。
Monica: This is so bizarre. I guess it kinda makes sense though, you know she had such a terrible childhood.
好诡异喔。不过毕竟她的童年那么悲惨。
Chandler: Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I don't do porn.
我童年悲惨也没去拍A片。
Monica: Yes, but you are dead inside.
对，但是你的心死了。
Joey: All right well, I'd better take that back.
我还是拿去还吧。
Monica: Wh what, why?
为为为什么？
Joey: We can't watch that! I mean that's Phoebe!
我们不能看，那是菲比演的！
Monica: Yeah you're right, we can't we shouldn't watch this.
你说得对，我们不该看。
Rachel: Absolutely not.
没错。
Monica: You know maybe a little bit!
看一点好了！
Rachel: Probably just the first half.
前半段就好。
Joey: No! Hey no! This is wrong, you guys! Phoebe's our friend! Well, I'm not gonna watch it!
这样是不对的！菲比是我们的朋友我不要看！
Ross: Yeah! Good for you Joe!
没错，够义气！
Joey: Yeah.
没错！
Buffay: Ah, I thought I'd find you here, Nosferatu.
我就知道你在这里，纳斯佛拉吐。
The Vampire: Buffay, are you going to plunge your stake into my dark places?
布菲，你要把你的尖棍，深深插进我的体内吗？
Buffay: Actually, I was kind of hoping it would be the other way around.
其实我有点希望是你来插。
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
等等，她的脚踝上是什么？
Chandler: Her ankle is what you're watching?
你在看她的脚踝？
Rachel: Well, it's hard to tell...Oh God, she would just stop moving.
很难看得出来……她能不能不要动了
Chandler: She's just doing her job!
她只是在工作！
Joey: You sick bastards!
你们这些变态！
Rachel: Oh, it's a tattoo! That's weird, Phoebe doesn't...Wait that's Ursula! That's not Phoebe that is Ursula!
是刺青，怪了，菲比没……是乌苏拉啦！那不是菲比，是乌苏拉！
Joey: Re! Re! Then I can watch that! Rewind it! Rewind it!
倒带倒带！我可以看了，快倒带！
Phoebe: Hey! Oh. What's up? Oh my God! What am I doing? !
你们在干嘛？天哪！我在干什么？！
Monica: Hey sweetie!
亲爱的！
Chandler: Hey!
嘿！
Monica: Chicken Soup for the Soul?
“心灵鸡汤”？
Chandler: There's no back to this couch!
这张沙发背后是空的！
Monica: Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.
你看它干嘛？你讨厌这种书。
Chandler: Yeah I know, what if I figure I give it a shot you know?
我想试试看。
Chandler: Maymaybe one of those stories make me cry and then you wouldn't think I was you know, all dead inside.
也许有某个故事会让我哭，你就不会觉得我的心死了。
Monica: Oh that's so sweet! Chandler, I don't care if you can't cry, I love you.
你真有心！但你不会哭也无所谓，我爱你。
Chandler: Oh that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
这话温暖了我空空如也的胸口（《绿野仙踪》中铁皮人的台词）。
Monica: Stop it!
别闹了！
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, we're up at the altar and I'm like this.
你想嘛，哪天我们结婚了，来到神父面前，我却这样。
Monica: I won't care, because I know that you will be feeling it all in here.
我不在乎，因为我知道你内心会充满喜悦。
Chandler: Yeah?
是吗？
Monica: Yeah!
当然！
Monica: And if, and if we have a baby one day, and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room and you don't cry, so what? ! And and and, and if we take him to college, we come home and, we see his empty room for the first time, and you got nothing, won't matter to me.
要是有一天我们生小孩，医生在产房把宝宝交给你，而你没有哭，那又怎样？要是我们送他去念大学，回家第一次看到他的空房而你却没反应……我也不在意。
Chandler: Ok, well I won't uh, worry about this anymore then.
好，那我就不那么担心了。
Monica: Yeah. Andand you know if I die, from a long illness.
要是我死了。
Monica: And you're writing out my eulogy and you open the desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still can't shed one tiny tear, I know you'll be crying a river inside.
久病弃世，你在写哀悼词结果打开抽屉，看到我留了一张字条写道“我会永远与你同在”而你还是挤不出一滴眼泪，我会知道你的心早已泪流成河。
Chandler: Aww, I love you so...
我爱你……
Monica: What is wrong with you? !
你是怎么搞的？
Chandler: What? !
什么？
Monica: What? ! You can't shed a tear for your dead wife? ! Now, I left you a note from the beyond!
你居然无法为亡妻流一滴泪，我死后留了字条给你耶！
Chandler: So you didn't mean any of that? !
所以刚才都不是真心话？！
Monica: No, you robot!
废话，你这个机器人！
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to...Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that that's just a little game I I play with the kids down the hall.
死小孩！再乱按电铃我就……吉儿 我在跟走廊那头的小朋友玩。
Ross: Umm, they've really taken a liking to me. Uhh what's what's what's the matter?
他们越来越喜欢我有什么事吗？
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I I mean I know we're not supposed to see each other anymore and I'm ok with that, it's just that I don't know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
瑞秋和我大吵一架，我可以进去吗？我知道我们不能再见面，我也可以接受，只是我人生地不熟，又很需要找个人谈一谈，
Ross: Aw, of course, what what happened?
好啊，怎么了？
Jill: I don't wanna talk about it.
我不想谈。
Ross: Ok, umm...
好……
Jill: But you know what might really cheer me up?
不过有件事会让我比较开心。
Ross: What?
什么事？
Jill: Seeing some more of your super cool slides.
再多看几张你的超酷幻灯片。
Ross: Wow! Really? !
真的吗？！
Jill: Totally, I love them!
绝对的，我爱死了！
Jill: And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
你还可以继续讲解那几种不同的沙子。
Ross: Well, I'd love to! Here, o you you wait right here and I'll go get the projector and my notes!
没问题，你等一下，我去拿投影机和讲义！
Jill: Oh, great! Thanks Ross, you're such a good friend!
太好了，谢谢你，你真是个好朋友！
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I can't find her anywhere.
你们有看到吉儿吗？我到处都找不到她。
Monica: No, I haven't.
没看到。
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe I'll just call him to see if he's actually seen her.
罗斯在家吗？我打去问他好了。
Ursula: Who is it?
哪一位？
Phoebe: It's Phoebe! Phoebe!
是菲比……菲比！
Ursula: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: Oh God. So, so you're making porn movies.
天哪所以你在拍A片。
Ursula: No, I'm not.
我没有。
Man's Voice: Still rolling!
摄影机还在转！
Phoebe: You're making one right now!
你现在就在拍！
Another Man's Voice: Let's go, Phoebe!
菲比快点！
Phoebe: And and you're using my name!
而且还用我的名字！
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
对，有什么事吗？
Same Man's Voice: Phoebe, come on!
菲比，快点！
Phoebe: Look, I'm talking right now! You're you mean her.
我在跟别人说话……你是在叫她，噢。
Ursula: You know, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
双胞胎的题材一向很热卖。
Phoebe: What? !
什么？
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
我可以帮你谈到30块钱。
Phoebe: No! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! And shame on all of you! You're disgusting! Especially you with that!
不要！想都别想！而且别再冒用我的名字！你真丢脸！你们都很丢脸，你们恶心死了！尤其是你，和你的那个！
Ross: Slides are almost ready.
幻灯片快好了。
Jill: Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing! Alcohol!
好。我知道还少了什么：酒！
Ross: Uh ok, well there's there's wine in the kitchen.
好，厨房有红酒。
Jill: Oh, great!
太好了！
Ross: Hello?
嗨？
Rachel: What is my sister doing there? ! And why are the drapes shut? !
我妹妹为什么在你家？窗帘为什么拉上了？
Ross: O ok, Rach calm calm down, ok? She she's really upset, we're just talking.
好，你别激动，她心情很差，我们只是在聊天。
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me! `
罗斯，她想藉由跟你发生关系，来报复我。
Ross: Oh, so that's the only reason she could be here huh?
所以她来只是为了这个？
Ross: It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that that maybe I'm a good listener and I uh I put on uh, a great slide show!
会不会是因为我很善于倾听，放的幻灯片很好看！
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you she is using you to get back at me!
罗斯，是真的，她在利用你来报复我！
Ross: You know what? I think I can take care of myself, all right, I'll talk to you later. Goodbye.
我自己可以应付，回头再聊，再见。
Ross: ;Whoa! Uh, that that was your sister. Actually, she she thinks that you're just using me.
是你姐打来的，她觉得你在利用我。
Jill: So?
所以呢？
Phoebe: Hey!
嘿！
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
我刚去过乌苏拉的公司。
Joey: Oh no, not you too!
连你也做了！
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffay's checks, there were a lot of 'em.
不，我是去领菲比布菲的支票，有很多张喔。
Joey: Nice!
漂亮！
Phoebe: Ummmm, and, I won't have to go back there anymore because I gave them my, correct address.
而且我不必再去了，因为我留了我的“正确”地址。
Joey: That's great, but isn't it gonna bother that people still think you're a porn star?
太好了，但别人还是会误会，你不会困扰吗？
Phoebe: Oh no! No! I I know how to handle it.
不会，我有办法。
Joey: You do?
是吗？
Phoebe: Yeah.
没错。
Phoebe: You're trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, I'll give you a hint. From porn! Ok?
想知道你在哪里见过我？给你一个提示：A片！好吗？
Phoebe: Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie!
没错，你的变态男朋友在A片里看过我！
Phoebe: See?
看吧？
Joey: Aw yeah, yeah.
哇，不错，不错。
Chandler: Hey.
嘿。
Ross: You uh, you may've been right about Jill.
你对吉儿的看法或许没错。
Rachel: Oh! I knew it! What happened?
我就知道！怎么了？
Ross: Umm, she kissed me.
她吻了我 什么？
Rachel: What? ! You kissed!
你们亲嘴了？
Chandler: Maybe we should give them some privacy.
也许我们应该回避一下。
Monica: Shhhh!
嘘！
Ross: Look, I uh, I tried not to kiss her, ok?
我尽量不去亲她。
Rachel: Well, it doesn't sound like it! I mean, it's pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just don't kiss them! See? Look at us, right now, not kissing!
听起来可不是，想不亲一个人的话，不要亲就对了，我们现在就没有亲嘴！
Ross: Let me finish, ok? She started kissing me and and I didn't stop it. I guess I I just wasn't thinking...
让我说完好吗？她过来亲我，我没有阻止我没有多想……
Rachel: Yeah that's right you weren't thinking! You know what? Let me give you something to think about!
是啊，没有多想！我来让你好好想一想！
Ross: Oh what what But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
慢着，但是后来我一想就把她推开了。
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister's mouth long enough to tell me that.
谢谢你把舌头从我妹的嘴里缩回来告诉我。
Ross: Look, I I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
我是想到如果我跟吉儿怎样，我们就再也不能怎样了！
Rachel: What? !
什么？！
Ross: No, I mean, look I don't know if anything is ever going to happen with us, again, ever.
我是说，我不知道我们还会不会怎样。
Ross: But I don't wanna know that it it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
但我不想断绝这个可能性，于是我喊停，然后……她气得摔坏我的投影机。
Rachel: Wow. I, I don't even know what to say. Thank you.
我都不知道该说什么了。谢谢你。
Ross: You're welcome.
不客气。
Monica: Oh my God! Are are you crying?
我的天哪，你在哭吗？
Chandler: I just don't see why those two can't work things out!
这两个人为何就是不能在一起！
Jill: All right, I'm leaving! 'Cause I'm not gonna spend one more day with someone who's out to sabotage my every move. That's you Rachel!
好，我要走了！我要远离某个一直害我的人，就是你，瑞秋！
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
我知道。
Jill: You! I throw myself at you and you say no, how gay are you?
还有你，我投怀送抱你却不要，你真够同性恋的。
Ross: You take care Jill.
你自己保重。
Jill: Ok, I'm leaving. Don't worry about me, I'll make it on my own. Who knows how I'll get by, or even if I'll survive.
好，我要走了，别替我担心，我会自立自强就算我很茫然，不知该怎么活下去。
Rachel: Jill, you can uh, you can stop that now. I know you made up with daddy.
吉儿，别装了，我知道你跟爸和好了。
Jill: You do? How?
你怎么知道？
Rachel: Oh, just a wild guess, and uh, your limo just pulled up.
猜的，而且你的礼车到了。
Jill: Oh, yeah. Well sorry I didn't get to know you guys better.
我还来不及多认识你们。
Monica: Absolute shame.
真可惜。
Jill: Ok, see ya!
好，再见！
Rachel: Bye bye!
再见！
Monica: Bye.
再见。
Chandler: I I can't believe Jill's gone. I can't help it, I opened a gate.
吉儿居然走了。没办法，我一发不可收拾啊。
