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Try to keep up, Howard! I'm killing it!
跟上舞步啊，霍华德。哥舞力全开呢
Yeah, I wish we looked as cool dancing in clubs as we do right now.
真希望我们在舞厅跳舞时跟现在一样帅
Don't worry, this is exactly how you look when you're dancing in clubs.
别担心，你们在舞厅跳舞时就是你们现在这副样
You're welcome, ladies. Paradigmshifting news, gentlemen! Dude!
女士们，不用谢。超大新闻啊，男士们。兄弟
I was about to Bollywood this bitch.
我正要上前舞翻那骚妞呢
Earlier today, I invited Professor Stephen Hawking to join me in the popular online game Words with Friends.
早先我邀请了史蒂芬?霍金教授与我玩风靡网络的小游戏《填字游戏》跨平台的知名线上填字游戏游戏名字还有 与朋友谈话/吵架填字的意思
Moments ago, he accepted my request.
他刚刚同意了我的游戏邀请
Do you understand what that means?
你们知道这代表什么意思吗
That somewhere right now Stephen Hawking is saying, "Damn it.
霍金教授正在地球上的某处说着"靠
I meant to click no." I'll walk you through it.
我本来是要按拒绝的"我来解释给你们听吧
The game is not called Words with Strangers.
这游戏可不是叫"与陌生人玩填字"
No, it's not even called Words with Acquaintances.
也不是叫"与相识的人玩填字"
It is called Words with... I'm not finishing your sentence.
而是叫"与...我才不接你的话
You pulled the plug on my funk. Friends!
哥舞翻全场时，你居然关我游戏"与朋友"
It's Words with Friends!
是"与朋友玩填字"游戏
Which Stephen Hawking and I officially are.
代表着我与霍金正式成为朋友了
Now all I need is a bunk bed with a slide; I'll have everything I've ever wanted since I was six years old.
只要再拥有个双层床与溜滑梯我六岁时就许下的愿望就全都圆满了
That's really nice, Sheldon. I'm happy for you.
谢尔顿，那挺好啊。我也替你开心
And I'm happy for you, too.
我也替你开心
You are now friends with someone who is officially friends with Stephen Hawking.
因为你现在成了史蒂芬?霍金朋友的朋友
Enjoy it, boys. You may have peaked.
慢慢乐吧，同志们。可能是你们人生的最高点啊
Sheldon, I know Stephen Hawking. I worked with him.
谢尔顿 我也认识史蒂芬?霍金。我与他共事过
And if they ever come out with a game called Words with People You Once Worked with, you'll be off to the races.
等哪天出了款"与曾共事过的人玩填字"的游戏才轮你上场
Sheldon, I don't think this actually means... Hold that thought!
谢尔顿 玩个游戏也不代表...话别说太早
Professor Hawking has made a move. Boy, oh boy.
"霍金教授下了一步"哎哟妈呀
Oh, it's only a matter of time before we're coming up with fun nicknames for each other.
要不了多久我们俩就会开始互取好玩绰号了
I'll be Coop. He'll be Wheels.
他喊我"鸡笼弟"库伯Cooper的coop也有笼子鸡笼的意思。我叫他"轮子哥"
If he's okay with that. All right.
前提是他不介意的话啦？好的
Crank up the AC, boy! It's gonna get hot in here!
开大空调吧！哥要热翻全场啦！
So, I was taking a shower this morning, and when I got out, I started to dry off with what I thought was a towel but turned out to be Howard's mom's underwear.
今早我洗了个澡洗完出来 就拿起了旁边看似浴巾的东西擦身子结果发现那是霍华德他妈的内裤
I had to take another shower.
害我得重洗了一次澡
It wasn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough.
但洗了也没用洗得了身子 洗不去创伤
I once looked in Sheldon's underwear drawer.
有一次我瞧了谢尔顿的内裤抽屉
He yelled at me.
被他骂了
But now I know what it looks like and he can never take that away.
但那份内裤的记忆将永存我心他收不回也抢不走
There's a book under here.
这下面有本书呢
Oh, I'll get that.
我自己捡吧
I got it. I got it. No, no, it's...
不用。我捡到了。别，那是...
Why do you have a history textbook? It's not a big deal.
你怎么会有一本历史课本啊？没什么啦
Just taking a class at the Pasadena Community College.
我就去了帕萨迪纳社区大学上课嘛
That's great. I didn't know you wanted to go back to school.
这很好啊。我都不知道你还想再读书
It's just one history class.
只是上个历史课啦
Look, I didn't finish college, so I thought I would give it a try.
当年没读完大学就想说再试一下
Not to mention, your acting career is going south like Sherman.
反正你的演艺事业也如同佘曼将军 一路向南失败威廉?特库姆塞?佘曼美国南北战争中的北部联邦军将领
Read about it in your book.
翻你的历史课本就懂了
Why would you be embarrassed to tell us?
为什么不好意思告诉我们呢
No, I'm not embarrassed. I just didn't want anyone to know because I haven't told Leonard yet.
不是的 我是不想让任何人知道我还没告诉莱纳德嘛
Why wouldn't you tell Leonard?
那你为什么不告诉他呢
Because it's me going back to school, and he's gonna be all "You can do it," and "How can I help?" and "I'm so proud of you."
他听到他女朋友重回学校肯定会说"你行的" "我怎么帮你呢"以及"我超以你为荣"
I just can't believe you could keep something like that from him.
真不敢相信这么大的事情，你居然瞒着他
You guys have got to be the weirdest couple I know. Really?
你们绝对是我认识最怪的一对情侣了，是吗
You can't think of anyone weirder?
你想不到更怪的了吗
I can, but she's sitting right there. Yes!
可以啊不过那人就坐在那里呢？很好
I play the word "Quiver" with a triple letter and a double word score for 72 points.
我拼Quiver箭袋配合一个3倍加成以及一个2倍加成得72分
That ought to let the air out of your tires, Hawking.
把你的轮椅胎给打爆了吧 霍金
Wow, my boyfriend is friends with Stephen Hawking and my new dandruff shampoo doesn't smell like tar.
我的男朋友与史蒂芬·霍金是朋友我的新去屑洗发水味道也不是柏油味
Everything really is coming up, Amy.
真是守得云开见月明了啊 艾米
It is glorious.
的确挺光荣
One of the greatest intellects of our time has agreed to engage with me in a gentlemanly battle of wits.
当代最具智慧的人之一同意与我进行智力上的君子之争
And I'm spanking him so hard his grad students won't be able to sit down.
而且我还虐翻了他估计他带的研究生也要被他虐翻了
You know, when one male dominates another, his testosterone level rises.
当一名男性彻底压制另一男性时他的睾丸酮会上升
What's your point?
说这个干嘛
It's exciting to think you might be getting a testosterone level.
想到你会有睾丸酮就兴奋嘛
My friend Stephen just played the word "Act" for 18 points.
我的好友史蒂芬拼了Act行动得18分
That's right, I call him Stephen now.
是的 我现在直呼他名字
Because I checked, and he was not okay with Wheels.
我问过他了 他不接受"轮子哥"的绰号
Oh, you could turn his "Act" into "Extract," and it would be for double points. Amy.
你可以把他的Act连成Extract提取这样的话分能加倍。艾米
Why would you give me a word?
你干嘛直接告诉我一个答案呢
Now, if I play "Extract," it would be cheating. Sorry.
如果我拼了这个字，我就是作弊。抱歉
Ethical conundrum avoided. Thanks, brain. Spaghetti okay?
成功避免道德难题，谢谢你，大脑。意大利面好吃吗？
It's crunchy. Just the way I like it.
很"脆"我就爱这样的
Yeah, I don't think the water was really boiling.
好啦 那水我也觉得没烧开
It's great. I love it.
挺好的 我很喜欢啦
Okay, listen, there's something I need to tell you.
听着 我有事情要告诉你
I've been thinking about going back to school for a while now.
我考虑重返校园有一段时间了
So a couple months ago, I started taking a history class at the community college.
所以一个月前我在一家社区大学报读了历史课
That's great! Great, great, great!
这真是太棒了 棒极了 超棒的
Why wait so long to tell me?
干嘛拖这么久才告诉我呢
I don't want you to make a big deal out of it.
因为我不想你小题大作
Why do you think I'd be like that?
你为什么会这样想我呢
I get it, you're taking one class. It's nice.
我懂 你报了一门课 很好啊
Maybe if it goes well, you take another, you enroll fulltime.
如果一切顺利可以再报一门然后变成全日制学生
Ooh, be sure to keep an eye on which credits transfer to a fouryear college.
对了，记得注意下哪些学分是能转修成四年制大学的
You're making it a big deal.
你现在就是在小题大作
Sorry. Whatever. It's all good.
抱歉，那随便吧。都好
Anyway, that's it. I just thought you should know.
总之，就是这样。我就觉得该知会你一声
Am I allowed to ask how the class is going? It's really good.
我能问问课上得怎么样吗？相当不错
We've been talking about the origins of slavery.
我们在学有关奴隶的起源
Turn in my first paper tomorrow.
明天就要上交我第一篇论文
Great topic. I can help with that.
好主题 我可以帮你
There are lots of different perspectives you can take: economic, sociological, political...
你可以从很多不同的观点来论述比如经济，社会，政治
Hey, this is my paper. And my perspective is that slavery is bad.
喂，这是我的论文。我的观点就是奴隶是坏事
Oh, and my professor's black, so I'm pretty sure that's the right answer.
我的教授是黑人所以我确信这就是正确的答案
Can I take a look? No, Leonard, this is my thing.
我能看看吗？不行！莱纳德，这是我的东西
Okay, I get it. Thank you.
好吧！我知道了。多谢理解
It's like when I started doing chinups; I didn't want you to see until I could do one.
这像我开始练引体向上时做不到一个前，我都没脸让你看
FYI, really close. Thank you.
顺便说一声，差点就成功了。谢谢
Now behave yourself and eat your dinner.
现在给我乖乖地吃饭
Maybe later, if you're lucky, you get to sleep with a college girl. Really?
晚点，运气好的话你或许可以跟一个大学生上床哟？真的吗
'Cause I went to four years of college and five years of grad school, that never happened once.
我念了四年大学、五年研究生院 这种好事一次都没发生过
I think the next time I have to speak to a call center in India,
下次我跟在印度的客服中心讲话时
I'm going to try using an American accent. Why?
我要试着用美国口语。为什么？
Because when I use my regular voice, I feel like I'm making fun of them.
因为用正常声音说话我会觉得我好像在逗他们玩
That's ridiculous. Not to mention, your American accent is terrible.
这理由太可笑了吧。而且你的美国口音烂死了
Dude, my accent is brilliant.
伙计 我的口音超棒的
Hey, my snowwhite American friends, let's put some cow meat on the barbecue and eat it until we're all obese.
我白皮肤的美国朋友们让我们把牛肉放上烤肉架然后猛吃 直到吃成死胖子
This is what you sound like.
你其实是像这样
I think I'm talking in an American accent, but it really sounds like I'm wearing a set of giant dentures.
我觉得我在用美国口音说话但听起来却是我正戴着一副不合嘴的假牙说话
Sheldon, do I really sound like that? Tell him he sounds like that.
谢尔顿 我听起来真的像那样吗？告诉他就是那样
Sheldon, you okay? It's been three days.
谢尔顿，你没事吧？这都三天了
Why hasn't Stephen Hawking played a word?
为什么史蒂芬?霍金还没拼一个字
The guy's a genius. Maybe you weren't challenging enough for him.
那家伙是天才，或许你对他来说，挑战性不够。
Not challenging? I was humiliating the man.
不够挑战性，我把他虐爆了好吗
I was thinking of writing a book called A Brief History of the Time I Made Stephen Hawking Cry Like a Little Girl.
我还在想出一本书 名叫《时间简史之《时间简史》的作者为霍金本人我让史蒂芬?霍金痛哭流涕》
There's the problem. You can't beat Hawking like that. He hates to lose.
这就是问题所在。你不能这样打败霍金。他讨厌输
Everyone knows the guy's a big baby.
大家都知道他脾气跟小孩一样
I mean, forget the wheelchair, he should be in a stroller. Really?
他不应该坐轮椅他应该坐婴儿车才对，真的吗？
One time when I was working with him, he said that Johnny Depp was in The Matrix.
有次我跟他共事时他说强尼?戴普有参演《黑客帝国》
I told him he was wrong, but he kept insisting.
我告诉他记错了 可他仍死命坚持
So I looked it up online and showed him.
于是我把再网上查出来的结果给他看
Well, the next day, he had a pizza party, and everyone got invited but me.
然后第二天他举办了个披萨派对大家都被邀请了唯独我没有
And then he was all, "Your invitation must have gotten lost in the matrix."
然后他就说"可能你的邀请函丢在母体里了吧"
Good Lord, what have I done?
上帝啊，我都做了什么啊？
Good Lord, what have I done? Terrible.
上帝啊，我都做了什么啊。烂死了
All right, hotshot, let's hear your Indian.
好吧 高手 那你说印度口音试试
I can't sit on that elephant, my ass is on fire from eating all this curry.
我不能坐上那头大象因为吃了咖喱 我火烧火燎地想拉肚子
