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Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
《生活大爆炸》前情提要
My brother, he's got a big crush on Bernadette.
我哥哥 深深地暗恋着伯纳黛特
You're moving back to India?
你要回印度吗
What's going on?
这是怎么回事
It's-It's not what it looks like.
反正不是你们看上去的那样
What does it look like?
那到底看上去像怎么样
It's not what it looks like.
不是你们看上去的那样
It's not what it looks like.
不是你们看上去的那样
What are you grinding about?
你在碎碎念什么啊
Penny's brain teaser this morning.
佩妮今早留下的头脑风暴悬念
She and Koothrappali emerge from your bedroom.
她跟库萨帕里 从你的卧室走出
She is disheveled, and Raj is dressed only in a sheet.
她衣衫不整 拉杰只裹了个床单
The sole clue: "It's not what it looks like."
唯一的线索只有"不是你们看上去的那样"
Just let it go, Sheldon.
别纠结了 谢尔顿
If I could, I would, but I can't, so I shan't.
纠结不是我想停 想停就能停的
Now, knowing Penny,the obvious answer is, they engaged in coitus.
目前的信息表明佩妮 最明显的答案当然是两人交媾了
But...
但是...
Since that's what it looked like,
鉴于那是"看上去的那样"
we can rule that out.
我们可以排除这个可能性
Let's put on our thinking cap, shall we?
让我们戴上智能帽子考虑一下吧 如何
Raj is from India, a tropical country.
拉杰来自印度 一个热带国家（智能帽子:澳大利亚思维中心研制的让人更聪明的帽子）
Third World hygiene.
第三世界的卫生条件
Parasitic infections are common, such as pinworms.
寄生病感染司空见惯 例如蛲虫病
The procedure for diagnosing pinworms is to wait until the subject is asleep,
诊断蛲虫病的步骤 就是等待直到宿主陷入沉睡状态
and the worms crawl out of the rectum for air.
然后蛲虫从宿主的直肠爬出来透气
Yes, just like that.
没错 正像你刚才那样
Penny could have been inspecting Raj's anal region for parasites.
佩妮可能在观测寄生虫从拉杰的菊花爬出来呢
Oh, boy.
天呐
That's a true blue friend.
真是位称职的蓝颜知己啊
They slept together, Sherlock.
他们上床了 大神探
No, you weren't listening.
不 你没认真听
She said it's not what it looks like.
她说了 "不是你们看上去的那样"
She lied.
她说谎了
Oh.
呃
Don't I look silly sitting here wearing this?
那我坐在这还戴着这东西岂不是弱爆了
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
我们的宇宙进入了极热的高浓度状态，后来，140亿年前它开始扩张。等等……
The Earth began to cool,the autotrophs began to drool,neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall (we built the pyramids),
地球开始冷却，自养生物开始繁殖,穴居人学会使用工具，我们开始建墙（我们还建了金字塔）
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,That all started with the big bang!
数学、科学、历史解开了宇宙之谜。这一切从宇宙大爆炸开始。
Hey!Hey!Hey!Hey!
嗨！嗨！嗨！嗨！
Leonard, is it awkward for you knowing that one of your dear friends had sexual intercourse with a woman you used to love in the very place you lay your head?
莱纳德 现在对你而言 看到你的挚友跟你曾经爱过的女人 就在你每天睡觉的地方交媾 是否觉得很尴尬
No, I'm fine with it.
不 我能接受
That sounds like sarcasm,
那听起来像讽刺啊
but I'm going to disregard it, because I have an agenda-- paintball.
但是我决定无视它 因为我还有其他安排: 玩彩弹枪
Specifically, the interdepartmental tournament this weekend.
本周来点特别的 搞个不同部门间的比赛
In order to function better as a fighting unit,I thought we should establish a chain of command.
为了变为更有效率的作战小队 我认为我们有必要建立一个领导机制
Now, it goes without saying that I would outrank the three of you, but the question remains, by how much?
当然自不待言 我的地位理应高于你们三位 但问题在于 高多少呢
Now, I don't see me as some four-star general, back at HQ riding a desk
我认为我不该充当那种在指挥部桌前发号施令
and playing golf with the Secretary of Defense.
只会跟国防部打高尔夫的四星上将的角色
But I also can't be Sergeant Cooper,
但我也不能当库珀中士
because that might lead you to think of me as just a regular Joe.This might take some thought. As you were.
这可能会误导你们 把我仅仅看成个小人物 这事儿可能需要动点脑筋 交给你们了
What the hell is wrong with you?
你到底有什么毛病啊
Yeah, how could you do that?
是啊 你怎么能这么做呢
What is it to you?
关你什么是？
I got his back.
我挺他。
Yeah, right. You're just jealous because it turns out I'm Penny's number two choice after Leonard.
是啊 你嫉妒我因为事实证明 我才是佩妮仅次于莱纳德的第二选择
Hey, if I wasn't engaged to Bernadette,that totally could have been me.
拜托 如果我没跟伯纳黛特订婚 二号选择完全可能是我
Please. Sheldon would have been before you, and he might not even have genitals!
拜托 谢尔顿都有可能在你之前 他说不定连生殖器都没有呢
Why do you care so much? You're dating my sister, and Penny and I are in love.
你为何这么在意啊 你还跟我妹妹约会呢 况且佩妮和我还相恋了
What?!
什么？！
Gentlemen, if I may interject,
先生们 容我插一句
I've decided my rank will be captain.
我决定我的军阶为上尉了
If it's good enough for Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo, it's good enough for me.
如果科克船长 嘎嘣脆船长和袋鼠船长都能胜任此职 那对我而言也不错（嘎嘣脆船长:麦片品牌 袋鼠船长:美国某儿童节目主持人的称呼）
You're not in love with Penny.
你没有跟佩妮相恋
Yes, I am.
有 我有
The god Kamadeva has shot us with his flowery arrows of love.
伟大的天神迦摩天用他的爱之花箭射中了我们
Who?
谁
He's the Hindu version of Cupid,
他是印度的丘比特
but way better, because he rides a giant parrot.
但他帅多了 因为他骑着一只硕大的鹦鹉
Raj, come on. You fall in love with any girl who smiles at you. A month ago, you were writing poems about his fiance.
拜托拉杰 哪个女孩子对你笑 你就会爱上谁 一个月前 你还给他未婚妻写情诗呢
I'm sorry. What?!
什么 他啥意思
Rubbish. He's talking rubbish.
胡说 他胡说八道
Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.
哦 伯纳黛特 请给我吹箫吧
That could have been about anyone.
那也可以是别人嘛
Besides, you have nothing to worry about,because now I'm the dusky half of Koothrapenny.
况且 你没必要担心 我现在是库佩恋的主角之一
For the record, I do have genitals.
说明一下 我有生殖器
They're functional and aesthetically pleasing.
不但功能强劲 而且外形健美
Oh. Coming.
来了
Yup, that's good.
说到底
Wine glasses should have handles.
还是一醉解千愁
Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake.
准确记录你的酒精摄入量
Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few.
鉴于你的酒后乱性程度 这么做很聪明
You heard what I did?
你听说我干的事了
Well, I heard who you did.
我听说你干了谁了
Oh, my God,I screwed up everything.
老天呐 我全搞砸了
I hurt Leonard. I hurt Raj. I mean, what is wrong with me?
我伤害了莱纳德 我伤害了拉杰 我真是有毛病啊我
I feel like two totally different people--Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Whore.
我感觉自己完全是两个不同的人 原电影名为Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde（化娼博士）
Don't be so hard on yourself.
别太自责了
Do you know the story of Catherine the Great?
你知道凯萨琳大帝的故事吗
No.
不知道
She ruled Russia in the late 1700s, and one night, when she was feeling particularly randy,she used an intricate system of pulleys to have intimate relations with a horse.
她是俄罗斯 18世纪后期的统治者 一天晚上 她感觉性欲特别强 她用一个复杂的滑轮系统 跟一匹马发生了亲密关系
I'm... I'm sorry.What does this have to do with me?
不好意思 这跟我有什么关系
She engaged in interspecies hanky-panky,and people still call her "Great."
她跟不同物种发生过关系 但人们依然尊称她"大帝"啊
I'm sure your reputation can survive you shagging a little Indian boy.
我相信你的名誉不会因为 一个小印度男而毁掉的
You jerk face!
你个不要脸的东西
What did you tell Howard?!
你跟霍华德说什么了
Did you say there was something going on between us? Because he thinks there is! He's completely freaking out!
你跟他说我们之间有奸情是不是 他现在就是这么想的 他整个人都抓狂了
Please, come in.
请进
What the hell is wrong with you?!
你这人有毛病啊
Well...You were always so nice to me, I thought maybe you liked me.
你总是对我这么好 我以为你喜欢我嘛
I'm nice to everyone!
我对谁都这么好啊
I'm sorry!
对不起！
Damn right, you're sorry!
没错 你是对不起我
And you tell Howard there's never been anything between us!
你去跟霍华德说我们之间 没有任何暧昧之情
I will. Hey, Bernadette?
我会的。嘿，伯纳黛特？
What?!
干什么？
Do you think I have a shot with Penny?
你觉得我和佩妮有机会吗
Of course you do. You're a cutie pie! Any girl would be lucky to have you!
当然啦 你那么可爱 哪个女孩子遇到你真是三生有幸啦
You know, I've done this before.
你知道吗 我以前就犯过这种错
In kindergarten,I was supposed to marry Jason Sorensen at recess,but by the time my class got out there,he was already engaged to Chelsea Himmelfarb.
在幼儿园的时候 我本来要在下课期间嫁给杰森·索伦森 但等同学们都出来的时候 他已经和切尔西·辛莫法订婚了
So what did I do?
知道我怎么做吗
Hung upside down from the monkey bars, let all the boys see my underpants.
我倒吊在猴架上 让全部男生看我的内裤
You can't blame yourself.
你不能责怪自己
When your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy,promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of dopamine.
当你的前额皮质无法使你开心时 滥交能给你带来大量所需的多巴胺
We neurobiologists refer to this as the "Skank reflex."
我们神经生物学家称之为"下流反射"
You know what? Let's get out of here.
这样吧 我们出去玩
Where are we going?
我们去哪玩
Somewhere where no one's seen me naked.
去没有人看过我裸体的地方
We may have to drive awhile.
可能得开一会车才行
Subtlety isn't her strong suit, is it?
聪敏就不是她的强项 对吧
Can I stay at your place for a few nights?
我能去你家睡几晚吗
Really? A best friend sleepover? Yay.
真的吗 闺蜜来过夜 好嘢
Yeah, sure. Yay!
当然 好嘢
We'll make popcorn, stay up all night and I'll teach you my secret language, Op.
我们弄点爆米花 玩他个通宵 我会教你说我的密语 表嗷话
Sounds "Gop Rop E A Top."
应该是听上去"表嗷错噢"
Yeah, I'm gonna go pack a bag.
好吧。我去打包一下东西。
No, you're not.You're gonna "Pop A Cop Kop A Bop A Gop."
不你不是。你是去"收个表嗷噢"
Do we really have to wear this camouflage crap to play paintball?
我们真要穿这蠢爆了的迷彩服去打彩弹吗
Who said that?
谁在说话
Leonard, I can hear your voice,but I can't see you.
莱纳德 我能听到你 但看不到你
I'm not in the mood, Sheldon.
我没那心情 谢尔顿
Oh, there you are!
哎呀 你在这啊
Leonard,I know you're upset about recent events, and I have someone here to help.
莱纳德 我知道你为最近的事不开心 所以我找了人来帮你
I don't want to talk to Amy.
我不想和艾米说话
No, it's not Amy.
不 那不是艾米
Hello, dear.
你好 宝贝儿
You called my mother?
你叫了我妈
Oh, Leonard,is it really necessary to caption the obvious?
莱纳德 这么明显的事实非要说出来吗
He's been like that since he was a toddler.
他还是小孩时就这样了
Look, Mommy-- a butterfly.Maddening.
看呀 妈咪 一只蝴蝶 真闹心
What's going on? What do you want?
怎么了 你有什么事
Sheldon informed me that you're experiencing an emotional upheaval,and I'm here to help.
谢尔顿告诉我说 你正在遭遇感情上的剧变 所以我来帮忙
That's so nice.
你真贴心
And we're back to the obvious.
这不又是明摆着的么
