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Now, what's up?
好吧 怎么了
Well, uh... okay.
那个 嗯
I don't want to get back together with Penny.
我不想和佩妮复合
We tried it, it was crazy, it didn't work,but I can't deal with the fact that she slept with my friend Raj.
我们尝试过 很疯狂 效果很糟糕 但我也不能接受 她和我朋友拉杰上床了
And then I find out that Raj's sister Priya, who I've been going out with for eight months, is moving back to India. So I'm just completely confused and alone.
我还发现拉杰的妹妹普莉娅 我和她交往了八个月 而她现在要回印度 所以我完全迷茫和寂寞了
I understand.
我理解
Got any advice?
有什么建议吗
Yes. Buck up.
有 振作起来
Excuse me. You're a world-renowned expert in parenting and child development,and all you've got is "Buck up"?
啥 你一个世界知名的 育儿和儿童成长专家 能给的建议就是"振作起来"吗
Sorry. Buck up, sissy pants.
不好意思 振作起来 小娘炮
Thanks, Mother. I feel much better.
多谢 妈妈 我感觉好多了
If you need any more help from me,my books are available on Amazon. Logging off.
你要是有什么要我帮忙 就去亚马逊上买我的书 下了
...ninety-nine, one hundred.
九十九 一百
It's like a waterfall of liquid gold.
秀发如金色瀑布一般倾泻而下
My turn.
轮到我了
You know, I don't even know what the point of me staying in L.A. Is. I haven't gotten a single acting job since I moved out here.
我都不知道我干嘛要住在洛杉矶 我搬到这后连一次演员工作机会都没有
The closest I came was last month,I got a callback for a hemorrhoid commercial.
最接近的就是上个月 一个做痔疮广告的打了电话给我
Oh, I could so see you being the face of hemorrhoids.
我觉得你那张脸演得了痔疮的会很传神
I know, right?
你也觉得吧
Maybe I should just move back to Nebraska.
我是不是干脆搬回内布拉斯加得了
No, I can't let you do that.
不 你不能这么做
Why not?
为什么
For the first time ever,I have a thriving social life. And no pressure,but it kind of lives and dies with you.
有史以来第一次我的社交生活蒸蒸日上 不是给你压力 但你要是走了 这一切都完了
Hi, Amy.Can I talk to Penny?
你好 艾米 我能和佩妮谈谈吗
A guest in my trundle bed and a boy at my door?
我的滚轮床有人来睡 还有男生来我家
I wish I could tell 13-year-old me "It does get better."
我真想穿越回去告诉十三岁的我 "真的会好起来的"
How did you know I was here?
你怎么知道我在这里
It's all over her Facebook page.
她的Facebook上都写了
I'll take your stuff to the bedroom and clear out a drawer.
我把你的东西搬去卧室 然后给你誊出一个抽屉
Thanks.
谢谢。
No problem. Try and keep it in your pants, okay?
没事 这次管好你的裤子 好吗
So, hi.What's up?
你好 有事吗
I was wondering if you're free Friday.They're having a Totally '80s Night at the Greek. Hall & Oates, Katrina and the Waves and three-fifths of Kajagoogoo.
不知道你周五有没有空 周五在格里克有个八十年代之夜 有霍尔与奥兹二重唱 卡特琳娜 均是八十年代的音乐人和组合 还有卡加勾勾组合里的三个人
Oh Gee, that's really sweet, but the thing is...
这真的很不错 但问题是...
Aw, there's a thing.
有问题了
Look, honey, I was really drunk and made a huge mistake last night. We should've never slept together.It's what ruins friendships.
听着 亲爱的 我当时醉得很厉害 昨晚犯了个严重的错误 我们绝不该发生这种关系 这会毁了我们的友谊的
You can't ruin a friendship with sex.
做爱是毁不了友谊的
That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
就好像巧克力屑不会毁了冰淇淋一样
Come here.Just listen to me. I want to go back to the way we were before.
来坐下来 听我说 我想时光倒流 回到我们从前那样
You know, friends.No sprinkles.
当朋友 不放巧克力屑
Oh. All right.
哦！好吧
Thank you.
谢谢你
Well, as your friend, you might like to know that, um...
作为朋友 我要告诉你
we didn't have sex in the conventional sense.
传统意义上来说 我们没有做爱
Oh, God.Did you pull some weird Indian crap on me?
天哪 你对我做了什么怪异的印度花样吗
No, no.
不 不是的
After we got undressed and jumped in bed,you-you asked if I had protection.
我们脱光衣服上床之后 你问了我有没有带安全套
Oh, you did, didn't you?
哦 你一定带了 是吧
Of course. I'm always packing.
当然 我一向随身带着的
Anyway,um, I had trouble putting it on and you tried to help and...that was all she wrote.
总之 当时我有点戴不上套子 你就想来帮我 然后就没有然后了
So, we didn't actually...
所以 我们其实没有...
I did.It was beautiful.
我射了 感觉很美妙
Oh!!
天啊！！
Penny, please, please promise me you won't tell anybody about this.
佩妮 求求你答应我 不会告诉任何人
Of course I won't. No, I won't. Oh, good.
当然 一定不说 太好了
Um, can I tell people that our love burned too bright and too quickly? Kind of a "Candle in the Wind" deal?
我可不可以告诉别人 我们的爱燃烧太快 转瞬即逝 就像"风中之烛"那样
Sure.
当然可以
Cool. Can I say it fell apart because you were all "I want to have your babies" and I was like "I'm too rock and roll to be tied down"?
酷 我可以说我们分手是因为你一直嚷嚷着想要我孩子 而我觉得自己还要继续流浪不能安定下来吗
No.
不行
Can I say I ruined you for white men?
我可以说因为你是白种人 所以我甩了你吗
Also no.
还是不行
Okay just the kindle thing... Yeah...
好，那就直说“风中之烛”…… 对……
Cool.All right... friend.
酷 好吧 朋友
I'll see you around.
回见
Okay.
好的
Raj, wait.
拉杰 等等
Thank you for being my friend.
谢谢你当我朋友
Penny? enhuh?
佩妮 嗯？
It's getting beautiful again.
我又开始觉得美妙了
All right, this is a Google Earth view of the field of battle.
好了 这是本战场的"谷歌地球"画面
I don't see anything.
我什么都没看见
Give it a second to load.
等一会 在载入
Whenever you're ready, AT&T!
可以了吧 AT&T(美国电话电报公司)
Okay, here we go.This is us here.
好了 来吧 我们在这
To the south is Professor Loomis and the Geology Department.According to their twitter feed, they're out of sunblock,which means they'll have to hug the tree line or risk melanoma.
南面是卢米斯教授和地质系诸人 据其twitter记录 他们没防晒霜了 就是说他们要不躲在林木线下 不然就有得黑色素瘤危险
That's our edge.
这就是我们的优势
All we have to do is move quickly over this ridge,the rock-worshipping pasty-faced bastards won't know what hit them! All right, let's move out.
我们只需要快速穿过这个山脊 就能把这帮崇拜石头 苍白脸色的混蛋 出其不意地击倒 好了 出发吧
Hang on, Sheldon.
等等 谢尔顿
How could you not tell me your sister was moving back to India?
你怎么能不告诉我 你妹妹要回印度
Maybe he was too busy writing clumsy penis metaphors about my fiance.
也许他当时正忙着写关于我未婚妻的拙劣阴茎隐喻
Screw you.That was a beautifully written penis metaphor.
滚你的 那明明是绝妙的阴茎隐喻
You know what, guys, I'm not in the mood for paintball. What do you say we just bag it?
各位 我实在没心情打彩弹球 不如我们直接当逃兵吧
Fine with me. Sure whatever.
我没意见。 好吧，随便。
You can't quit. That's a court-martial offense. That's punishable by...
不能当逃兵这样是要交军事法庭审判的罪行 可被判处...
You can't quit.
反正不行
Sorry, Sheldon, it's just not a good time for playing games.
抱歉谢尔顿 现在玩彩弹球游戏实在不是时候
This is a game to you? Uh, was the Battle of Antietam a game? Huh? Was the sack of Rome a game?
你以为这是游戏吗 安提耶坦之战也是游戏吗 美国南北战争时期的著名战役 罗马被洗劫也是游戏吗（历史上 罗马曾遭多次洗劫 ）
Yes, no and no.
是 不是 不是
Wait.
慢着
I just want you all to know that I forgive you.
我只是想你们知道 我原谅你们了
This mutiny isn't your fault,it's mine.
这次叛变不是你们的错 是我的问题
I haven't earned these bars.
我配不上这些两道杠(军衔)
Although what I lack in leadership, apparently I more than make up for in sewing.
显然我的领导才能的不足 全弥补在缝纫技术上了
Let it go, Sheldon. I'll get you a Jamba Juice on the way home.
算了吧 谢尔顿 （原名坚宝果汁）回家的路上我会给你买杯丈八果汁的
No. Jamba Juice is for heroes.
不要 丈八果汁是给英雄喝的
And that's what we're going to be.
所以我们要当英雄
What are you doing?
你要干嘛
Following in the footsteps of Kirk, Crunch and Kangaroo.
步柯克船长和嘎嘣脆船长 以及袋鼠船长的后尘
Geology isn't a real science!
地质学不是真正的科学
Damn those sons of bitches!Let's get 'em! Eat paint!
那帮混球太过分了 干掉他们 尝尝老子的厉害
If there's ever a Church of Sheldon,this will be when it started.
如果将来有谢尔顿党的话 那应该就是从此时开始的
Ow!
哎呦喂
I'd like to propose a toast to the man whose noble sacrifice inspired our victory,Captain Sheldon Cooper.
让我们为英雄举杯 正是他悲壮的牺牲 我们才能赢得胜利 感谢谢尔顿·库珀上尉
Cheer Cheer
干杯 干杯
Excuse me. It's Major Sheldon Cooper.
抱歉 应该是谢尔顿·库珀少校
With my last breath, I awarded myself a battlefield promotion.
为了犒赏在沙场上的英勇 我用仅存的一口气 给自己升了一级官
It's kind of a big deal.
这也算小有成就吧
Hi. You guys have a minute?
嗨 你们有时间吗
Uh, yeah, sure.
当然有
Okay.
好的
Well, I already talked to Raj,but I wanted to apologize to the rest of you for,you know, everything.
我已经跟拉杰谈过了 但是我想向你们其他几个道歉 为之前的一切 道个歉
Please, Penny, let me.
拜托 佩妮 让我来说吧
We've decided to let our crazy, wonderful night together be just one of those memories you have and can call to mind when you're feeling blue or you're in the shower.
我们决定让那晚既疯狂又美好的春宵 成为大家心里的美好回忆 当你们心情低落或洗澡时 可以拿出来回味一下
Hey, what you doing, Quick Draw?
你这是干什么 三分钟先生(早泄王)
Sorry. Go on.
抱歉 您请说
Anyways, I wanted you guys all to know that I've been taking a really hard look at things and come to the conclusion I have to stop kidding myself.
总之 我来是想告诉大家 我很认真地审视了一遍自己 于是得出一个结论 我不能再自欺欺人了
I suck at acting.
我根本不会演戏
It's time for me to move back to Nebraska.
是时候卷铺盖回家了
You're leaving?
你要走吗
Yeah.
对
What are you going to do in Nebraska?
你准备回内布拉斯加做什么
I don't know, maybe teach acting.
不知道 或许教表演吧
Oh, sorry. Hold on.Hello?
抱歉 稍等 你好
Penny, listen, I hope you're not doing this 'cause of you and me, because I have a girlfriend, and you're a single woman...
佩妮 听着 我不希望你是因为我才走的 因为我有女友相伴 而你只能孤芳自赏
Shh! It's my agent, it's my agent.
别吵 我经纪人打来的
You're kidding.Oh, my gosh.I can't believe it! Really?!
你开什么玩笑 天啊 我简直不敢相信 真的吗
Oh, I'm so excited! Thank you so much. Okay, bye.
我太激动了 非常感谢 好 再见
I got the hemorrhoid commercial!I start Monday!
我接了个痔疮广告 周一开拍
What about Nebraska?
那内布拉斯加呢
Oh, hell with Nebraska.I'm gonna be a star!
鬼才回内布拉斯加 姐要当明星啦
Have you ever thought of teaching physics?
你有考虑过教物理吗
Ready to ride?
准备要上马了吗
I don't think so, Mom.Not today.
恐怕不行 妈 今天不行
Oh, sweetie.
小宝贝
Hemorrhoids acting up again?
痔疮又犯了吧
You don't know the half of it.
你不会明白我的痛
Oh, yes, I do.
不 我懂
Try a dab of this.
只需轻抹痛处一点点
Rose-scented Preparation-H for women?
女性专用玫瑰香型白宫痔疮膏
Now, the "H" Is for "Her."
现在白宫的大门是专为你而开
I'm proud of you.
我真为你感到骄傲
Shh! Here comes my joke.
别吵 到我抖包袱了
How you doing?
感觉如何
Sittin n pretty
爽快又自在(双关: 痔疮没问题+骑马很开心)
