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So, a few weeks ago, my mom accidentally sold a house.
几周前，我妈不小心卖掉一栋房子
We love it. We'd like to make an offer.
我们喜欢这房子，我们愿意出价
And it was like she'd finally found her calling in life.
她好像终于找到了生活的意义
I was born to do this!
我简直就是为此而生的！
And she jumped right into it, full force.
她立刻投身于房屋中介业务，火力全开
Thank you so much. Goodbye.
太感谢你们啦，慢走啊
I-it's nice, but, uh, five bedrooms is a lot
房子不错，但是5间睡房对买第一套房的人
for our first home.
有点儿多了吧？
No, it is not.
不，不会的
Listen, Manuel, Soleil... Those are not our names.
听我说，曼纽尔，苏蕾，这不是我们的名字
It doesn't matter.
这不重要
I sold a house on my very first day on the job.
我上班第一天就售出了一栋房子
Trust me... I am the best.
相信我...我是最棒的
There she is!
就是她！
Oh, she's the one who keeps swooping in on my listings!
哦，她就是那个一直偷我房源的人
Hey, Jessica. Oh, hi, George.
嘿，杰西卡，哦，嗨，乔治
Officer Bryson is a regular at my husband's restaurant.
布莱森警员是我丈夫饭店里的常客
We have a caricature of him on the wall.
我们墙上还有一副他的漫画呢
I'm wearing an apron, standing next to a barbecue.
我穿着一条围裙，就站在烤架旁边
I love barbecue sauce, and... they ran with it.
我热爱烧烤酱汁，而...他们家无限供应
Can we please?!
办正事好么
She doesn't even have a realtor's license!
她甚至连房地产经纪人执照都没有
Go ahead... ask to see her license.
继续啊...问她要执照看看
She's come down to the station three times.
她来局子里得有3趟了
Do you mind? Not at all.
你介意么？完全不介意
Let me get it. It's just in my car.
我拿给你，就在我的车里
I hate caricatures.
我讨厌漫画
Is my nose a little big? Yes.
我的鼻子有点大吗？是的
Could my husband use it as a ski jump? No.
我丈夫能拿它跳台滑雪吗？不能
She's getting away!
她要逃跑了！
Shoot out her tire!
开枪打爆她的轮胎！
W-which would be an easy shot
从，从这扇美丽的手工雕刻的
from this beautiful, hand-carved double-door entry.
双开大门开一枪，真是轻而易举
Okay.
签好了
Thank you.
谢谢你
Ohhh.
哦，糟了
I forgot my wallet.
我没带钱包
You're at home.
您这是在家里呢
Boys, get over here!
儿子们，过来这边！
What is it?
这是什么啊
Something I've wanted for a long time.
是我梦寐已久的东西
A giant box!
巨型箱子！
I'm so happy for you, dad. Congratulations.
我真为你高兴啊，老爸，祝贺你梦想成真
When I grow up, I'm gonna get a box, too.
等我长大了，我也要一个箱子
My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well?
我的亲，亲，亲，亲，你未识我而我却知你已深
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you?
我满心的感触，只愿与你倾诉
Ever since I first laid eyes on Nicole, I knew she was my girl.
自从我第一眼看到妮可，我就知道她是我的妞
Maybe she was out of my league,
也许我高攀不起
but look at Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri.
但是看看珍妮?杰克逊和杰曼?德巴奇
If that ashy li'l nugget could get it, so could I.
如果那个挫货都能有美女相伴，那我也能
Dad...
老爸...
How do I get Nicole to like me?
我怎么才能让妮可喜欢我呢
Well, you picked a tough one, buddy.
好吧，你啃的是块硬骨头啊，小家伙
I'm not gonna lie.
我就实话实说了吧
She's cute, and she's older.
她很可爱又比你年纪大
You're 11, and you sleep with a glo worm.
你只有11岁，而且你还跟萤火虫睡一起
Yo, g-dubs sleeps with me.
呦！最好的才跟我睡
Look, getting girls is like opening a restaurant.
是这样的，泡妞就像是开饭店
It's all about location.
选好地点就是一切
You just have to be conveniently located
你只要在她开车从机场回家
when she's driving home from the airport
焦急难耐的时候
and too desperate to look for other options.
出现在她唾手可得的地方就好了
W-what do you mean?
你什么意思啊？
Find out where she's gonna be
找出那个她常去的地方
and be there always.
然后就在那里守着
Like, uh, is she part of any clubs,
比如，嗯，她有参加社团吗
or where does she go after school?
或者放学后她会去哪儿
That's your move, buddy. That's what you're gonna do.
那就是你的方向，小盆友，那就是你该做的
Huh.
额
Apparently, you need a license to sell houses!
显而易见，你得有个执照才能卖房子
Did you know this?!
你知道这事吗
I did know this.
我确实知道啊
I told you this, and you ignored me.
我告诉过你，你没理会我
Ashley Alexander is trying to take me out
阿什莉?亚历山大想把我踢出房仲业
because she knows I am the best.
因为她知道我是最好的
It is like Mike Tyson all over again.
这就好像迈克·泰森事件的重演
They bring in Miss Black Rhode Island...
他们诬陷他强奸罗德岛黑人小姐...
Honey, you're gonna have to give up on that.
亲爱的，你得放弃那个借口了
He was guilty. He went to jail.
他确实有罪，他还进了监狱
Fine!
好吧
I will ace their silly exam,
我会搞定那个傻逼考试
and then I will treat myself to a chipwich,
然后我会奖励自己一个冰淇淋三明治
because... tell me why, Evan.
因为...告诉我为什么，埃文
Huh?
啥
Evan, always be listening to me.
埃文，你要一直听着我讲话
What did I ask you when you got a 99 on your spelling test?
当你拼写测试得99分的时候我问了你什么
"Did anyone get a 100?"
“有没有其他人得100分啊？”
And I said, "No," And you said, "Then you are the best."
然后我说，“没有”然后你说，“那样你才是最棒哒”
That's right. Because what do I say, Emery?
好了，因为我说什么，埃默里
Huh?
啥
Emery, always be listening to me.
埃默里，要一直注意听我讲话
"If you're going to do something, be the best."
“如果你要做什么事情，做最好的”
Guys, speaking of the best...
大家伙们，说到最好的
What is that?
那是什么鬼
It's a sit-down, salon-style hair dryer,
它是一个坐式沙龙干发机
and it's beautiful.
美不胜收
Now I can finally reach my maximum hair potential.
现在我终于能发挥我头发的终极潜力了
I need more information.
我需要更多的信息
I ordered it from the outlet mall.
我从打折商场订购的
See, you know how hand-held dryers blow your hair back,
看，你知道的，手持吹风机总是把你的头发往后吹
when what you really want is for the hair to be blown down?
其实你真正想要的是把头发往下吹
That's what the Philippe Monday 3000s provides...
而这正是菲力浦Monday3000所提供的...
a cone of premium, omnidirectional hot air
半球型顶级，全方位热风处理
for that all-over dry.
让你干个透爽
Thank you.
谢谢大家
Excuse me... can you move?
打扰一下...你能挪个位子
I want to sit close to the door. This won't take me long.
我要靠着门坐，这测试不会花我太长时间的
I have a chipwich waiting for me in the car.
我还有个冰淇淋在车里等着我去吃呢
This test is a waste of my time.
这个测试简直是浪费我的时间
Ugh. I know what you mean.
额，我懂你意思
I always say "Time is money."
我一直说，“时间就是金钱”
Hello.
看这儿
It says "Get rich" In Chinese.
这是中文的“发财”
Oh, I love that.
哦，我喜欢
Kim from Sunshine Realty.
阳光房地产的金
Jessica. Hi.
你好，杰西卡
Are you already a realtor?
你已经是一个房产经纪人啦?
Yes, for 10 years now. I'm just renewing my license.
是啊，已经10年了，我就是来更新一下我的执照
What about you? How long have you been in the game?
你怎么样啊？你入这行多长时间了？
Only a month, but I already sold a house... on my first try.
只有一个月，但是我第一次出手...就卖掉一所房子了
Congratulations. You will never forget your first time.
祝贺你，你永远都不会忘记你的第一次
Mine was, what, 358 houses ago?
我第一次卖房，大概，358套房之前吧？
You jive.
你扯呢吧
I know. It's crazy, right?
听起来有点小疯狂，是吧
But I'm kind of a freak of nature.
但我本身就有点不同寻常
I've been voted top-selling realtor five years running
我已经连续五年被评为最佳房地产经纪人了
according to the Orlando sentinel.
奥兰多前哨报选出来的
They... call you that?
他们...叫你这个
Yes. Kind of embarrassing.
嗯，有点小害羞呢
Here's the article.
文章就在这儿
You can keep that. I have copies.
你可以留下来慢慢看，我复印了不少
So, uh, why are you so late to the game?
话说，呃，你事业起步有点晚啊
Career change?
转行啦
Well, I have three kids...
呃，我有三个孩子...
Ohhh. Okay. So you made that choice.
噢，好吧，所以你选择了家庭
Hey.
嘿
I am also a stay-at-home mom starting my act 2 in life.
我也在家当全职妈妈，正开启我生活的新篇章
You and me... we're the same.
你和我...是一样的哦
No, we are not.
不，我们不是
I envy you two.
你俩真让我嫉妒
We are not the same. Tell us all about it.
我们不一样，说说看你嫉妒啥
We are not the... s-same.
我们不一...样
You have two hours for part 1.
第一部分，限时两小时
I forgot my pencil. Let me go get it.
我忘带铅笔了，马上去拿
It's just in my car.
就在我车里
State got my letter, right?
你们收到我的申请信了，对吧
Marge Hickman... I'm allowed these?
玛吉，希克曼...能放这个吧？
Jessica?
杰西卡
Hey!
嘿
What are you doing here?
你在这儿干嘛
Eating a chipwich.
吃我的冰淇淋三明治
I thought you were supposed to be taking your real-estate exam.
我以为这个点你应该在参加房仲业考试
Okay, Honey.
够了，亲
What did your dad mean, "Be conveniently located"
你爸说“当她从机场开车回家时”
when she's driving home from the airport"?
出现在她唾手可得的地方是啥意思
He was saying I should find out where she at after school.
他的意思是我得弄清她放学后去了哪儿
If I could spend time with my dad,
如果我有时间和我爸在一起
I wouldn't waste it talking about some skeeze.
我才不会浪费时间说泡妞的事
Okay, Dave.
行了，戴夫
Missy... Whoa!
小丫头... 嗷
You are gonna spend the rest of your life in detention.
你是打算用学校留堂来度过余生了
At least I have a life.
至少我还有生活
What's this? What's this? Oh! It's my wedding ring!
这是啥？这是啥？哦！我的婚戒诶！
I have a life.
姐也有生活
That's how I'm gonna spend time with her.
我知道怎么跟她呆一块儿了
I got to get thrown into detention.
我要被留堂查看
Oh, yeah? How are you gonna do that?
哦？你打算怎么做？
Yes, Eddie?
好的，埃迪
Oprah sucks.
欧普拉逊爆了
Hey, girl.
嘿，小妞
Looks like we're just two rebels, here.
看来两个叛逆者凑一块儿了
Yeah. Totally.
对，没错
Um, can you hold this for me?
嗯，你能帮我拿着这个吗
I'll be right back.
我马上就回来
Young man, is that a bag of ninja stars?
小伙子，你拿的是一袋忍者飞镖吗
What? No! Nicole just asked me to hold this for her.
什么？不！妮可让我帮她拿着的
Did she leave?
她走了
She did it again.
又是这样
I don't know where she gets off.
真不知道她又去哪快活了
You know I'm married, right?
你知道我结婚了，对吧
Congratulations!
祝贺你
What?
啥
You passed your test!
你通过了考试啊
I mean, we knew you would. It's just a formality.
我是说，你的能力不容置疑，不就去拿个证嘛
Like you said, got to weed out the dum-dums.
正如你所说，横扫那些蠢材
Yep. I did it.
没错，考完了
No dum-dums here.
蠢材一扫光
The cake says "A-b-c"... "Always be celebrating."
蛋糕上写着“A-b-c”...“永远在庆祝”
I thought the "B" Should stand for "Best."
我觉得“B”应该代表“最棒的”
"Always best celebrating"?
“永远最棒的庆祝”
That's what you wanted?
你想要那个
What'd you say, mommy?
妈咪，你说什么来着
I-I didn't say anything.
我我什么也没说
Oh. Okay.
哦，好吧
I'm listening to you, though, just so you know.
我一直在认真听你的话，你知道的
Careful.
小心
What's going on?
在干嘛呢
Oh. Excuse the 3000s.
哦，给3000型腾个地儿
She got a wider stance than I realized.
她比我想象的宽一点
I told the girls at school we got a new hair dryer,
我跟学校的女孩子们说我家买了个干发器
and they said, "Don't do anything different to your hair.
结果她们说“别动你的头发，我们就喜欢
We love it.
它那个样子
Who said that? Bianca? That sounds like Bianca.
谁说的？比安卡？一听就是比安卡的语气
Yep.
嗯
Jessica, don't you have to get up?
杰西卡，你不起床吗
I thought you had a lot of houses to show today.
我以为有很多房子排着队等你介绍呢
Oh, yes, a lot of showings today.
哦，对，是挺多的
Busy, busy.
忙，忙死了
Houses, mansions, condos, houseboats.
独立屋啊，豪宅啊，公寓啊，船屋啊
How crazy are houseboats? You go home and you sail away.
这是有多疯要住船屋啊？你回到家就扬帆起航了
What's your address? The ocean.
你住哪儿？大海
Don't like your neighbors?
不喜欢你邻居吗
Fish are your neighbors. You can eat your neighbors.
你邻居是鱼！你能吃你邻居！
So, yeah... busy, busy.
所以，你看...忙，忙死了
Okay, have a great day. I'm going under.
好，祝您今天愉快，我要进罩了
Dad.
老爸
I went to where Nicole hangs out after school.
我去了妮可课后去的地方
She blew me off.
她无视我
Okay, well, now that you've got her location down,
好吧，既然你现在知道她的位置了
you got to find out what she likes so you can plan your menu.
你就可以去弄清楚她喜欢什么，然后设计个菜单
Can you not talk in restaurant?
除了餐厅你能说点别的吗
Okay. Find some shared interests,
好吧，先找到共同爱好
something you both like, you know, to break the ice.
你俩都喜欢的，你知道的，打破僵局
Is that what you did with mom?
你就是这么搞定老妈的
Oh, not right away.
哦，也没那么快
We developed our shared interest over about nine months...
我们花了大概九个月...才培养出共同爱好
you.
你
Nasty.
真下流
Unbelievable.
不可思议
I love it!
我爱这感觉
I didn't take the test.
我没参加考试
I have nowhere to go,
没地方去了
and I have to pretend to be at work all day.
我得装出全天工作的样子
No, he died last year.
不，他去年就过世了
It's very sad.
真是挺伤感的
Okay, you little turds.
好了，你们这帮小混蛋
No funny business today.
今天可别耍什么花样
I'm at a really big point in Michael Crichton's "Congo,"
我正读到迈克尔，克莱顿所着“刚果”的关键情节
and I'm gonna put my headphones on.
我会戴上耳机
Couldn't help but notice you framed me
总是想到你那天用
with a bag of ninja stars the other day.
一包忍者飞镖陷害我的事
You into Asian warfare?
你喜欢亚洲之战吗
Brandon Lee was hot.
布兰登，李挺性感的
R.I.P., B. Lee.
安息吧，李
You ever seen "The crow"? It's one of my favorite movies. -
你看过电影“乌鸦”吗？我的最爱的电影之一
I don't need to see it. I've lived it.
我用不着看，那曾是我的生活
My pizza!
我的披萨
Get away, crows!
滚开，臭乌鸦
This place sucks.
这个地方糟透了
I don't even need to be here, anyway.
我甚至不需要来这儿
I'm going to beauty school.
我要去美容学校
Girl, let me stop you right there.
美妞，我们就此打住
You do not need a school to teach you how to be beautiful.
你根本不用上教你变漂亮的课
A beauty school, where you learn how to do hair and makeup?
美容学校,是教你怎么美发和化妆
Awesome! I love that stuff, too!
酷毙了！我也好这口
You should come over sometime after school.
你应该课后选个时间来
I... Yes.
我...没问题
Jessica?
杰西卡
Hey!
嘿
What are you doing here?
你在这里做什么
Why aren't you showing houses?
你怎么不在展示房子
I didn't take the realtor test.
我没有参加房地产经纪人考试
What?
什么
Why not?
为什么没
Because I'm never gonna be as good as her.
因为我永远也比不上她
Oh! Kim!
哦！金
Oh! She is great.
哦！她很棒
She sold us our house. Okay, Honey.
我们的房子就是通过她买的，好了，蜜儿
I'm sorry, Jessica.
杰西卡，真抱歉
Look, I know how hard it is living in someone else's shadow.
听着，我知道活在别人的阴影下是多么苦逼的事
Marvin's first wife was 25 years older than me,
马文的第一任妻子比我大25岁
25 pounds heavier, and is addicted to prescription meds.
重25磅，并且对药物上瘾
How are you living in her shadow?
怎么会是你活在她的阴影下
Oh. No. Sweetie, no.
哦，不，甜心，不
No, no. She's living in mine.
不是，是她活在我的阴影之下
But I really feel for her.
但我真的为她感到惋惜
Look, anyway, the point is,
听着，不管怎样，重点在于
there's always gonna be a shadow.
阴影总是挥之不去
So it's up to you to step out of it.
关键在你如何走出阴影
So... We're gonna stop eating the ice cream,
所以...我们不吃冰淇淋了
and you are gonna get your butt back down there
然后赶紧回去
and ace that test.
考个A回来
You're right.
你说的对
Thank you, Honey.
蜜儿，谢谢你
That's exactly what I am going to do.
我就是要这么做才对
Ma'am. Ma'am, you can't do those here.
女士，女士，你不能在这里做这些
You're gonna get scratcher dust in the ketchup.
刮下来的粉末会弄到番茄酱里的
Well, I can't go outside,
但是我不能出去
because my friend is a jogging maniac.
因为我朋友是太特么爱慢跑了
She's all over the city.
无论在哪儿她都能跑到你身边
The only place I am safe is here, by your junk food.
在你的垃圾食品旁边才是我的安全地带
Let's see what you have in your pot,
让我看看你盘里有什么
you cute, little leprechaun.
你真是可爱的小妖精
Nothing.
什么也没中
There's flies making love in your hot-dog case!
有苍蝇在你的热狗炉里交配
Mission control, this is star fighter. Come in.
航天地面指挥中心，我是星球战士，说吧
The shields are down! I repeat, the shields are down!
护盾不起作用了！我再重复一遍，护盾不起作用了！
We're coming in hot, and we're bringing company!
我们有棘手的问题，还有敌人尾随在后!
Damn it, lieutenant! The shields are down!
该死的，中尉！护盾不起作用了
We're breaking up on re-entry! The g-force is too much!
我们与大气的通讯断开了!重力负重太大
Tell Bianca I loved her.
告诉比安卡我爱她
I will do no such thing...
我不会这么做的...
'cause you're gonna tell her yourself.
因为你会有机会亲自对她说
You guys are good.
你们很棒
And this is my crimper with interchangeable plates.
然后这是我的多功能卷发器
It's the same one Melissa Joan Hart uses.
这可是和梅利莎·琼·哈特一个款式的哟（美国90年代最受欢迎的青春玉女偶像之一）
That's so interesting.
真有趣
It wasn't interesting, but I didn't care.
其实不有趣，但我不在乎这个
I was in her crib!
醉翁之意不在酒啊！
You know, I'm glad you guys moved in next door.
知道吗，我很高兴你们搬到隔壁
You are?
真的吗
Yeah. It was pretty boring around here.
是的，这周围太无聊了
And your house was empty for so long because of the murders.
你的新家因为谋杀案闲置了很久
What?!
你说神马
I'm kidding.
我开玩笑的
Yo, you got me, there.
喂，你吓死人了
Hey, could I ask you a favor?
嘿，我能请你帮个忙吗
I need someone to practice my beauty stuff on.
我需要有人当我的美容小白鼠
No problem, girl. Do your thing.
没问题，妞儿，随便来
Yeah? Cool. Thanks.
真的？太酷了，谢谢
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
等下等下等下
I thought you were just gonna style my hair or something.
我以为你只是帮我弄发型什么的
What I really need to learn is ear piercing.
我需要好好学学怎么穿耳洞
You know Brandon Lee had an earring, right?
你知道李国豪（李小龙之子）也有耳环的，对吗
True dat.
那必须滴
Ooh, this was crazy.
哦，太疯狂了
It was the closest I'd ever been to a girl
这是唯一与我有肢体接触的女孩
who wasn't my mom, a dentist, a nurse...
除了我妈，牙医，护士...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
Quick... "Propensity."
快点...“Propensity”怎么拼
p-r-o-p...
P-r-o-p...
Ensity
Ensity.
Propensity.
Propensity就是这么拼
"Ensity"?
“Ensity”呢？
Wrong. Here's the word. Write it five times.
错了，这个单词写5遍
How was your first day as a licensed realtor?
你第一天做有执照的房地产经纪人感觉怎么样？
Ohm, you know, it... it was the same.
哦，你知道，这...老样子
It didn't feel any different.
没什么不同
But it had to feel a little different, right?
但应该有所不一样，不是吗
You're legit now.
你现在是合法经纪人了
Actually, I was thinking about it,
实际上，我正在考虑此事
and... I feel like I have conquered that world.
我感觉我征服了房产界
I'm ready to move on to something else.
我准备转行
Don't be silly. You're great at this.
别傻了，你很在行的
Hey, can I see your license?
嘿，我可以看一下你的执照吗
Uh...
额...
Oh, it's in the car.
哦，在车里
Don't worry. I know you photograph angry.
不要担心，我知道你不上照
I don't care. I just want to see the license.
我不在乎，我只是想看一下那执照
Oh... Well, let me just get it.
哦...好吧，我去拿一下
In my purse.
在我皮夹里
Let me just get it.
让我取出来哈
Oh.
哦
A little zip-zip...
拉开拉链...
Oh, no! Someone has stolen it!
哦，不！被人偷了
No one leaves until we find out who.
在我们找出是谁以前谁都不要离开
It's definitely grandma.
一定是奶奶
Jessica, I know you didn't take the test.
杰西卡，我知道你没有去考试
What?! No! I... I ran into Honey.
什么？！不是！我... 我遇到蜜儿了
Hey! Jesus please...
嘿！我的亲娘七舅老爷...
Whoa.
没事儿吧
She told me everything.
她把一切都告诉我了
The only thing that woman runs more than her legs is her mouth.
那女人满嘴跑火车比跑腿强
She's worried about you.
她很担心你
Okay, it's true. I didn't take the test.
好吧，是真的，我没去考试
Here's the thief, mommy.
妈妈，小偷在这里
See ya, girl.
美妞，再见
Dude, let's go!
哥们，我们走
Get your bike out!
快拿你的自行车出来
W-what's going on?
发生什么事了
Shaq's at the barbecue store at the mall!
大鲨鱼在商场里的烧烤店呢
What?!
什么？
He's getting his propane tank fixed.
他正在修他的燃气罐
Just before that, he was at Mrs. Fields,
在那之前，他在菲太太曲奇店
getting one of those giant cookies.
买了一个巨型饼干
But I bet to him, it's a regular cookie.
我敢说，那对他来说就是块普通大小的饼干
Dude! Is that an earring?
哥们！那是个耳钉吗？
Yeah. Nicole tagged me like her own personal wildcat.
是呀，妮可把我当成她的小野猫标记了（绝育公猫耳上打标）
You look like a fool!
你看起来像个白痴！
We're losing focus!
我们跑题了！
Eddie. Eddie, get on.
埃迪，埃迪，上车
Hey, Eddie! I just found my henna stencils.
嘿，埃迪，我刚找到指甲花染料模板
Can I practice decorating your hands?
我能拿你的手练习一下吗？
Too long, Huang. We got to go.
考虑得太久了，黄，我们走了
Shaq! We're coming, Shaq!
奥尼尔!我们来了，奥尼尔
We forgive you for "Shaq Fu"!
我们原谅你的“功夫鲨鱼”了
What's going on? Why didn't you take the test?
到底发生了什么？为什么你没参加考试？
What's the point?
有什么意义呢？
No matter how many houses I sell, I'm never gonna catch up
无论我卖多少房子，我永远都追不上
with people who've been doing it for 10 years.
那些已经做了10年的人了
It's too late in the game for me to be the best.
对我来说在这行成为最棒的为时已晚
Why do you always have to be the best?
为什么你总是一定要成为最好的？
Because I tell the boys they always have to be the best.
因为我告诉孩子们一定要成为最棒的人
So your answer is to just quit?
所以你就这么放弃吗？
I'm not used to this!
我还没适应这事呢！
Well, you're also not used to having a full-time job,
好吧，你也一直都不习惯找份全职工作
living in Orlando, having a husband with perfect hair.
住在奥兰多，或是拥有一个留着完美发型的丈夫
A lot of things in life are new for you.
生活中有很多对你来说很新鲜的事情
All that matters is you do your best.
重要的是你尽了自己最大的努力
Isn't that a better example for the boys than quitting?
这跟放弃比起来，难道不是给孩子们的更好的榜样吗？
I like quitters even less than losers.
我宁可失败也不愿做逃兵
Mm-hmm. It goes like this.
恩，我心中的排位是
It goes quitters, losers,
放弃的人，失败的人
cats, kleenex, Martin Sheen,
猫，抽纸，马丁·辛
redheads, croissants, buttons...
红毛，牛角面包，纽扣...
Quick!
快
What are the zoning laws for a noncommercial establishment?
对非商用建筑来说，分区法是指什么？
I just opened the book.
我才刚刚打开书
Wrong!
错！
Here's the answer. Write it five times.
这是答案，写5遍
It's fun when mommy's bad.
妈妈犯错真好玩
Hey, mommy won't be bad for long.
嘿，妈妈不会一直出错的
I crunched the numbers,
我仔细研究那些数据
and if I sell 20 luxury homes a year, I can beat Kim.
如果我一年卖掉20个高档住宅，我就能打败金中介
Plus, she's gonna turn 40 soon, panic, and do I.V.F.
此外，她马上就40了，开始恐慌想要孩子，做个试管婴儿
That'll bench her for a few months.
就在那几个月我就能扳倒她
But that's not what's important, right, Honey?
但是那并不是重点，是吧？亲爱的
Right, right. No, right.
是，是，是，不是重点
Hey, mom. I'm home.
嘿，妈妈，我回来了
Just gonna get a jump on my homework! You love me?
马上就去做功课！
What are you hiding?
你藏了什么？
Nothing.
没什么
An earring?!
一个耳钉？
Eddie!
埃迪！
I take my eye off you for five minutes,
我才没盯着你5分钟
and you do this?
你就去做这个了？
And what are these? No...
这又是什么？不
Eddie!
埃迪！
I can't belie...
我不敢相信..
my goodness. Your hands are beautiful.
上帝，你的手真美
Is your ear pierced?
你扎耳眼了？
You are in so much trouble.
你有大麻烦了
I'm just doing what dad told me...
我只是做了爸爸教我的事
treating Nicole like a restaurant.
把妮可当做是一间餐厅
You told him this was okay? No. N...
是你告诉他他可以这么做？不
I told him to spend time with her and find shared interests.
我只是告诉他和她呆在一起然后发现一些共同的爱好
Which is what I did! She did all of this.
这就是我做的！这都是她做的
I-I can't even look at you with that thing.
你这样真让我无法直视
Here... put this back on.
来，把这个戴回去
You look like an Indian Elmer fudd.
你看起来像是兔八哥里的艾玛
I said "Shared interests."
我说的是共同的爱好
What are you doing? You're not into this stuff.
你做的是什么？你没明白这事
I know. And I missed seeing Shaq at the mall.
我明白，而且我还错过去商场看奥尼尔的机会
He was power-browsing, and I wanted to go,
他正在闲逛，我本想去看他
but Nicole wanted to henna my hands.
但是妮可想给我美甲
What was Shaq browsing at the mall?
奥尼尔在商场里看什么呢？
Cookies and propane.
饼干和燃气
Hm. That makes sense.
恩，有道理
You figure he can't buy clothes there.
你明白他在那买不到衣服
This is stupid!
看我干的蠢事啊
I'm just gonna give up.
我要放弃了
Eddie, no.
埃迪，不
I'm not quitting, and you are not, either.
我没放弃，你也不能
Just be yourself.
做你自己
If that's not good enough, that's not the girl for you.
如果这事不是那么美好，那她就不是适合你的女孩
Hey, wait. Where's your earring?
嘿，等等，你的耳钉哪去了
I took it out.
我把它拿掉了
And the henna wouldn't come off,
指甲花手绘洗不掉
so you'll just have to imagine that's gone, too.
所以你就想象它们都没有了吧
I thought it looked great.
我感觉还是挺漂亮的
Honestly, I'm not really into any of that beauty stuff.
说实话，我不是真的喜欢那些化妆的东西
But you should totally go for it. You're good at it.
但是你可以坚持做下去，你很擅长这事
And after I'm done being grounded,
当我的禁足结束以后
if you want to do something that's not lame,
如果你想做什么不那么逊的事
like watch basketball or whatever,
像是看篮球或是其他的
I'd be down.
我都陪你
By the way, I heard Shaq wasn't really at the mall yesterday.
顺便说一句，我听说昨天奥尼尔没来商场
It was just some big black guy in a mustard-colored suit.
那只是个黑人男子穿着黄色的西装
Oh, I know. Dave was crying at the bus stop this morning.
哦，我知道，大卫因为这事今早在车站哭了
I mean, where do you even get a suit that color?
我的意思是，哪里能买到那个颜色的西装
And calling everybody "Cousin."
并且把每个人都叫做“表亲”
That guy knew what he was doing.
那个家伙绝对是故意的
Bam!
棒
I did it. I passed the test.
我成功了，我通过考试了
Congratulations! I knew you could do it!
恭喜，我就知道你可以的
We still have some of your cake left.
我们还剩下一些你的蛋糕呢
be best celebrating
做最棒的庆祝
Who did that?
谁做的
Who on earth improved this cake?
究竟是谁把蛋糕升级了
You did.
你做的
Star fighter to mission control.
星空战士呼叫任务控制
My radar's been shot out. I don't have eyes.
我的雷达被击中，失去探测
My shields are up, but I don't know for how long.
战舰防护盾启动，但是我不知道能撑多久
There's someone here who wants to talk to you.
有人想跟你说话
Honey, it's me.
亲，是我
You're the bravest star fighter ever.
你是最勇敢的星空战士
Come back for me and the kids. I love you.
要为了我和孩子回来啊，我爱你
I love you, too, Maureen.
我也爱你，莫林
Who's Maureen?!
谁是，莫林
I knew you were listening.
我知道你在听
Go to bed!
快睡觉
Star fighter out.
星空战士离线
Oh no I pressed the wrong button.
哦不，我按错按钮了
