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Wow, excuse me.
哎哟，我先告辞了
That was just for her benefit.
那话只是冲她说的
I'll move tomorrow. I love you. Don't leave me. Amy. Amy. Angry Amy. What?
我明天就搬。我爱你，别离开我。艾米，艾米，愤怒的艾米。有何贵干
I've been thinking about what happened, and I hope this gift will make things better.
我考虑了一下之前发生的事我希望这个礼物能让事态缓和点
Star Trek DVDs? Why would I want this?
《星际迷航》系列DVD。我为何需要这个
First of all, you're welcome.
首先，不客气
Furthermore, not being familiar with Wil Wheaton's body of work there was no way for you to know you were being rude to a national treasure.
再者，如果你不熟悉威尔·惠顿的作品你就不可能意识到你曾对这样的一位国家瑰宝出言不逊
Get ready for 130 hours of "I told you so." Fine. I'll just tell you what happens.
准备迎接130小时的"早知道就听你"的吧。好吧，由我来告诉你都演了些什么
Episode one, "Encounter at Farpoint." Fade in.
第一集《远点遭遇战》缓缓驶入
The new Enterprise heads out on its maiden voyage to contact the Bandi people of Deneb IV.
新进取号踏上了搜寻戴纳伯四号星球居住的班迪人之处女航行
Enter Wesley Crusher, played by my buddy... She's hooked.
卫斯理·克拉希尔登场了，扮演者是我兄弟...她要爱不释手了
An end of an era. Boy, if these walls could talk.
一个时代的终结啊，唉，真希望这些墙能诉说衷肠
They'd say, "Why does he touch himself so much?" Yeah.
那这些墙会说"为何他这么喜欢自摸"是啊
I can't believe I'm not going to live here anymore.
真不敢相信今后将不住这里了
This has always been my bedroom.
这里一直都是我的卧室
Right here is where my mom used to mark my height.
那里就是我妈以前测量我身高的地方
Oh, yeah. Fifth grade. Sixth grade. Seventh grade. Eighth grade. Ninth grade.
真的哎。五年级时的身高。六年级时的身高，七年级时的身高，八年级时的身高，九年级时的身高
I remember when I was five, hiding under this desk with all my Halloween candy.
我还记得我五岁那年拿着我的万圣节糖果躲在这个桌子下面
Had some Peanut M&M'S, went into my first anaphylactic shock and had to be rushed to the hospital.
吃了一些M&M花生糖豆迎来了我第一次过敏性休克然后被送去医院
Came home, celebrated with a Snickers, went into my second anaphylactic shock.
回到家后 吃花生士力架来欢庆康复紧接着又迎来第二次过敏性休克
When did you figure out you were allergic to nuts?
你什么时候发现对坚果过敏的
Sometime around the third Almond Joy. Okay.
大概在第三次吃杏仁巧克力时吧。好吧
You want to start loading this stuff into the truck?
要开始把这些东西搬上货车吗
Yeah, I guess. Hey, would you do me a favor? Go on ahead.
好，搬吧。能帮我个忙吗？你们先走
I just want one last moment alone in my old room.
我只想在旧居里再独享这最后一刻
We're not standing outside by the UHaul while you fondle yourself.
我们才不要站在搬家货车边上等着你在这自摸爽完一发
Fine, let's go. What brings you in?
好吧，一起走吧。什么风把你吹来了
Penny, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to have a conversation about girls.
佩妮，如果你不介意我想跟你谈谈女生
I had a feeling we'd have a talk like this sooner or later.
我早预感到我们迟早会聊到的
Are you finally getting fuzz in weird places?
你某个奇怪的地方终于长毛了吗
Penny, please, I'm on the horns of a relationship dilemma.
佩妮，拜托。我现在进退两难
And for the record, I had a full pubis of hair by the time I was 19.
同时声明我到19岁那年就已经长完了浓密的阴毛
And for the record... So what are you drinking?
同时我也声明...你打算喝点什么
Well, it's been a rough day.
今天超不顺
I usually go chamomile tea, but I don't think that's going to cut it.
我通常喝甘菊茶但我觉得喝那个没用了
You could have a Long Island Iced Tea.
你可以来一杯长岛冰茶呀
Will that calm my nerves?
那个能舒缓我的神经吗
It's calmed the pants off me a couple of times. Sold.
好几次把我舒缓到裤子都"没了"来一杯
So, the heart you got from the wizard giving you trouble?
你那巫师得来的心脏让你陷入麻烦了吗
The trouble isn't with me, Penny, it's with your gender.
问题不在我这，佩妮而在你们女人身上
Someday, scientists will discover that second X chromosome contains nothing but nonsense and twaddle.
总有一天，科学家们会发现女性的第二条X染色体除了胡说和废话之外 其他一无所有
Yeah, Amy told me what happened.
是啊，艾米告诉我发生了什么事
Look, just apologize. It'll warm her twaddle.
听着，道歉就行它会融解她的废话
It's a bandaid at best.
那顶多治标不治本
The core problem is that Amy and Wil do not like each other.
核心问题在于艾米和威尔互相讨厌
Which is baffling because they're both crazy about me.
这点很莫名其妙 因为他们都为我痴狂
And I like them, which indicates they're bright and interesting and/or were on Star Trek.
我也喜欢他们俩这表明他们是聪明人 并且还喜欢或曾演过《星际迷航》
Honey, you can't make people like each other. Not true.
亲爱的，你不能逼别人互相喜欢。非也
Leonard made me like you.
莱纳德让我喜欢你
And let me tell you, that was a hard row to hoe. Cheers, pal.
不瞒你说，这事可不容易啊。干杯吧，姐们
Boy, that is a treat that's hard to beat.
好家伙，这可真是一杯无与伦比的饮品
Get the Mad Hatter on the horn, I'm having a tea party.
快让疯帽先生来吧，我要开个茶话会（疯帽先生《爱丽丝梦游仙境》角色喜欢举办茶话会）
You might want to pace yourself.
你或许该慢慢喝
I drink tea all the time.
我常喝茶啦
I think I know what I'm doing.
我懂我在干嘛
Far be it from me to criticize a man with a full pubis.
我没资格批评一位长齐阴毛的人啊
Look, Sheldon, your problem is not Wil Wheaton, okay?
谢尔顿 问题不在威尔·惠顿这，好吗
Your problem is the way you treated Amy.
你的问题在于你对待艾米的方式
My problem is I'm out of tea.
我的问题是我的茶喝光了
Come on, someone insulted your girlfriend and you just let him do it.
拜托，有人对你女友出言不逊你却听之任之
I thought you Texas guys stood up for your womenfolk.
我还以为德州爷们会为女友挺身而出呢
Penny, please, I think I've evolved beyond my simple rustic upbringing. Sorry.
得了吧，佩妮，我可比头脑简单的乡野村夫有教养。抱歉
On the other hand, that lowdown polecat done wronged my woman.
不过话说回来那个卑鄙小人敢对我女人口出狂言
Welcome to Long Island, Tex. Amy deserves better.
"长岛"的酒劲上来了，德州仔，艾米不应该被这样对待
You know, when we buy the Planter's deluxe mix, she eats all the Brazil nuts so I don't have to look at them.
我们买绅士什锦果仁时她会帮我先吃光巴西坚果这样我就不用看到它们
She's a unique blend of saint and squirrel.
她是独一无二的圣人与松鼠结合体
Yeah, that she is. Here you go.
对，她是的。给你
I'm a callous egomaniac. She's gonna leave me. No, she won't.
我无情麻木又自我，她会离开我的，她不会的
No, she won't. I'm great.
对，她不会的。我这么棒的男人
Okay, I have now officially moved out of my mother's house.
好了，现在我正式搬出了我母亲大人的家
You are now the only woman in my life who I'll see naked in the bathroom.
现在我生活中唯一会在浴室撞见的裸女就剩你啦
I know this wasn't easy. You doing okay? Oh, I'm fine.
我知道这不容易。你还好吗？我没事
It's just her I'm worried about. Aw, she'll be okay.
我只是担心我妈。她不会有事的
She's a grown woman. I know.
她是成年人，我知道
It's just ever since my dad left, I've felt responsible for her.
只是我爸离开后我就觉得我对她有责任
That's a lot for a kid to deal with.
这对一个孩子来说责任太重了
She was just so sad all the time.
她总是很伤心
Yeah, I was the only person who could cheer her up.
我是唯一可以令她开心起来的人
Well, me and Ben and Jerry.
我还有"本与杰瑞"牌冰淇淋
She's lucky you were there.
她很幸运能有你的陪伴
You know, she's why I first got into magic.
因为她 我才学魔术的
I would do little shows for her, hang up a bedsheet like it was a curtain, put on a top hat and cape.
我会表演给她看挂上床单好像幕布一样戴上礼帽 穿上披风
And part way through the act, I would say I needed a volunteer from the audience to be my beautiful assistant and invite her up on stage.
表演中我会说我需要从观众中请一位志愿者做我美丽的助手邀请她上台
I can still remember the way she'd smile.
我依然记得她当时笑的样子
For a few minutes, she'd... forget how lonely she was.
在那短暂的几分钟里，她...忘了自己有多孤单
Aw, crap. Let's go. Where we going? Grab a box.
见鬼，走吧。去哪里？搬个箱子
We'll sleep at your mother's place tonight.
我们今晚睡你母亲家
No, but I want to live here.
可我想住在这里
Well, you should've thought of that before you told me the stupid magic trick story.
在你告诉我那个傻逼催泪魔术故事前就该想到这点了
Can't we talk about this?
我们不能谈谈吗
No husband of mine is gonna break his mother's heart! Wil Wheaton! Wil Wheaton!
我的老公决不允许伤他老娘的心。威尔·惠顿，威尔·惠顿
Wait, how many was that? Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
等等，敲了几下了？谢尔顿，什么事
Wouldn't you like to know?
你真的想知道吗
Have you been drinking? Just tea.
你喝酒了吗？只是喝了茶
The best tea I've ever had. Why are you here?
我这辈子喝过的最好喝的茶。你来干嘛？
I'll tell you. I'm from Texas. Need I say more?
我告诉你吧。我是德州仔。还需要我多说吗
Yeah, actually, a little more would be helpful.
是的，多说一点我比较明白
You insulted my woman.
你对我的女人出言不逊
I'm here to defend her honor. Two! It was two. Wil Wheaton!
我是来为她讨回公道的。两下！敲了两下。威尔·惠顿
Now prepare yourself for what may come.
现在准备好接受制裁吧
Oh, Sheldon, do you really think we're gonna fight?
谢尔顿，你不会真觉得我们会打起来吧
My fists are not up here because I'm milking a giant invisible cow.
我的拳头抬起来可不是给巨型隐形奶牛挤奶的
They're up to beat an apology out of you.
是要把道歉的话从你嘴里揍出来的
Okay, I'm sorry.
好的，对不起
Well, that was a long bus ride for not very much.
坐这么远的公车来可真不值啊
Are you okay? You're asking a lot of questions, Wil Wheaton.
你还好吗？你问的问题太多了，威尔·惠顿
As a matter of idle curiosity, which of your shrubberies do you feel would benefit from a thorough vomiting?
只是好奇问下你觉得你家哪片灌木丛可以被呕吐物施肥一下
Never mind, I'll choose. You were so good in Stand by Me.
算了，我自己选。你在《伴我同行》里的表演太精彩了惠顿1986年出演的电影
Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
大家好，我是谢尔顿·库珀博士
Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags.
欢迎收看谢尔顿·库珀出品的《有趣的旗帜》
Get ready for a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise, Star Trek.
这是非常特殊的一集我们将介绍热门影集《星际迷航》中的旗帜
And to help us, I'm pleased to introduce a special guest surprisingly, it only took gas money
我很荣幸请到这位来帮忙的特邀嘉宾出乎意料的只需要给点油钱
and the promise of free food to get him here Mr. LeVar Burton.
跟答应他有吃的就愿意来了勒瓦尔·伯特先生（曾出演过多部星际电影）
Hey, Sheldon, it's a pleasure to be here.
你好，谢尔顿，很荣幸来到这里
Well, we've got some interesting flags for...Cut!
有些很有意思的旗帜...停
Yikes, this guy is worse than Wil Wheaton.
妈呀 这家伙比威尔·惠顿还烂
I don't know what she's talking about, but I'm obligated to agree with her.
我不知道她在胡说什么但我有义务同意她的话
She's my girlfriend. Ah, I hear you, brother.
她是我的女朋友。明白，兄弟
I still get lunch, right?
我还是有免费午餐吃的，对吧？
