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Bernie Bunny Has Two Daddies Now. That's probably about homosexual rabbits.
兔子波尼有两个爸爸了，估计是同志兔子的故事。
Gerry the Gerbil and the Bullies on the Bus. Read it. Not helpful.
沙鼠杰瑞和恶霸在公车上。读过了，没啥用。
Oh, here we go. Stu the Cockatoo Is New at the Zoo.
哦有了，动物园的新成员鹦鹉斯图。
Author Sarah Carpenter lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana with her husband and best friend, Mark, and their cockatoo Stu.
Sarah Carpenter作，现与其爱人朋友马克以及鹦鹉斯图，居住于印第安纳州韦恩堡。
Hardly makes her an expert in making friends, wouldn't you agree?
没有点交友专家的样子，你说是吧？
I don't like birds. They scare me. Me, too. Most people don't see it.
我不喜欢鸟类，它们多吓人。我也是。很多人都意识不到。
What are you reading? Curious George. Oh, I do like monkeys. Curious George is a monkey.
你读啥呢？好奇的乔治。哦，猴子我最喜欢。好奇乔治就是猴子。
Somewhat anthropomorphized, but yes.
算是人格化的，但没错。
Say, maybe sometime you and I could go see monkeys together. Would you like that? Okay.
或许啥时候咱俩去看猴子，你觉得好不？好哇。
Sheldon, what are you doing? I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name? Rebecca.
谢尔顿你干嘛呢？我和这小女孩交朋友呢，你叫什么名字？丽贝卡。
Hi, Rebecca. I'm your new friend, Sheldon. No, you're not. Let's go.
嗨丽贝卡，我是你的新朋友谢尔顿。不别搞了，走吧。
We were really hitting it off. Don't look up. There's cameras.
我俩聊得正投机呢。别抬头，上面有摄像头。
I'm curious, the "How well do you know Sheldon" section, what did you put for his favorite amino acid? Lysine. Lysine.
我想知道， 在“你有多了解谢尔顿”那项他最喜欢的氨基酸你们填的啥？赖氨酸。
Damn it, I had lysine and changed it.
完了，我本来写了赖氨酸又改了。
Oh, good, you're just in time. I believe I've isolated the algorithm for making friends.
太好了，正好，我想我解开了交友解题步骤。
Sheldon, there is no algorithm for making friends.
谢尔顿，交友哪有解题步骤啊。
Well, hear him out. If he's really onto something, we could open a booth at ComicCon. Make a fortune.
听他讲完，要是真有什么发现，我们就在动漫大会上弄个展台大赚一笔。
See, my initial approach to Kripke had the same deficiencies as those that plagued Stu the Cockatoo when he was new at the zoo.
是这样，我最初和克里普柯搭话就跟鹦鹉斯图刚到公园时一样有着缺陷。
Stu the Cockatoo? Yes. He's new at the zoo.
鹦鹉斯图？没错，他是动物园新成员。
It's a terrific book. I've distilled its essence into a simple flow chart that will guide me through the process.
超赞的书。我摘录它的精华制作了流程图来指导我。
Have you thought about putting him in a crate while you're out of the apartment?
有没有考虑过出门时把他装进大木箱里？
Hello, Kripke? Sheldon Cooper here.
你好克里普柯。我是谢尔顿?库珀。
It occurred to me that you hadn't returned any of my calls because I hadn't offered any concrete suggestions for pursuing our friendship.
我想到了，你没回我的电话是因为我没为发展友情提出实际建议，
Perhaps the two of us might share a meal together.
或许咱俩该一起吃个饭。
I see. Well, then perhaps you'd have time for a hot beverage? Popular choices include tea, coffee, cocoa.
了解。那有没有时间喝个热饮？最受欢迎的有茶，咖啡，可可。
I see. No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up yet. What about a recreational activity?
了解，别，先别挂，娱乐活动怎么样呢？
I bet we share some common interests. Tell me an interest of yours.
我们肯定有共同爱好。说说你有啥兴趣爱好？
Really? On actual horses? Tell me another interest of yours.
真的呀？骑真马？再说个兴趣爱好。
I'm sorry. I have no desire to get in the water till I absolutely have to. Tell me another interest of yours.
抱歉，不到逼不得已我才不下水游泳。再说个兴趣爱好。
Uhoh, he's stuck in an infinite loop. I can fix it.
哦这问题要无限循环下去了。我来搞定。
Interesting, but isn't ventriloquism by definition a solo activity?
有意思，但口技不是个人娱乐项目吗？
Yeah. Tell me another interest of yours. Is there any chance you like monkeys?
再说个兴趣爱好。你喜不喜欢猴子呀？
What is wrong with you? Everybody likes monkeys.
你咋回事嘛？人人都喜欢猴子。
Hang on, Kripke. A loop counter and an escape to the least objectionable activity. Howard, that's brilliant. I'm surprised you saw that.
别挂克里普柯，没办法时选择不太讨厌的项目。霍华德聪明啊，你居然想到了。
Gee, why can't Sheldon make friends?
天呀，谢尔顿咋交不到朋友呢？
All right, Kripke, that last interest strikes me as the least objectionable, and I would like to propose that we do that together. Tomorrow. Yes, I'll pay.
好了克里普柯，你刚说那兴趣爱好是我不太讨厌的，我提议咱一起去玩，明天。是的我付钱。
All right. Time to learn rock climbing. You know, I am a fan of ventriloquism.
好啦，该学学攀岩了。要知道，我超喜欢口技。
Maybe you, me and your dummy could go get a hot beverage. He could talk while you drink. Nope. I wanna climb some rocks.
要不你我还有你的小假人去喝个热饮，你喝时他表演。算了，我想攀岩。
This appears significantly more monolithic than it did on my laptop.
这家伙比在电脑上看起来大啊。
One expects to see hominids learning to use bones as weapons. You afraid of heights, Cooper?
想看原始人怎么用骨头当武器呢。你恐高啊库珀？
Hardly. A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
哪能啊，恐高完全不合理。然而害怕掉下来才是有发展眼光的说法。
What would you say is the minimum altitude I need to achieve to cement our newfound friendship?
你说要巩固我们的友情，我最少要爬多高呀？
Come on, they have birthday parties here. Little kids climb this. Little kid hominids perhaps.
好啦，这开生日会呢，小盆友都爬。小原始人吧。
So is this your entire job? Your parents must be so proud.
你工作就干这点事啊？父母一定很骄傲。
Let's go, Cooper. I'm coming, Kripke. Okay, the harness seems to be secure.
来啊库珀。来了克里普柯。好的，绳子貌似很结实
A small amount of incontinence just now, but the Web site said that's to be expected.
刚才有点不能自制，但网上说那是正常情况。
This isn't so bad. It's like vertical swimming.
也不咋难嘛，像是垂直游泳。
Hey, look at you, Cooper. You're almost halfway to the top. I am?
嘿，瞧瞧库珀，都爬到一半了。是吗？
I was wrong. It is a fear of heights. You all right there, Cooper?
我错了，我恐高。你还好吗库珀？
Not really. I feel somewhat like an inverse tangent function that's approached an asymptote. Are you saying you're stuck?
不太好，感觉像是反正切曲线接近渐近线了。你是说你卡住了？
What part of inverse tangent function approaching an asymptote did you not understand?
反正切曲线接近渐近线，哪个字你不明白？
I understood all of it. I'm not a moron. Just keep going.
我都明白，我又不是白痴，接着爬啦。
Yeah, I don't think I can. Well, then climb back down.
我想我做不到。那就爬下去。
No, that doesn't seem any more likely. What's your plan, Cooper?
不行，更没可能了。你打算咋办库珀？
Well, it's not exactly a plan, but I think I'm going to pass out.
不能算是啥打算，我想我要晕菜了。
I'm sorry, can we please just do it one more time?
抱歉，咱再做一次行吗？
Okay. One, two, one, two, three, and... It's a little thing, but you really do miss it.
好的，一二，一二三...小事一件，但真是怀念啊。
Hello, everyone. I brought my new friend Barry Kripke home for dinner. Hello to you, too.
大家好。我带新朋友贝瑞?克里普柯回家吃饭了。你们也好啊。
How was rock climbing? He passed out. Just hung there like a big salami.
攀岩怎样？他晕过去了，跟个意大利腊肠一样吊在那。
Tha that hat's where I sit. Ooh, you have a special spot? What kind of wacko are you?
那那那是我的座。你还有固定座位呢？咋这么怪呢？
How much time you got? You want some Chinese food? Terrific. Got any dental floss? In the bathroom.
看你能忍多久。来点中餐？太好了，有牙线没？在洗手间。
Be right back. I got to floss the Indian food out of my teeth if I'm gonna eat Chinese.
马上回来。吃中餐前要先把牙里的印度菜弄出来。
Sheldon, are you okay? Oh, yes, I pass out all the time, but it was worth it.
谢尔顿，还好吗？哦好呀，全晕过去了，但值了。
I've made substantial progress in bonding with Kripke, which brings me to an awkward moment.
我和克里普柯的友情有了质的进展，但这也产生了一个尴尬的问题。
What's that? Maintaing five friendships promises to be a Herculean task, so...I'm going to have to let one of you go.
那是什么？维持五个朋友的友情太难了，所以我要开除你们其中一个。
Me, me, let it be me.
我我，选我吧。
Leonard, you are my roommate, my source of transportation, and you help me fold my sheets when they come out of the dryer. You are safe.
兰纳德，你是我的室友，我的出行工具，床单烘干后你会为我叠好。你安全了。
Can I whistle? Don't be silly.
能吹口哨不？别犯傻。
Howard, you do not have a PhD; your cologne is an assault on the senses; and you're not available for video games during the Jewish high holidays.
霍华德，你没有博士学位，你的古龙水刺激感官，犹太重大节日期间你不能参与电子游戏。
Guilty as charged. I'm out. No. You too are safe. Oh, come on. What do I have to do?
我有罪啊，我淘汰了。不，你也安全。哦不是吧，我该怎么做呀？
Okay, you know what? I see where this is going. I'm not one of you guys. I'm not a scientist, so just tell me...
好了，我知道怎么个意思了，我不属于你们中的一员，我也不是科学家，直接告诉我...
Penny, Penny, Penny, everything you're saying is true, but please allow me to continue.
佩妮，佩妮，佩妮，你说的都对，但请听我说完，
Raj, you're out. That's a good question.
拉杰你被淘汰了。问的好。
While you do provide a certain cultural diversity to an otherwise homogenous group, your responses to the questionnaire were truly disturbing.
你的确为这个同类的小团体注入了异域的文化，但你问卷的回答太闹心了。
How could you for a moment think that my favorite amino acid is glutamine?
你怎么会觉得我最喜欢的氨基酸是谷氨酰胺？
He had lysine, but changed it. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, Raj.
他写了赖氨酸又改了。早干啥了拉杰。
I like to floss before I eat so my gum pockets are open for new food.
我喜欢在吃东西前打牙线，以便牙缝迎接新的食物。
Hello! How did I walk past you? I'm Barry.
你好啊！我以前怎会没注意到你？我是贝瑞。
Penny. Eh, that's not a very hot name. I'm going to call you Roxanne. Ooh, pot stickers.
佩妮。呃，这名字不咋性感嘛。我要叫你洛希娜。哦，锅贴。
Suddenly, I'm looking pretty good, huh?
是不是突然间我变得如此优秀了？
So, Kripke, I was wondering if there's any chance you could get me some time on the open science grid computer?
克里普柯，我在想你能不能借我用用开放科学网格计算机呢？
No. No? But we're friends. I'm sorry. No, my friend.
不行。不行？我们是朋友啊。抱歉不行，我的盆友。
I'm confused. I was given to understand that you allow your friends time on the machine.
搞不懂了，我以为你会让朋友用那机器的。
No, that's wrong. There's an official schedule. I have no control over it.
不，不是那么回事，有正式安排的，我做不了主。
Well, this entire endeavor seems to have been an exercise in futility. Raj, you're back in. He likes monkeys.
看来整个尝试都是徒劳了。拉杰，你可以回来了。他喜欢猴子。
I gotta give him credit for sticking with it. I didn't think he had it in him. And he almost made it to the top this time.
我得表扬他的坚持精神。我看他是没那细胞。这次差点就到顶了啊。
