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So when do you guys plan on getting married?
那么，你们准备什么时候结婚？
Uh, we're not sure. But I want to wait long enough to prove to my mother I'm not pregnant.
呃，我们还不清楚。我想再等一段时候，直到我妈认为我没有怀孕。
May I have one of your fries?
我能尝一下你炸薯条吗？
Of course. Can I have a bite of your burger?
当然可以。我能咬一口你的汉堡吗？
Absolutely not.
当然不行。
Some perfect couple. He won't even share his food with her.
那么完美的一对。他居然小气到不肯分享食物。
It has avocado on it. She's allergic to avocado. Are you so jealous of our relationship you want Amy to die?
汉堡里含有鳄梨，她对鳄梨过敏。难道你因为太嫉妒我们之间的关系想害死Amy？
I'm not jealous. I just think it's silly for you to compare relationships like they're something that can be quantified.
我没有嫉妒。我只是觉得把情人之间的关系做对比很愚蠢，就好像情人关系可以量化似的。
Everything is quantifiable. That French fry? A seven. SpiderMan? A nine. The number nine...oddly, only a four.
什么事情都能量化。这薯条？七分。蜘蛛侠？九分。至于数字九... 很可惜，只有四分。
How ridiculous is he? A hundred.
他荒谬的程度多少分？一百分。
Sheldon, you're just assigning random numbers to things based on your opinion.
Sheldon，你只是基于你的观点上对事物随机乱打分。
No, I'm not. French fries have three variables...crispiness, saltiness and shape.
不，我没有。薯条有三种变量...脆度、盐度，和形状。
Which is why a curly fry only gets a two. If I wanted curls for dinner, I'd order a clown wig.
这就是为什么炸薯条卷只有两分。如果我想要卷薯条当晚餐，还不如点小丑假发呢。
Well, a relationship is more complicated than a French fry.
但恋爱关系比薯条更复杂。
Not according to the work of Berscheid, Snyder and Omoto.
可Berscheid 、Snyder 和 Omoto的研究成果不这么说。
Oh, what did those rascals do now?
这三傻现在在干嘛？
They developed the Relationship Closeness Inventory, which predicts the stability of a couple based on behavior.
他们研发了一种亲密度测试列表，通过行为来预测恋人关系的稳定程度。
Yeah, not to be confused with the French Fry Goodness Inventory. That's pure Cooper.
但，别把这理论和我的薯条理论弄混了。薯条理论可是我原创。
So, this is accurate?
这预测的准确吗？
It's been around for 25 years, and has been extensively corroborated by other researchers.
这理论流行了25年了，而且被很多研究人员所证实。
Well, kind of takes the romance out of relationships.
这种测试估计会减少恋爱的浪漫感吧。
Kind of? It does it perfectly.
估计？这玩意就是浪漫杀手。
Sheldon and I got an eight-point-two out of ten.
Sheldon和我得了8.2分，满分10。
Fine. We'll take it right now. No, don't. What?
好。我们现在就测一下。不，别测。什么？
Just don't take it. Why not? 'Cause it's stupid. Who cares what number it is?
说了别测就别测。为什么不测？因为看上去很蠢。谁关心测试结果啊？
Come on. It'll be fun. I said I don't want you to. I'm getting another drink.
没事的。这会很有趣。我说了我不想测。我去再要杯饮料。
Sorry. I'm gonna let you count this as two dates. They're a lot of work.
失陪一下。就当这次算两次约会吧。他们俩可真不让人省心。
Think he's getting any better?
你觉得他有进步吗？
Yup. That was a close one! Okay!
有的。刚才那球挺不错的！好的！
Is it too late for him to cancel? I think so.
现在取消太迟了吗？我觉得是。
Heads up! Watch out!
当心！注意！
Are you mad at me? No, stop being stupid.
你在生我的气吗？不，别傻了。
Um...whew? Is this about the test, or is this about us?
嗯... 真没事了？是因为那个测试，还是我们俩的问题？
Look, I don't need a score on a test to make me worry about something I'm already worried about.
听着，我才不需要什么测试成绩来提醒我已经在担忧的问题。
What are you worried about?
你担心什么呢？
That we're engaged and have nothing in common, and it scares me.
我们订婚了，却没有共同点。这吓到我了。
Yeah, that scares me, too. It does? Sometimes.
对呀，也吓到我了。有吗？有时会。
Well, that's not good! You being blindly infatuated with me was the rock we were building this relationship on!
这可不好！你对我的盲目迷恋才是我们恋爱的根基！
Okay, well, this might make you feel better.
好吧，这话可能会让你开心点。
Uh, we're both scared that our marriage will be a disaster, and so, that's something that we have in common.
我们都怕这段婚姻会是个悲剧，所以我们还是有共同点的。
Also, we both think I'm not funny. Huh? See, you're not laughing.
还有一点，我们都觉得我不好笑。瞧瞧，你就没笑。
Hey, Froot Loops, what's up?
嘿，彩色圈圈小麦片，怎么了？
Hey, Mike. Listen, NASA asked me to throw out the first pitch at an Angels game. You got any advice?
嘿，Mike。听着，宇航局要我投天使队比赛的第一个球。你有什么建议吗？
Yeah. Don't do it. What else you up to?
有。别去。还有什么事？
Why shouldn't I do it?
我干嘛不能去？
There's no upside. If you do well, no one cares. And if you screw up, you're an idiot on YouTube forever.
根本没好处。你投得好，没人在乎。投得烂，就永远是视频网站上的笑料。
But it's for a good cause. What about all the kids that'll be there?
但目的是好的。想想那些会在场的孩子们啊？
That's what I'm telling you. Kids are the worst. My own daughter tweeted I have a giant nose.
这就是我想告诉你的。小孩子最麻烦了。我自己的女儿发推特说我有个大鼻子。
Well, maybe I'll do a good job.
也许我能投得好呢。
I don't know. In space, you couldn't even toss me a pen, and that was in zero gravity.
我不知道。你在宇宙飞船里都没法扔笔给我，那还是零重力呢。
Okay, thanks for the pep talk.
谢谢你鼓舞人心的一番话。
Anytime, Froot Loops. Give your wife a hug for me. She's so much cuter than you, I don't know how you ever got her.
随时效劳，彩色圈圈小麦片。替我抱抱你老婆。她比你可爱多了，我都不知道你怎么能追到她的。
He's so nice. Hey, sorry about that.
他人真好。嘿，很抱歉。
No, we're sorry. We never should have been comparing relationships in the first place.
不，应该是我们道歉。我们一开始就不应该拿彼此的恋爱关系作比较。
Why? We won. You know, I say, next, we take on Koothrappali and his dog. Really give ourselves a challenge.
为什么不该？我们赢了。要我说，下次我们去大战Koothrappali和他的狗。给自己点有挑战性的。
I just want to say one more thing about this. Just because Penny and I are very different people does not mean that we're a bad couple.
这件事情，我只想再说一句。我和Penny是截然不同的人，并不意味着我们不是好情侣。
The answer is one simple test away. You know, it's like when I thought there was a possum in my closet.
只需要一个简单测试就能知道答案。要知道，这就像那次我觉得衣柜里有只负鼠一样。
Did I sit around wondering? No, I sent Leonard in with a pointy stick and a bag.
我干坐着瞎猜了吗？没有，我让Leonard带着尖棍和袋子去查看。
I killed his Chewbacca slippers.
我杀了他的Chewbacca拖鞋。
Let's just take the test.
我们接受测试吧。
No, no, no, I don't want to. Oh, well, 'cause you know we're gonna do bad.
不，不，我不要。好吧，因为你知道我们会搞砸。
Because it doesn't matter. I don't care if we're a ten or a two.
因为根本没意义。拿十分还是拿两分，我根本无所谓。
Or a one. A one is possible.
或者一分。一分也是有可能的。
Marriage is scary. You're scared, I'm scared.
婚姻是很可怕。你怕，我也怕。
But it doesn't make me not want to do it. It...it just...makes me want to hold your hand and do it with you.
但这并没有让我不想结婚。只... 只是...让我想牵着你的手，和你一起渡过难关。
Oh, Leonard... It would make me so happy if you said things like that.
哦，Leonard...如果你对我说这样的话，我会很幸福的。
We got an eight-point-two. Trust me, you're happy.
我们得了8.2分。相信我，你是幸福的。
Mm! I love how they put a waterfall at center field. It really ties the whole stadium together.
恩！我喜欢他们在球场中央放置的瀑布。把球场融为一个整体。
Look at you, talking sports.
看看你，竟然在谈论体育。
This is fun, huh? We get to see our friend throw out the first pitch, have a hot dog, watch the game.
真有趣，对吧？我们能看到朋友投第一个球，吃个热狗，看看比赛。
Whoa. Nobody said anything about watching the game.
哇哦。没人说要看比赛。
Sheldon, what did you expect?
Sheldon，那你怎么打算的？
I expected to see Howard throw the baseball, finish my hot dog, and hightail it across the street to Disneyland just in time for Mickey's Soundsational Parade.
我打算看Howard扔完球，吃掉我的热狗，然后飞奔去对街的迪士尼乐园，赶上米奇的欢乐游行。
I'll tell you what. If we stay, I'll buy you cotton candy and a bobblehead.
这么说吧。如果留下，我就给你买棉花糖和摇头娃娃。
Who's the bobblehead of? Does it matter?
谁的摇头娃娃？有关系吗？
No, as long as it bobbles. Howie, I am so proud of you.
没有，只要会摇头就可以。Howie，我真为你自豪。
Thanks. I'm proud of me, too. You ready?
谢谢，我也为自己自豪。准备好了吗？
Let's do it. All right. Wish me luck. Go get 'em.
上场吧。好的。祝我好运。加油。
Ladies and gentlemen, in honor of Space Day at Angel Stadium, the first pitch will be thrown out by NASA astronaut Howard Wolowitz.
女士们，先生们，为了庆祝天使球场的太空日活动，第一球将由宇航局的Howard Wolowitz宇航员投出。
Thank you. Thank you. Can he really throw a ball?
谢谢。谢谢大家。他真的准备好投球了吗？
On our Quidditch team, he...Yeah, that's a "no."
在我们魁地奇队里... 好吧，那就是没有。
I have a message for the young people here today. When I was asked to throw the first pitch, a little voice in my head said I couldn't do it.
我想和今天在场的年轻人们说。当我得知我要扔第一个球时，我脑海里有个声音告诉我，我做不到。
So, I practiced and practiced, and you know what? That little voice...was right, but...then I remembered that I'm not an athlete. I'm a scientist.
所以我反复练习，后来呢？那个声音...说得没错。但我想起来了，我并不是运动员。而是个科学家。
So, today's first pitch will be delivered to home plate by science.
所以今天第一球将由科学投向本垒。
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I present to you a working prototype of the Mars Rover!
女士们，先生们，男孩们，女孩们。我隆重介绍火星探测器的模型！
And here's the wind-up...and the pitch!
它将会挥臂...投球！
Why is it going so slow? !
怎么走得那么慢？！
'Cause I'm an idiot who didn't think this through!
因为我是个没考虑周全的笨蛋！
Okay, new plan. We go to Disneyland, play hide and seek on Tom Sawyer's Island, and then come back and see the end of the pitch.
好吧，新计划。我们去迪士尼，到汤姆?索亚的小岛上玩捉迷藏，然后回来看投球的结果。
Okay, while we're waiting for the ball to arrive, here's some fun facts about Mars.
好吧，在我们等球到达本垒的时候，先来听听火星趣闻。
You suck, Wolowitz! He makes a valid point!
烂透了，Wolowitz！他说得有道理！
Okay, booing isn't gonna make it go any faster!
你们再喝倒彩，它也快不起来！
