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But if I get a chance to be a tenured professor, I might not have that much choice in where I end up.
但如果我有机会当上终身教授，也许我最终的归宿地就没法随便选了
Yeah, but if I become a successful actress, we wouldn't need the money.
没错，但如果我成了成功的演员，我们就不需要钱啦
Well, you don't go into science for the money.
探究科学又不是为了钱
Speak for yourself.
那只是你自己哟
Last month, my company both invented and cured Restless Eye Syndrome.
上个月，我的公司自己发明了"不宁眼综合症"，然后又把它治好了
Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps.
叮叮，你个眨眼的笨蛋
So, wait, if my career took me somewhere else, you might not go?
这么说，如果我因为事业去别的地方，你可能不会跟来?
He started it.
他起的头
Okay, okay, guys-- new back stories. Uh, Penny and Leonard, you two lovebirds are super successful and living in New York.
好好好，我们换个背景故事，佩妮和莱纳德，你们这对小恋人功成名就地一起住在纽约
Uh, you're an actress, you're a professor and you have three beautiful kids. Great.
你是一位演员，他是一位教授，你们生了三个可爱的孩子。好故事
Really? You think I'm putting this body through three kids?
好什么?你觉得我会任自己的娇躯怀三个孩子?
Okay, let's do this. Good luck.
好，我们去吧。祝好运
Aren't you gonna come with me?
你不陪我一起?
While you confront your mother about her sex life? I'd rather go back to that bar in ass-less chaps.
陪你去质问你母上大人的性生活?我宁可穿着屁股开洞的皮裤回酒吧
Mother? Mother. Mother? Shelly! I'm so glad you're here!
母亲?母亲。母亲?！谢仔！你过来看我真的太好了!
I saw you having naked sex.
我看到你做爱了
What are you talking about?
你说什么?
Earlier, I came here to surprise you.
我之前过来想给你个惊喜
I looked in the window and I saw you with a man.
透过窗户，看到你和一个男的一起
Oh, Shelly, I'm so sorry. Come in.
谢仔，真是对不起。进来吧
Maybe we should sit down and talk about this.
要不我们坐下来谈谈
Can you recommend a surface you haven't had coitus on?
能推荐一个你没有行过鱼水之欢的地方吗?
That's not funny.
别拿这个开玩笑
Maybe we should sit at the table.
要不坐桌子那边
Well, I'm sure that, uh, you... have a lot of questions.
我想...你...有很多疑问
Who was he?
他是谁?
His name is Ron. I met him at my prayer group.
他叫罗恩，我在祈祷会认识的
How long have you been involved with him? A few months.
和他在一起多久了?几个月了
And of those few months, how long have you been a demented sex pervert?
这几个月里，你沉沦于狂热性爱多久了?
That is no way to speak to your mother. Perhaps not.
你不能这么对你妈说话。也许不能
But it is a way to speak to a woman who quoted the Bible to me my whole life, and then desecrates one of Ethan Allen's finest sofas.
但是对一个从小到大都用圣经里的话教育我，还玷污了伊顿·阿伦最精美的沙发的女人就可以这么说话
I will give you one opportunity, young man, to apologize. Or what? Or I will send you to your room.
我给你一次机会，年轻人，给我道歉。不然呢?不然就把你关屋里
That's ridiculous. I am a grown man.
太可笑了，我是个成年人了
I am a professional scientist. And I currently occupy the moral high ground.
还是位专业的科学家，而且现在我占领了道德高地
Go to your room.
回房间!
But I occupy the moral high ground.
但是我占领了道德高地
Go to your room.
回房间!
But I'm a professional scientist.
但我是位专业的科学家
Go... to your room!
回!房!间!
I'm a grown man.
我是成年人
Can we please get back to the game? I-I-In a minute.
能继续游戏不?等等下
I-I-I don't understand why any success you have in acting is more important than any I have in science.
我就是不明白，为什么你在演艺事业取得的任何成就都重于我在科学界的成就
Okay, if you do something cool in science, you might change the world.
你看，你要在科学界做出点什么，你也许能改变世界
If I become a famous actress... I'm not gonna tell you why movie stars are the best. They just are.
但如果我变成了有名的演员...我才不跟你说为什么电影明星最重要。反正就是
I'm surprised you guys never talked about this stuff.
我没想到你们从来没谈过这事
Like you and Sheldon have everything figured out?
好像你和谢尔顿什么都谈好了一样?
Actually, our relationship agreement covers a wide array of scenarios, including career changes, financial instability, intelligent dog uprising...
我们的恋爱协议已经覆盖了大量的内容，包括工作的更换，财务的不稳定性，高智商狗的暴动
FYI, we plan on selling out the human race hard.
另外，我们的计划是狠狠地出卖人类
In 20 years, who knows what'll happen with any of us?
反正20年后，谁知道我们会发生什么?
I think you and Leonard will be together.
我觉得你和莱纳德会在一起
You do? Yeah I think you're the best couple I know.
你这么想?是呀。我觉得你们是我见过最棒的情侣
Aw. That's so sweet. What the hell?! Excuse me?
嘴真甜。我了个去!你说啥?
Let the dead man talk.
让这死人说下去
So, why do you think that?
你为什么会这么想?
Uh, well, I feel like you guys make each other better.
我就是觉得你们让彼此变得更好
Penny brought Leonard out of his shell.
佩妮让莱纳德打开心扉
And it seems like Leonard makes Penny think more deeply about the world. I don't know.
而莱纳德似乎让佩妮对这个世界有了更深刻的思考。我也不知道
Together, you two kind of make one awesome person. Aw, Stuart.
你们在一起，似乎成了一个很棒的人。哦，斯图尔特
Now I feel bad for murdering you. Oh, come on!
现在我都觉得把你杀了太过分了。喂!
Penny did it! I win!
佩妮杀的!我赢了!
Suck it, jackasses!
去死吧，愚蠢的人类!
Hey, can I come in?
我能进来不?
Apparently any man is welcome in this house. Why not you?
这屋子显然是个男人都能进，为什么你不行?
I thought you were waiting in the car.
我以为你在车里等呢
That was an hour ago, Sheldon. A Jew sits in front of a house in Texas that long, "For Sale" signs start to go up.
都一个小时了，谢尔顿，一个犹太人要在德州的房子前坐这么久，"清仓大甩卖"的牌子就要挂出来了
I take it things didn't go smoothly with your mom. No.
我想你和你妈的交涉并不愉快。是啊
I'm not sure how we're going to get past this.
也不知道我们要怎么处理这事
You know, I... I sort of went through something like this myself.
那个，我...我某种程度上经历过一些事情，亲身经历
Howard, we've all seen your mother naked.
霍华德，我们都见过你妈妈裸体
That woman needs to learn how to tie a robe.
她需要学会怎么系好浴袍
I'm talking about when my mom started seeing someone a couple years after my dad left.
我是说当我妈妈在我爸爸去世几年后开始和某人约会
I didn't know she did.
我不知道她这样做了
Yeah, she was dating this guy, and I was kind of a jerk to her about it.
是啊，她当时在和那个男人约会，这件事情上我其实对她挺混蛋的
What did you do?
你都做什么了?
Well, let's just say it was the most vicious bar mitzvah speech in the history of Temple Beth El.
好吧，相当于是说这是贝赛尔教会，史上最恶毒的犹太人成年礼演讲
Anyway, she broke up with him.
无论如何，她和他分手了
And she's basically been alone ever since.
然后她基本上一直单身到现在
She never said it, but I always felt I was the reason why.
她从来都没说过，但我经常能感觉到我就是她一直单身的原因
I'm sorry. Although, based on your story, you absolutely were the reason why.
我很遗憾，虽然根据你的故事，你绝对就是那个原因
All I'm saying is you might not want to get in the way of your mom's happiness.
所有我想说的是你肯定不想干涉你妈妈的幸福
You may have a point.
你可能说到点上了
I love my mother.
我爱我妈妈
Even if she fornicates like a demonic weasel.
虽然她滚床单的时候像个恶魔般的黄鼠狼
And the healing begins.
治愈开始了
Hello. Hello. Are you ready to discuss this calmly, like adults? I am.
哈喽。哈喽。你准备好了像个成年人一样冷静地讨论这些吗?是的
Shelly, I'm sorry that you saw what you saw. I know that this is hard for you.
谢仔，我很遗憾你看到你所看到的，我知道这对你来说很难
I think what most upsets me about it, Mother, is the hypocrisy.
妈妈，我觉得最让我不开心的是虚伪
Doesn't this contradict all the religious rules you've been espousing your whole life? You're right, it does, and it's something that I'm struggling with these days.
这难道不违背了你一生所信奉的所有宗教信条吗？你说的没错，是这样，这也是这几天我正在挣扎的东西
Then why are you doing it?
所以你为什么要这样做?
Because I'm not perfect, Shelly.
因为我不是完美的，谢仔
And that man's booty is.
但是这个男人的臀部是的
Well, this is confusing for me.
好吧，这对我来说太困惑了
But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. So...
但我并不想阻挡你的幸福，所以...
I'll condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
我会一边在内心谴责你，一边在表面上保持接受
That is very Christian of you.
真是个好基督徒啊
Mother, if you're going to conduct your life in this fashion,
妈妈，如果你要用这种方式进行你的生活，
then I should let you know that the world has changed since you were a young woman.
我需要要让你知道，从你还是个年轻女人的时候，世界都已经变了
You know, it's not all sock hops, soda jerks and segregation anymore.
你知道吗，这已经不是不穿鞋子的短袜舞会，老式苏打水和种族隔离的年代了
How old do you think I am?
你认为我多大了?
My point is that you're going to need to be careful.
我的重点是你需要小心谨慎
You used to be protected by your pre-Enlightenment mythology, but now you're going to need a stronger friend named latex.
你以前会用你的先启蒙神话学保护你自己，但是你现在需要一个更强壮的小伙伴叫套套
Are you having the sex talk with me?
你在和我进行性教育谈话吗?
Well, someone has to. Oh, dear Lord! Yeah, well... No, don't look to Him. He's mad at you right now.
嗯，总要有人做这件事的，哦，上帝啊，好吧，别，你别看着上帝，他正在生你的气呢
Oh, come on, don't pout. I'm sorry I ruined your game.
噢，行了吧，别噘着嘴了，我很抱歉毁了你的游戏
I'm not pouting, I'm brooding.
我没发脾气，我在沉思
Which is how sexy men pout.
这就是性感男人发脾气的方式
It actually was kind of fun.
事实上这挺好玩的
You're just saying that. Yeah.
你只是随便说说罢了。是的
I liked the time travel element.
我喜欢那个时空旅行元素
Thank you. I thought it was inspired.
谢谢，我觉得很受启发
It was. By Terminator.
对啊，被终结者
Well, I hope 20 years from now, we really are all still together and still friends. Definitely. Of course.
好吧，我希望20年以后，我们还在一起并且还是好朋友。必须的，当然了
Well, hey, how about this?
好吧，嘿，这个怎么样
Whether we're friends, not friends, scattered around the world, no matter what,
不管我们是朋友或者不是朋友，分散在世界的各个角落，无论如何
let's all promise to meet in front of this building exactly 20 years from tonight at 8:00 p.m. and have dinner like we always do.
我们来约定从今晚8点开始的整整20年后在这栋楼的前面相聚，然后就像我们经常做的一起吃个晚饭
Aw! I love it. Okay?
哇!我爱这个。好吗?
Putting it in my phone right now. Yeah, me, too.
现在在我的手机里记下来。是啊，我也是
My phone doesn't have a calendar.
我手机里没有日历
It's all right, I'll just write it on my hand.
没关系，我就写在手上好了
And it's done.
写完了
Yup, we're all in.
好耶，我们都会来的
All right, I'll see you guys in 20 years.
行，20年后再见咯
I knew it.
我就知道
