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So, after drinks with Bernadette, I get home, and Penny calls to complain about her.
和伯纳黛特喝了几杯后我刚到家，佩妮就打来电话抱怨伯纳黛特。
And then while I'm talking to Penny, I get a text from Bernadette.
我正和佩妮说着呢伯纳黛特又发来短信。
Wh...I'm trying to prepare my lesson plan for Howard.
我正为霍华德准备教学计划呢。
Why are you telling me this?
你干嘛告诉我这些废话？
Because it's taken 15 years, but high school is finally awesome!
因为虽然晚了15年，但高中生活终于开始精彩了！
I love them both, but I'm in the center now, and I love that even more.
虽然我爱她们俩，但现在我成了团体中心，我更爱这种感觉。
Amy, please. I am trying to figure out a way to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine.
艾米，拜托，我正努力寻找一种用智力阉割我好友的方法。
But I'm just...Not now.
可人家... 别烦我了。
You better watch that attitude, buddy. You're dating the popular girl now.
注意你的态度，老弟。你女朋友现在可是校园红人呢。
You're up late. Oh, I'm working on my lesson plan for Wolowitz.
你还没睡啊。我在为沃罗威茨量身定制教学计划。
He is going to be so lost. Look at this section over here.
保证他跟听天书一样。快看这部分内容。
Even I don't really understand it. Sheldon, why are you doing this?
连我都不懂是什么。谢尔顿，你为什么要这么做？
I'm a teacher, Leonard. It's my job.
我是一名教师，莱纳德。这是我的工作。
No, I I mean, why are you going to so much trouble to prove that you're smarter than Wolowitz?
不，我是说你为什么要费尽周折来证明你比沃罗威茨聪明呢？
Oh, it's no trouble; it's actually a pleasure.
完全不费劲，我高兴着呢。
You want to know what I think?
你知道我怎么想吗？
I think the idea that someone could be as smart as you, or even smarter, scares the pants off you, and you can't deal with it.
我觉得一想到某人可能和你一样聪明甚至比你聪明，你就怕得要死你接受不了这个事实。
Interesting point.
想法很有趣。
Wh...You're suggesting that I have emotional issues below my consciousness which drive my behavior, thus causing me to lash out at anything or anyone that threatens my intellectual superiority.
你是在暗示潜意识里我的情绪影响了我的行动，导致我大肆打击任何威胁到我智商优势的人或事吗。
Might be something to think about.
你好好思考一下吧。
Leonard? Yeah. Howard's allergic to peanuts. How can I use that against him?
莱纳德？什么。霍华德对花生过敏。我怎样才能用这个对付他？
Okay, now that everyone's here, we can begin.
既然大家都来齐了，我们可以上课了。
Before we do, I just talked to Leonard.
上课之前我要说，我刚和莱纳德谈过了。
And if you're gonna spend all your time trying to belittle me by making this class unnecessarily hard, then I'm out.
如果你准备刻意让这门课难到超乎常理以此来贬低我的智商的话，那我不上了。
But if you're interested in making a sincere effort to be a good teacher, then I'm willing to give this a shot.
但如果你真心想要做好一个老师，那我也愿意给你个机会。
I suppose that's a fair request.
这个提议很合理。
There's no reason we both can't benefit from this experience.
我们俩都可以从这件事里受益。
Okay. Okay. Well, then, uh, first things first.
好吧。就这样。那我们先上课。
Um, are you familiar with the Brachistochrone problem? I am. Good.
你对最速降线问题熟悉吗？很熟悉。很好。
And how it relates to the calculus of variations? It's an inverted cycloid. Wonderful.
那它和变分法之间的关系呢？是一条翻转摆线。不错，不错。
Now, what about EulerLagrange theorems?
那么，你了解欧拉拉格朗日定理吗？
That's where I'm a little fuzzy. Ha! I knew it! All right.
这我就有点小困惑了。我就知道，好了。
We have a lot of information to cover before your first test.Which, by the way, is in eight minutes.
在第一次考试前，我们需要大量补充这方面的知识。对了，考试就在8分钟之后。
The good news is I'm grading on a curve, so you're pretty much guaranteed a C.
好消息是我的评分标准是看你画的曲线，所以你卷子上肯定有个"C"。
"All I do is win, win, win. No matter what" What are you doing?
老子这辈子只想赢。无论如何。你这是在干什么？
Everybody hands go up, up...And they stay there!
大家一起高举双手...保持别动！
What are you doing?
你在干什么？
If you're gonna be a crappy teacher, then I'm gonna be a crappy student.
如果你要当个烂老师，那我就当个烂学生。
Ludacris going in on the verse. 'Cause I never been defeated and I won't stop now.
"路达克里斯来唱副歌。我无所不胜，永不停止。
Will you stop it! This is a classroom. This is not American Bandstand. Okay.
停下来！这是教室。不是《美国大舞台》。好了。
Now, where was I? Let's see. Oh, yes. Over here.
好了，我说到哪里呢？我看看。对了，就是这里。
You...What are you doing now? Making a straw.
你...你又在干什么？折一个吸管。
Why? So I can shoot you with a spitball.
为什么？我就可以用口水球射你了。
You're not going to do that, and I'll tell you why.
你不能这么做，我来告诉你为什么。
This is an institution of higher learning, I am your professor, and you're going to treat me with the prop...
这里是高等学府的课堂，我是你的教授，你对待我的态度应该是...
You shot your spit in my mouth!
你的口水吐进我的嘴里了！
Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I can do that again.
考试会考这个吗？我想我再也做不到了。
Hey, girlfriend. Can I get a what what?
好闺蜜。可以来个那啥啥吗？
What? Close enough.
啥？差不多了。
Um, I was just calling to see what you were up tonight.
我打来想问问你今晚有什么安排。
Thought maybe we could hit up Color Me Mine, maybe sneak in some Pinot Greej. Whatevs.
咱们可以去整整"自己动手做彩陶"，偷偷带进去一些葡萄酒，随便啦。
Uh, thanks, but I think I'm gonna stay in and go over the stuff Bernadette gave me.
多谢了，但我要留在家学习伯纳黛特给我的资料。
Oh. Oh, I hear you. Try and get that nag off your back, right?
哦，这样啊。好让唠叨鬼不再烦你对吧？
I mean, you're not a bicycle; why's she riding you like that?
你又不是单车，她凭什么要这样"骑压"你？
No, I think she was just trying to help. Plus, I really want to do well at this job. So...
不，我想她只是想帮忙。而且，我想做好这份工作。
Okay, good luck. And call me later, you know, if you decide she's a bitch or something.
那祝你好运，晚点打给我，如果你要抱怨她是个贱人什么的。
Hey, girlfriend. Hey, Amy. Tonight. You, me, Color Me Mine.
好闺蜜。艾米。今晚，你和我，"自己动手做彩陶"。
Maybe we sneak in some pinot-- make it Color Me Wine.
也许带点葡萄酒进去，整个"自己动嘴喝彩酒"。
That sounds fun, but I promised Penny I'd come by and help her study.
听起来很好玩，但我答应了佩妮过去帮助她学习。
Oh. Well, good luck getting her to do that. She's probably off getting another manicure.
那只能祝你好运逮到她。她可能又出去修指甲了。
You remember when she did that? You remember?
你记得她那次这样做吗？记得吗？
I was probably being too hard on her. We talked, we're good.
我可能对她太严厉了。我们谈过了，没事了。
Oh. Great. I'm happy for you guys.
太好了。我为你们高兴。
You know, when the two of you aren't getting along, it puts me in a really weird position.
你俩合不来时我夹在中间，好难做人啊。
Well, don't worry - everything's back to normal.
不用担心，一切恢复正常了。
You mean, like, where she's nice to your face? Okay got it. Bye.
你是指她表面上又跟你好了吗？明白了，拜。
Hey, boyfriend.
好男友。
Can't talk. Spitball. Probably gonna die.
没时间说话。口水球。可能会死。
Well? Sheldon, I I promise. Your uvula does not have an STD.
怎么样？谢尔顿，我发誓。你的小舌没得性病。
Are you sure? It just doesn't feel as innocent as it used to.
你确定吗？感觉没有以前那么纯洁了。
You reported me to human resources?
你把我告到人事部去了吗？
You violated the sanctity of my mouth.
你亵渎了我口腔的圣洁。
Well, I dropped your class, so I hope you're happy.
我不上你的课了，希望你开心。
I told you you weren't smart enough to take it.
我跟你说过，你不够聪明，不能上我的课。
I'm smart enough, Sheldon.
我够聪明了，谢尔顿。
Asking me a bunch of questions about a topic I'm not familiar with doesn't prove anything.
问我一大堆我不熟悉的课题的问题并不能证明什么。
I could do the same to you. Yeah...Try me. Okay.
我也可以问你。是吗，试试。好的。
You enjoy making fun of engineering so much.
你非常享受取笑工程学。
How do you quantify the strength of materials?
那么你如何量化材料强度？
Young's modulus. Is that right? Yeah.
杨氏模量。对吗？对。
Okay, how do you prevent eddy currents in a transformer?
你如何预防变压器中的涡流损耗？
Laminate the core material. Come on, give him a hard one. That was a hard one.
层压芯材。拜托，问个难的。这就是难的。
All right. How does the flow rate in a pipe depend on its diameter?
好吧。管直径如何决定流量？
You don't know, do you? What's the matter, smart guy?
你不知道，对吗？怎么啦，聪明人？
Don't know Poiseuille's law? Thank goodness I got it!
不知道泊肃叶定律了吧？谢天谢地出来了！
Now I can quit checking my stool.
现在我不必再检查我的粪便了。
Okay, what are the potential side effects for our erectile dysfunction drug?
我们的壮阳药有些什么可能的副作用？
Headaches, dizziness and nausea. Yes.
头痛、头晕、恶心。是的。
Those are also the side effects of having a 75-year-old man with an erection climb on top of you.
一个勃起的75岁老男人趴在你身上，你也会出现这些副作用。
Want to stop here? Uh, no. I can keep going. Nah, you got this.
要不要停下来？不用，我可以继续。不必了，你能行的。
Let's go for a drink. I'll call Amy.
我们去喝一杯。我打给艾米。
Okay, good. She seemed like she really wanted to go out tonight.
好的，她似乎今晚特别想出去玩。
Hey, girl.
干嘛，妹子。
Okay, next question, for the Butterfinger: how long is a galactic year?
下个问题，奖品是金手指黄油饼干银河年有多长？
250 million years! Yes!
两亿五千万年！对了！
Okay, this one is for a Cadbury Creme Egg. It's not even Easter time. This is crazy!
这个的奖品是吉百利蛋。复活节都没到呢。太疯狂了！
Which Archimedean solid has 20 regular triangular faces, 30 square faces, 12 pentagonal faces, 60 vertices and 120 edges?
哪种阿基米德多面体有20个规则的三角面，30个四角面，12个五角面60个顶点和120条边？
The Rhombicosidodecahedron! Yes! We are so smart!
小斜方截半二十面体！答对了！我们太聪明了！
Why didn't girls like us in high school?
高中时为什么女生不喜欢咱们？
Because we were awkward and weird and couldn't play sports! Right again!
因为我们呆滞怪异，而且运动无能！又答对了！
