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Why hast thou forsaken me, O deity whose existence I doubt?
神啊 我一直怀疑你的存在 你为何抛弃我
Here. Breathe into this bag. What's going on?
拿着 往袋子里呼气 出什么事了
They stole everything, Leonard! Everything.
被他们扒得光光的啊 莱纳德 一点不剩
Are you the roommate?
你是他室友吗
Yeah, Leonard Hofstadter. What happened?
对 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 怎么了
Your friend here called 911 to report a robbery.
你朋友报警说自己被盗了
Oh, my God, what did they get?
哦天呐 他们偷走了啥
What didn't they get? They got my enchanted weapons, my vicious gladiator armor, my wand of untainted power, and all my gold!
你该问他们没偷走啥 偷走了我的附魔武器 我的邪恶角斗士盔甲 我的纯净力量之杖 还有全部的金币
You called the police because someone hacked your World of Warcraft account?
你居然就因为有人黑掉了你的魔兽世界账号就报警了
What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern kingdoms, has been picked clean, like a carcass in the desert sun. Plus, the FBI hung up on me.
我还能怎么办 谢耳朵大侠 85级的血精灵 东部王国的英雄像烈日下的尸骸一样被扒光了 另外 联邦调查局挂了我的电话
Into the bag.
往袋子里呼吸
They took my battle ostrich!
他们还偷走了我的作战陆行鸟
Oh, no, not Glenn!
哦不会吧 别偷格兰啊
Yes! Glenn! The only bird I ever loved.
是啊 格兰 我唯一深爱的鸟啊
Good luck, fellas.
保重了各位
Oh. Well, thank you, officer.
谢谢你 警官
Wait a minute! You're not going to do anything?
等一等 你难道就这么放任不管吗
Mr. Cooper, there's nothing...
库珀先生 我无能...
Dr. Cooper.
是库珀博士
Seriously?
不是开玩笑吧
Not the kind with access to drugs.
他不是那种贩毒的博士
Fine. Dr. Cooper. I'm sorry for your loss, but the Pasadena Police Department doesn't have jurisdiction in... Pandora.
好吧 库珀博士 我对你的损失深表遗憾 但帕萨迪纳警局的管辖权并不在 潘多拉
That's from Avatar, World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth. Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun? Can you at least refer me to a rogue ex-cop?
你说的那是《阿凡达》，魔兽世界可是在艾泽拉斯啊 我的亲娘七舅老爷 你是怎么有资格配枪的 你起码能给我推荐一位被开除的警察吧
What?
什么
Wh—you know, one who was drummed off the force because he refused to play by the rules, and now he hires himself out to impose his own brand of rough justice?
就是 那种因为拒绝墨守陈规而被开除的警察 现在致力于用自己的残酷方式伸张正义
No. Thank you, officer.
没有 多谢了 警官
It's all gone. All gone.
全没了 全没了啊
I'm really sorry, Sheldon.
我真的很遗憾 谢尔顿
What kind of world do we live in, where a man would take another man's battle ostrich?
这是个什么世道啊 一个人可以随便抢走另一个人的作战陆行鸟
I don't know.
我不知道
This act of aggression must be met with swift and cruel ferocity. It is time to cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.
这种野蛮行径必须以牙还牙以血还血 大声疾呼的时刻到了 让我们释放战争恶魔吧
I'm on it. Hi, Mrs. Wolowitz. Is, is Howard there? Okay, thanks. That particular dog of war will have to call you back after his bath.
我这就去你好 沃罗威茨夫人 霍华德在家吗 好的 谢谢 那只战争恶魔会在洗完澡以后回你电话
See if Raj is done with Pilates.
我看看拉杰有没有练完普拉提
Three thousand hours. Three thousand hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.
三千个小时 点了三千个小时的鼠标啊 就为了收集武器和金币 差一点就全是浪费时间了
Whoever did this knew what they were doing. He got in and out of your account in under 15 minutes, transferred all your stuff, and didn't leave a digital fingerprint.
不管是谁干的 他肯定早有准备 他在15分钟内登入登出了你的账号 其间弄走了你的全部物品而且还没留下一丝的电子指纹
Oh! There isn't enough chamomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.
噢 即使饮尽全世界的黄春菊茶（能稳定情绪）也不能平息我心中的怒火
Hold on. I'm talking to an orc under the bridge in Thunder Bluff who says if we pay him, he'll help us track down your things.
等下 我在雷霆崖的桥下跟一位兽人聊天 他说只要我们肯出钱 他能帮我们找到你的东西
Can we trust him?
他可信吗
I should say so; he appears to be a member of the Nigerian royal family.
我觉得挺可信的 他似乎是尼日利亚的一位皇室成员
Whoa! Somebody's auctioning off a jeweled ostrich bridle!
哇 有人在拍卖一个镶了宝石陆行鸟缰绳
No. Glenn's was leather. He was a simple ostrich.
不是 格兰的缰绳是皮革的 他以前是只很平凡的陆行鸟
Is! Is, I haven't given up hope.
现在也是 现在也是 我还没放弃希望
Hey.
嗨
Hey, Penny. We're kind of in the middle of a crisis, here.
嗨 佩妮 我们现在正忙着处理些麻烦事
Oh, I know. Bernadette told me. Sorry, Sheldon. I know that game meant a lot to you.
我知道 伯纳黛特告诉我了 不好意思啊谢尔顿 我知道那个游戏对你来说意义非凡
What—"that game"? Excuse me, Penny, but Doodle Jump is a game. Angry Birds is a game. World of Warcraft is a massively multi-player online role-playing... all right, technically it's a game.
神马“那个游戏” 很抱歉佩妮 涂鸦跳跃是个游戏 愤怒的小鸟也是个游戏 魔兽世界是一款大规模 多玩家的在线角色扮演 好吧 严格来讲 也算是游戏
Bad news, the Nigerian prince may be a fraud.
坏消息 那个尼日利亚王子可能是个骗子
Okay, well, anyways, I brought you a day-old cheesecake to cheer you up!
好吧 总而言之 我带了个昨天出炉的芝士蛋糕来安慰你
Stale pastry is hollow succor to a man who is bereft of ostrich.
对一个失去陆行鸟的人来说 一个不新鲜的蛋糕顶毛用呀
Just say "thank you".
说“谢谢”就好了
I thought I just did.
我刚才说的不就是这意思嘛
All right. See you later.
好吧 回见
Oh! Hello.
你好
Oh, hi!
你好呀
I was just dropping off a cheesecake to Sheldon. He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that's useful in a make-believe place.
我只是来送个芝士蛋糕给谢尔顿 他被抢劫了 丢了一堆虚拟世界里才用得上的那些虚拟破烂儿
I don't know what that means.
我没听懂
Yeah, well, sadly, I do.
很可惜 我听得懂
Did you know last weekend Priya took Leonard rollerblading at the beach?
你们知道上周末普丽娅带莱纳德去海滩玩轮滑吗
Can you believe that?
你们能相信吗
I feel like I'm supposed to say "that bitch", but I don't have enough information.
我觉得我应该说“那个臭婊子” 但我又不太了解状况
I am the one who spent two years trying to get him to even go to the beach in the first place. And he was so phobic about stepping on medical waste, I had to carry him to the water.
我才是那个花了两年时间努力说服他去沙滩的那个人 而且他超怕踩到医疗垃圾 怕到我得背着他下水
I took Howard to the beach once. He almost burst into flames like a vampire.
我也带霍华德去过一次海滩 他差点像个吸血鬼一样着起火来
So what's the thanks I get for turning Leonard into quality boyfriend material? I have to tiptoe around his new girlfriend.
我费了那么大劲把莱纳德改造成一个超级无敌好男友 可结果我得到了什么 我在他女朋友面前还得处处谨小慎微
I think you're on.
你该说那句话了
That bitch!
那个臭婊子
Want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?
雪糕上要不要加点咖啡利口酒
Ah, here's the alcohol and drug peer pressure mother warned me about. I was starting to think it was never going to happen. Yes, please.
这就是我妈警告过我的那种同辈人会教唆我喝酒和嗑药的情景 我还以为永远不会有这么一天呢 我要 谢谢
You guys should've seen Leonard when I first met him. There was no eye contact. He was either looking up at the ceiling, or down at his shoes.
你们真应该见识一下我最初认识的莱纳德 他都不敢跟人有眼神交流 他不是抬头看天花板就是低头看他的鞋
I'm drunk.
我醉了
You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say, "Oh, boy, my breast friends"!
刚开始的几个月 每次我脱掉胸衣 他都会傻笑着说 天啊 我最胸的朋友
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm never speaking to Priya again.
不知道我这么说你会不会好受点 但我以后再也不会理普丽娅了
No, don't do that. No reason to be mean to her.
不 别这样 咱也没理由欺负她呀
This may be the alcohol talking... but I believe there is. Are you familiar with the recent study of Tanzanian chimpanzees by Nishida and Hosaka out of Kyoto University?
这也许是醉话 但我觉得咱还真有理由欺负她 你有没有听说过京都大学的西田和保坂最近做的一项关于坦桑尼亚黑猩猩的研究
No, but I can name all the Kardashians.
没有 但我可以叫出所有卡戴珊姐妹的名字
Primates, such as ourselves, have a natural instinct to ostracize ill-mannered members of the troop. Bernadette's urge to shun, scowl or fling her waste at Priya is hard-wired into her DNA.
像咱们这种灵长类动物 天生就会排斥族群里不守规矩的成员 伯纳黛特想要躲避 发怒 或是用排泄物扔普丽娅的冲动是与生俱来的
I don't have an urge to fling my waste.
我没有扔自己排泄物的冲动
Believe me, it's there, we all have it. Hit me with some more booze, and I'll show you.
相信我 你有的 每个人都有 再给我来点酒我就示范给你看
All right, here we are—this is the tavern where all the black-market weapon trades go down.
好了 我们到了 这就是进行所有黑市武器交易的小酒馆
I don't think my character should be in a place like this. Everyone's undressing her with their eyes.
我觉得我的角色不应该来这种地方 大家都盯着她开始意淫
Maybe if you stop dropping your sword and bending over to pick it up.
要是你不老是把剑掉到地上然后再弯腰去捡的话 也许就不会这样了
Okay, what exactly are we looking for?
好吧 我们到底要找什么
Redheaded troll, goes by the name of Glumly. According to the message boards, if you want to move stolen goods and it's after school hours, he's your guy.
一个叫“忧郁”的红发巨魔 据留言板上的消息说 如果你想在深更半夜转移偷来的东西的话 找他就对了
Leonard, is this going to take much longer? I thought we were going to spend some time together.
莱纳德 你还要弄很久吗 你不是说要过二人世界嘛
Uh, we are. In the meantime, you're welcome to whip up a quick character and join us.
我在陪你呀 而且你也可以建个新人物然后跟我们一块玩呀
Seriously?
你说笑呢
Well, you have to put in a credit card number, but it's fun.
好吧 你得先输入信用卡号码 不过真挺好玩的
Maybe I should just go home.
也许我该回家了
Our troll just walked in! I got him!
巨魔来了 我跟上去了
We got him. We're almost done.
我们找到他了 就快搞掂了
So, how do you guys want to play this?
那么你们打算怎么办
Be ruthless. You tell him if he doesn't start talking, we'll register a complaint with his Internet service provider.
狠狠教训他 你跟他说如果他不从实招来的话 我们就向他的网络供应商做出正式投诉
Sheldon,what if he gets his Internet from his cable company? He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming.
谢尔顿 要是他是从有线电视公司连接互联网的怎么办 他会失去他的HBO有线电视和所有好看的原创电视节目
I don't care! I'm losin' it, man!
我不管 我丢东西了 伙计
Why don't we play this smart? Try a little "good goblin, bad goblin."
我们不如玩得聪明点 试试“好妖精 坏妖精”
Oh, dear Lord.
神啊
Nah, I think we have to be more subtle.
不 我觉得我们得更狡猾些
Okay, I see where this is going. Fine, I'll have sex with him.
好了 我知道你们的意思了 好吧 我会跟他做爱
That's not where it was going.
我们不是那个意思
Good, because I would hate that.
太好了 因为我很讨厌那样
Leonard, you're busy—let's talk tomorrow.
莱纳德 你这么忙 我们明天再说吧
Oh, wait. Hang on. Are you upset?
等等 再等一会 你不高兴了吗
No, no, I think it's sexy to date a boy trapped in a man's body.
不不 我觉得跟一个男人身男孩心的人约会很性感
Good, good. I'll tell you what happens. He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming.
太好了 我会告诉你进展的 大家都还觉得我听不出讽刺呢
Well, well, well. Look who it is.
哇 哇 哇 看我们碰上谁了
Okay, be nice.
好的 友好些
Hello.
你好
Hi. We're just heading out for a drink. Because I do that now.
嗨 我们刚准备出去喝一杯 因为我现在会喝酒了
Count your blessings you're not a Tanzanian chimp.
知足吧 你不是只坦桑尼亚猩猩
What?
什么
Don't listen to her—she's had a lot of ice cream.
别听她的 她冰激凌吃多了
Do you want to join us?
你想一起来吗
Oh, thank you, but I have work to do.
谢谢 但是我得工作
Four women walk down the stairs—how many reach the lobby?
四个女人走下楼 几个人能到大厅
Did your sister say anything when you got home last night?
你昨晚回家时 你妹妹说什么了吗
Oh, no, don't put me in the middle of this. I'm not going to be your go-between.
不要 别把我扯进来 我可不当你的中间人
Come on, help me out. Am I in trouble?
拜托 帮帮我 我有麻烦吗
There's no reason to worry.
不需要担心
That's a relief.
我放心多了
I'm sure many women in happy relationships spend their nights skyping with their ex-boyfriend Sanjay.
我肯定很多在幸福关系中的女人会跟她们的前男友“山鸡”视频聊天来度过漫漫长夜
Good news, gentlemen—I found our hacker.
好消息 同志们 我找到那个黑客了
What? Really?
什么 真的
Yeah. No one can hide from me, not Waldo, not Carmen San Diego, not even topless Natalie Portman.
对 没人能逃得出我的手掌心 瓦尔多不行 卡门圣迭戈不行 娜塔莉·波特曼的裸照也不行
I've never said these words before, but good job, Howard!
我以前从没说过这话 干得不错 霍华德
Thanks. Our culprit is one Mr. Todd Zarnecki, 2711 Ocean View Road, Carlsbad, California.
谢谢 我们的罪犯是托德·札内基 加利福尼亚州卡尔斯拜德海景路2711号
The name and the address drip with evil.
这名字和地址都渗着邪恶的气息
What else do we know about him?
我们还知道什么
Why, quite a bit, actually. I'll bet he's some loser who lives with his parents.
还有很多 其实我打赌他是一个跟父母一起住的失败者
Yes, he does live with his parents. Here's a Google Earth shot of their house.
对 他确实跟父母一起住 这是他们家的谷歌地图照片
Excellent! It's in a cul-de-sac. We can box him in.
太好了 在死胡同里 我们可以把他包饺子
