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So if you are considering going into experimental physics, my door is always open.
如果你们对实验物理有兴趣，随时欢迎。
Once again, I'm sorry that the demonstration didn't quite work out, but now we know what happens when you accidentally spill Peach Snapple into a helium neon laser.
再次的抱歉，演示不太成功，但至少我们知道了氦氖激光管里不小心洒了桃味饮料的后果。
Short answer is...don't.
明智的做法是...别那么做。
And now to tell you about the theoretical physics department is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Dr. Cooper? Forget it.
接下来给你们讲理论物理的是谢尔顿·库泊博士。库泊博士？我不来。
Excuse me. Sheldon, we both agreed to do this.
谢尔顿我们可商量好了的。
It's a waste of time. I might as well explain the laws of thermo dynamics to a bunch of labradoodles.
这是浪费时间。我还不如去给一群拉布拉多犬讲解热力学理论。
If you don't do this, I won't take you to the comic book store.
要是不配合不带你去漫画书店。
Hello. Nice work with the laser, by the way.
大家好。我说，激光实验做的不错嘛。
Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I too was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student.
看着你们这些年轻的新鲜面孔，不禁想起了当年还是小研究生时我决定步入学术道路的那一刻。
Of course, I was 14.
当然，那时我才14岁。
And I'd already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime.
那时即使我9点就得睡觉，也已小有成就，令在座大多数人至今望尘莫及。
Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics.
你们中或许有一两位具备天赋，在理论物理上有所建树，
Although, it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier mache volcanoes with baking soda lava.
当然啦，各位的科学前程将更有可能教五年级学生怎样用烘烤苏打粉来糊个纸火山。
Oh, good God.
老天啊。
In short, any one who told you that you would someday be able to make any significant contribution to physics, played a cruel trick on you, a cruel trick indeed.
总之，要是有人告诉你们有朝一日能对物理做出巨大贡献，那完全是一个残忍的笑话，太残忍了。
Any questions? Of course not.
有问题吗？自然没有了。
I weep for the future of science. Now if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out.
真为科学的未来感到悲哀。恕我不奉陪，最新的蝙蝠侠发行了。
Come, Leonard. Laser demonstration is looking pretty good now, huh?
走吧兰纳德。现在看来，那个激光器实验还不错吧？
I love this time of the year. The leaves are turning, there's a bracing chill in the air.
每年的这个时节真叫我倾心，树叶转色，空中的寒意让人神清气爽。
Plus there's a whole new crop of female grad students about to put on just enough winter weight to make them needy and vulnerable.
再加上新来的一群女研究生准备在冬天稍微长点膘，使她们显得小鸟依人、楚楚可怜。
That's right, honey, have another calzone. Daddy can wait.
这就对了嘛宝贝，再吃块馅饼。老子可以再忍忍。
Isn't there a university policy against dating graduate students?
不是有校规嘛？不能和研究生约会的。
No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
不是，只要能跟她们搭上话，你可以随便约。
Damn, there's always a catch.
该死，陷阱真是无处不在。
Hey, guys. Hey, Leslie. So, dumb ass, I heard you made a grad student throw up last night.
好呀小伙子们。好莱斯莉。大傻冒，听说昨晚你把一个研究生恶心吐了。
The truth can indeed be a finger down the throat of those unprepared to hear it.
其实是没准备好讲的人自己用手指抠吐的。
But why should I cater to secondrate minds?
我干吗要去给那些二流智商的人讲课？
Because firstrate minds call you dumb ass.
因为智商一流的人总喊你傻冒儿。
Oh, yeah? Well...you're a mean person.
切，是吗？嗯...你这个毒舌妇。
Excuse me, Dr. Cooper, I'm Ramona Nowitzki. I was at your talk last night. I think you're just brilliant.
打扰下库泊博士，我是拉蒙娜·诺维茨基，昨晚我听了你的讲课，我觉得你真是天才。
That is the prevailing opinion.
绝大多数人都这么认为。
Oh, now I'm gonna throw up.
这下我要去吐了。
Howard Wolowitz, department of engineering, codesigner of the International Space Station's Liquid Waste Disposal System.
霍华德·沃勒维茨，工程系的，参与设计了国际空间站液体废物处理系统。
Ew. Dr. Cooper, I've read everything you've published.
嗯。库泊博士，我拜读了你发表的全部文章，
I especially liked your paper on grand unification using stringnetwork condensates
我特别钟意那篇从弦网浓缩角度阐述大统一理论，
and was wondering how you determined that threedimensional stringnets provided a unified picture of fermions and gauge bosons?
我很好奇你是怎么确定3D弦网提供了费密子和规范玻色子的统一描述？
Amazing, an intelligent labradoodle.
奇迹啊！这只拉布拉多真聪明！
The fact is I'm quite close to a breakthrough in showing how neutrinos emerge from a stringnet condensate.
其实呢我离研究突破就差一点点，就快搞清楚微中子如何在弦网冷凝物中脱出了。
Oh, my God, that would change the way we view the entire physical universe. It's what I do.
天啦，那会颠覆全球对整个物理界的认识。我就是干这个的
You know, the PishkinWolowitz Liquid Waste Disposal System is turning a few heads as well. Again, ew.
你知道，帕什金沃勒维茨(两名设计者)废液处理系统也震动了一些人。又来了，恶心。
You know, I'd love to hear more about how you intend to add neutrinos. Could we get a cup of coffee sometime?
我很想听你讲讲怎样加入微中子，啥时候去喝杯咖啡吧？
I don't drink coffee. I do. I love me a cup of Joe.
我从不喝咖啡。我喝，我最爱喝咖啡了。
Well, it doesn't have to be coffee. How about dinner? I do eat dinner.
不一定非要喝咖啡，一起晚餐如何？晚饭我还是要吃的。
Great. I know a terrific little Italian place.
那就好，我知道有家意大利餐厅超棒。
I never eat in strange restaurants. One runs the risk of nonstandard cutlery.
我从不去陌生的餐厅吃饭，不合格的餐具危害生命。
Excuse me? Sheldon lives in fear of the threetined fork.
啊，什么？谢尔顿对三个分叉的叉子有恐惧心理。
Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas.
三个分叉的根本不能叫叉子，那叫三叉戟。叉是用来吃东西的，而三叉戟是用来统治七海的。
What if I brought food to your place?
要不我把吃的带去你那儿？
That would be acceptable. On Mondays, I eat Thai food. Mee krob and chicken statay with extra peanut sauce from Siam Palace.
这倒行。周一我吃泰国餐，脆炸米粉和沙爹鸡肉串加上暹罗宫的花生酱。
You got it. I already have your address. What a nice girl.
没问题。我有你家的地址。多好的姑娘啊。
Sheldon, do you have any idea what just happened?
谢尔顿你到底有没有搞懂刚才怎么回事？
Yes. Apparently I'm getting a free dinner.
当然，显然我可以吃顿免费晚餐。
Oh, yeah, no, this thing's majorly out of order. See? Sorry. That's okay. Guess I'm taking the stairs.
不好意思，这东西基本上不能用啦。看吧，真不好意思。没关系，那我走楼梯。
Where you going? 4A.Oh, are you here to see Leonard? No, Dr. Cooper. Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
你去哪家呢？4A。是来找兰纳德的吧？不是，我找库泊博士。你说的是谢尔顿·库泊博士？
We're having dinner. Sheldon Cooper? Tall, thin, looks a little like a giant praying mantis?
我们要共进晚餐。你确信是谢尔顿·库泊？那个瘦瘦高高长得像巨人版螳螂煞星的？
He is cute, isn't he? Sheldon Cooper?
他好帅的是吧？真的是谢尔顿·库泊？
Hi, Leonard. Hey, Ramona. Come on in. Thanks. Where should I put this?
你好兰纳德。你好拉蒙娜，快进来。谢谢，这些东西放哪儿呢？
Uh, the kitchen is fine. Hey, what are you doing?
放厨房就好了。你来有事吗？
I need to see this. The viewing area is right over there.
这好戏我不能错过呀。观众席在那边。
Sheldon, your girl...date...person...Ramona is here.
谢尔顿你女朋...约会对...拉蒙娜来了。
Oh, hello. Oh, sorry I'm late. I just got so caught up reading the draft of your latest paper.
你好啊。不好意思我迟到了，我看到你刚发表的论文草本看得太入迷了。
Did you enjoy the humorous footnote where I illustrate mirror symmetry by likening it to the Flash playing tennis with himself? So funny.
我对镜象对称性作了一个脚注说明，把它比喻成闪电和自己打网球，你体会到其中的幽默了吗？太好笑了。
But the idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity, I have to tell you, I found it physically exhilarating.
不得不提的是你关于重力组合可能性的猜想真的是让我非常兴奋。
My hypotheses tend to have that effect.
我的假设通常都有这种效果。
I'm sorry I didn't bring enough for your friends. I assumed we were going to be alone.
不好意思，我没给你朋友带吃的。我以为就我们两人。
Oh, yeah. No, we were just going. To watch, right?
喔没错，我们正要...准备看戏，不是吗？
No, come on, now, we're going out. Oh, come on, we'll be quiet.
不，我们马上就出门了。别这样嘛，我们不说话成吗？
Let's go, let's go. Okay, you two. Have a nice...whatever this is.
我们还是走吧，走吧。好了，祝你们俩的...过个好...不管什么吧。
Okay, you guys, look, I know this is none of my business, but I just...I have to ask what's Sheldon's deal?
你们听好，我清楚这事压根跟我没关系，但是我还是要忍不住想问谢尔顿的取向到底是啥？
What do you mean "deal"? You know, like what's his deal? Is it girls...? Guys...? Sock puppets...?
什么取向啊？就是说，他喜欢哪种类型的？女人，男人，充气娃娃？
Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.
说实话，在我们的逻辑中他根本没有取向。
Come on, everybody has a deal.
别这样说，每个人都有喜欢的取向啊。
Not Sheldon. Over the years, we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
除了谢尔顿。多年来我们通过各种理论试图探究他将如何繁衍后代。我主张的是有丝分裂。
I'm sorry? I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
什么？我相信总有一天当谢尔顿吃到一定量的泰国菜，他就会分裂成两个谢尔顿。
On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species, and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
另一方面，我在想谢尔顿可能是他这个物种的幼虫状态，有一天他会做茧，不出俩月就破茧成蝶。
Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares.
谢谢你俩给我讲恐怖故事。
Hey, do you want to hang out with us?
要不我们一起出去逛逛。
What are you guys gonna do?
你们有什么节目？
My mom is making a brisket tonight.
我妈妈今晚作了胸肉。
The one with the little onions?
那种放了小洋葱的？
Yeah, I'm busy, so...Good night. Her loss. Let's go.
不好意思我很忙，晚安吧。不去是她的损失，我们走吧。
Brisket party! B to the R to the ISK...To the E to the T...Ooh... Don't.
胸肉聚会耶，胸是胸肉的胸，肉是胸肉的肉，哦也。得了吧。
Hey, aren't you having breakfast? Yes.
你不吃早餐吗？我吃的。
Are you experimenting with nutritional suppositories again? Not in these pants.
你又在捣鼓那些营养栓剂啊？穿这条裤子，不干那活儿。
So...how'd it go with Ramona last night? Oh, great. She's smart, insightful and she has a very unique way of, you know, revering me.
话说你昨天和拉蒙娜玩的咋样？爽歪了，她好聪明，好有见解，而且用一种十分独特的方式崇拜我。
Here's your spinach mushroom omelet. Thank you. Did anyone touch it?
这是你的菠菜蘑菇煎蛋卷。谢谢。有谁碰过这个吗？
Gloves were worn by everyone involved. I was vigilant.
每个人手上都带上了手套。我一直很小心。
Ramona pointed out that I've been wasting 20 minutes a day standing on cafeteria lines.
拉蒙娜跟我说，我每次浪费20分钟在食堂排队，
Time which would be better spent tackling the great physics problems of our day.
这些时间用来攻克世界级的物理课题会更好。
You don't tackle the big issues, Ramona. You fence with them. En garde. Riposte. Touche.
哎，我们不是攻克难题拉蒙娜，是要和它们周旋。准备好，杀个回马枪。说的好。
Morning. Hi, Leslie. So, Sheldon, I see you're organizing your papers for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.
早上好。你好 Leslie。谢尔顿，我看到你在为Smithsonian的那个傻冒儿博物馆赶论文呢。
There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit. Oh, good one.
在撤下莱斯莉·温可的永久展览前，那里没有多余的展厅。喔，正点。
I see you got a grad student to fight your battles for you. I'll let you keep your lunch money today.
你居然找了一个研究生替你出头。今天就饶你一马，不收你的午餐费了。
Okay, Dr. Cooper is on the verge of a breakthrough. If you're going to stay, you'll have to be respectful and quiet.
库泊博士马上要取得突破性的进展，如果你想待在这里，你就得乖乖的听他的。
Wait for me. So have you worked out the neutrino issue?
等我一下。微中子问题解决了吗？
Well, to paraphrase Mozart, all the subatomic particles are there. I just have to put them in the right order.
为了诠释莫扎特，所有的次原子微粒都齐备了。我只需要把他们按顺序排列一下。
You're so witty. Aren't I?
你可真机敏呀。谁说不是呢。
