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In some Asian households
在一些亚裔家庭里
science fair week is no joke.
科学成果周可是件很严肃的事
When your people invented everything
当大家发明着各种东西的时候
from gunpowder to sudafed
从火药到感冒药
nobody is cool with you phoning it in.
如果你不下劲儿，没人会喜欢的
Oh Luigi should we get married?
噢，路易吉，我们结婚吧
There's no rush-a! We have all the time in the world!
不用这么急嘛，我们在世上还有大把时光呢
Little do you know
你不知道了吧
she already has another suitor... death.
她已经有另一位求婚者了，死神
And with every grade competing
尤其是当各个年级都在竞争
and a pizza party on the line for the winner
而优胜者可以赢得一场披萨派对时
even the nice kids got cutthroat.
就算是好学生也有了危机感
I mean it's good but is it pizza party good?
我是说，这是不错，但是好到能赢得披萨派对吗
What up youngsters?
在干嘛呢，小伙子们
What are you making for the science fair Eddie?
你为科学成果展做了什么啊，埃迪
Oh crap! Science fair?!
噢，糟了，科学成果展
I thought you guys were just being nerds.
我还以为你们只是在当书呆子呢
It's both. Projects are due Monday.
都是吧，星期一就要交成果了
Monday?!
星期一
I thought we had six months to think of something!
我还以为我们有六个月来想课题呢
We did six months ago.
我们有啊，六个月前
Don't worry Eddie.
别担心，埃迪
I'll save you a slice of pizza.
我会给你留一块披萨的
Pizza is what they give to the winner.
披萨是给获胜者的奖励
I'm implying that I'll be the winner.
我在暗示，我将是获胜者
Maybe I still have some time to think of something.
或许我还有时间来想想应该做什么
She was pregnant.
她怀孕了的
And I said if you want it you're going to have to
然后我就说，如果你想要它，你就得
go and steal it back from that bird.
从那只鸟那儿偷回来
Yeah.
哈哈
Mr. Huang you are so funny.
黄先生，你太逗了
Oh Vanessa you're just saying that 'cause I'm the boss.
噢，凡妮莎，你这么说不过是因为我是老板
No I'm not.
不，不是这样的
I think that the sexiest part about a man is his funny bone.
我觉得男人最性感的地方就是幽默细胞
Mm. I bet you have a big bone.
嗯，我敢说你的幽默细胞一定大大的
Funny you should say that.
你这么说真是有先见之明
I do have unusually large bones.
我的骨架确实很大
It runs in my family.
这是家族遗传
You should've seen my grandfather...
你真应该去看看我爷爷
Bones like cinder blocks.
骨头就像煤砖一样
Went swimming one time. Sunk like a stone.
有次去游泳的时候，像石头一样沉下去了
Died.
死了
Anyway keep up the good work!
总之，继续好好工作吧
Hey Louis guess what?
嘿，路易斯，你猜怎么着
Oscar Chow is coming to Orlando!
奥斯卡·周要来奥兰多了
Oscar Chow from college?
大学里那个奥斯卡·周
Yes!
对啊
He called me this morning.
他今天早上给我打电话了
I was gonna invite him to stay with us
我正要邀请他来我们家住一阵子
but I wasn't sure if you'd be comfortable.
但我担心你会不会觉得不舒服
Oh why would I not be comfortable?
噢，我为什么会觉得不舒服
I'm like a bean bag chair... Almost always comfortable.
我像个懒骨头沙发一样，没有不舒服的时候
Because Oscar and I used to date.
因为奥斯卡是我的旧情人
We were like Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in "Ghost"
我们那时候爱得像《人鬼情未了》里的帕特里克·斯韦兹和黛米·摩尔一样
except we were alive and in college.
除了我们都是活的而且是在大学里
Oh that? Ancient history. I love Oscar.
噢，你说的那些都是陈芝麻烂谷子的事了，我喜欢奥斯卡
Okay. Good.
是吗，真棒
Uh bad news boss. Mitch is out sick with the chickenpox.
呃，坏消息，老板，米奇得水痘了
Poor Mitch.
可怜的米奇
Even when it comes to viruses he's an ideal host.
即使是对病毒而言他都是个理想的宿主
I couldn't help overhearing
我忍不住偷听了一点
because well I was listening.
因为，好吧，我刚刚在听你们说话
I think it's great
我觉得路易斯
that Louis isn't one of those jealous types.
不是那种爱吃醋人这是件好事
Because if one of my exes came to visit
因为如果我的某个前任来造访的话
well Herb would probably
赫伯可能直接又
just drive his car right into the lake again.
开着他的车往湖里冲了
You know how herb gets.
你知道赫伯的性子
Yes. Herb.
是的，赫伯
Thanks again for letting me borrow
再次感谢你让我借用
your air mattress Honey.
你的空气垫，亲爱的
I should get my own but I am very cheap.
我本应该拿我自己的，但是我是个小器的人
No problem.
没事儿
You have relatives in town for the weekend?
你周末有亲戚要来吗
Oh no. This is actually for my college ex-boyfriend Oscar.
噢，不是，这个其实是给我大学前男友奥斯卡用的
I would have him stay on the sofa bed
我本想让他睡沙发的
but Eddie spilled oyster sauce on it
但是埃迪把蚝油酱撒沙发上了
so now it smells like an aquarium.
所以现在沙发闻着一股水族馆味儿
Wow and Louis is okay with that?
哇噢，路易斯不介意吗
Well he was upset at first
这个嘛，他一开始是不开心
but you know how oyster sauce is.
但你也知道蚝油酱是什么样的
You can scrub and scrub...
你就算一直擦，一直擦
Uh no. No I meant about your ex-boyfriend staying with you.
呃，不，不是这个，我是说你的前男友来住的事
Marvin would never let any of my ex-boyfriends stay with us.
马文这辈子绝对不会让我前男友来跟我们住的
He's too jealous.
他太容易吃醋了
Nancy said the same thing about Herb.
南茜说赫伯也是这样
Who's Nancy? Herb's girlfriend.
南茜是谁？赫伯的女朋友
Ah. Oh Marvin thinks I'm such a catch
啊，噢，马文觉得我太受欢迎了
that other men can't be trusted around me.
别的男人在我身边都把持不住
That's terrible.
这真糟糕
Yeah.
是啊
Terrible.
太糟糕了
Anyway um you should feel lucky
总之，呃，你应该感到幸运
that you don't have to deal with that from Louis.
你不用跟你们家路易斯纠结这个
Yes.
是啊
Lucky.
幸运
If you need a second opinion
如果你需要意见
you should ask
你应该去问问
one of the other kids building a volcano.
其他在做火山的孩子
I hear it's this year's "Potato battery."
我听说大家都在做火山
Make some noise for the power of science!
为科学的力量喝彩吧
What is that?
那是什么
It's a football and it's a phone!
是个橄榄球，也是个电话
Eddie you need to apply yourself.
埃迪，你需要上进点
If you keep looking for shortcuts
如果你一直想着抄小道的话
you'll never realize your potential.
你永远也不会发掘潜能成就自我的
Where'd you learn that? Oprah?
你从哪儿学的这些，奥普拉吗
Barney.
巴尼
On Oprah.
在奥普拉脱口秀上
What's your project huh?
你的作品是什么
Watch.
看仔细了
It breaks down Dr. Pepper into its 23 individual flavors.
它把胡椒博士饮料分解成了23种单独的味道
You're not gonna believe this. One of them isn't pepper.
你绝对不会相信，没有一个是胡椒味
Damn son! You unlocked the doc!
天呐，孩子，你解密了胡椒博士
Ugh!
唉
There goes my pizza party.
我的披萨派对飞了
There's no way I'm beating Evan now.
我现在不可能打败埃文的
Yo.
哟
What's that on your arm?
你手臂上的是什么
Mm.
不知道
Chickenpox.
水痘
Need to work on... project.
我需要继续完成我的科技作品
The only things you need are bed rest
你现在要做的就是好好躺着休息
ironically chicken soup
喝点鸡汤
and the healing powers of white flower oil.
等着白花油药效发挥
But it smells. Shh.
可它太难闻了，嘘
Focus on absorbing the oil.
专注吸收白花油
Science fair.
科学成果展
No science fair.
别管科学成果展了
Yes! Look like I'm winning the pizza party!
耶，看起来我要赢得那场披萨派对了
What? I can't have a dark side?
什么，我就不能有阴暗面么
Okay everybody we can't have Oscar Chow staying
好了，大家，我们不能让奥斯卡
in a house full of invalids.
待在充满病患的房子里
So everybody out. Grandma's room is now a quarantine zone.
所以你们每个人都出去，奶奶的房间现在是隔离病房
Like "Outbreak." Great movie.
就像《极度恐慌》里演的那样，那电影太棒了
Is that the one with the cute monkey?
是那部有很可爱的猴子的电影吗
Emery if you ever see a monkey like that
埃默里，如果你见到了那样的猴子
you run okay?
赶紧跑，知道吗
You run and you don't look back.
赶紧跑而且不要回头
And stay away from Evan because he is contagious.
而且离埃文远点儿，他会传染的
Your mother's right.
你老妈说得对
We don't want you boys missing the science fair.
我们不想让你们错过科学成果展
You can't stay in this room or you're gonna get chickenpox.
你们不能待在这个房间里，不然你们也会得水痘的
Guys come on let's go! Get out of there.
伙计们，来啊，快走，离开这里
Oscar will be here any minute.
奥斯卡过会儿就要来了
Oh boy. Oscar Chow. What a guy.
噢，奥斯卡·周，好家伙
So I thought I would take Oscar jacuzzi shopping
我想着我带奥斯卡去你曾经试过的
at that place that lets you test drive the jacuzzi.
那家卖按摩浴缸的店买按摩浴缸
I think I'll wear my red bikini.
我会穿那件红色的比基尼
Hmm. Is Oscar looking for a jacuzzi?
嗯，奥斯卡要买按摩浴缸吗
He's gonna have to ship it.
他还得把它运回去呢
Well maybe we'll go for massages afterwards.
也许我们之后还能去按摩按摩
Hmm shiatsu.
唔，指压按摩
Did you know there's a-a ranch in Japan
你知道在日本有个大农场
where they massage the cows?
他们给奶牛按摩吗
Talk about lucky cows.
幸运的奶牛啊
Are you sure you're not jealous Louis?
你确定你不吃醋吗，路易斯
It's okay if you are.
你要是吃醋的话也没啥
Jealous of Oscar?
吃奥斯卡的醋
No.
不
Because you know they say you never get over your first love.
因为，你知道的，人们总说初恋是很难忘怀的
Mm. My first love was Dolly Parton.
嗯，我初恋是多莉·帕顿
What a butt.
屁股真大啊
Be more jealous!
你倒是吃醋啊
Why aren't you more jealous?!
你为什么不吃醋呢
You want me to be jealous of Oscar?
你想我吃奥斯卡的醋
Jessica that's crazy.
杰西卡，这太疯狂了
Oh so it's so crazy
噢，别的男人可能觉得
that other men might find me attractive?
我很有吸引力这件事有这么的疯狂咯
No.
不是这意思
Oscar!
奥斯卡
Did somebody say "Croquembouche"?
有人说了泡芙塔吗
The sugar is the scaffolding.
我可是用糖浆堆起来的哦
And these are for you Eddie.
这些是送给你的，埃迪
I don't know if boys are still into wind chimes these days
我不知道现在的男孩子们是不是还喜欢风铃
but I hope their gentle tinklings
但我希望它们温柔的铃声
will always remind you of home.
能永远让你想起家乡
Uh...
唔
He loves them!
他很喜欢
Thank you Oscar!
谢谢你，奥斯卡
So thoughtful.
这么体贴
So attentive.
这么用心
So Oscar what brings you to Orlando?
奥斯卡，什么风把你吹到奥兰多来了
I'm auditioning for
我来试镜
the "Aladdin" Ice show spectacular.
大型冰展里的阿拉丁一角
Oh!
噢
It's going to be my big break. I can just feel it.
这将会是我的翻身之作，我能感觉到
Well you were always such an athlete.
你一直都是如此的身强体健
Well I'm gonna go freshen up.
好了，我要去梳洗一下了
Boys uh show Oscar to the guest bathroom.
孩子们，呃，带奥斯卡去客房浴室
We have a guest bathroom?
我们有客房浴室吗
The bathroom.
就是浴室
You don't see it?
你难道没有看出来吗
See what?
看出什么
Jessica he's gay.
杰西卡，他是个同性恋
Oscar Chow is very very gay.
奥斯卡·周的言行举止都非常的基佬
Gay? That's ridiculous. Oscar is not gay.
基佬，那真是太可笑了，奥斯卡他不是同性恋
We dated for an entire summer in college.
我们在大学里谈了一整个夏天的恋爱
Did he ever kiss you?
他有亲过你吗
Of course he... Forehead doesn't count.
当然了，他，亲额头不算，
He's a gentleman!
他是个绅士
Jessica everyone knows you have a blind spot
杰西卡，所有人都知道你看不出来
when it comes to gay people.
谁是同性恋
Your gaydar is broken. You can't tell if someone's gay.
你的同志雷达崩坏了，你没法辨别出谁是同性恋
Well that is not true.
呵，才不是这样
Boys stop fighting!
孩子们，不要打架了
Why can't you be more like them?
为什么你们就不能学着更像他们一点
So nice to see brothers getting along.
看到兄弟之间如此相处真是太好了
goodbye yellow brick road # yeah well I think that...
再见，黄砖路#没错，好的，我觉得，
where the dogs of society howl
社会上的狗崽子在嚎叫
Watch out Louis!
小心，路易斯
You can't plant me in your penthouse
你不能把我安置在你的阁楼里
A gang!
他们是黑社会
I'm going back to my plough
我要回去耕作
I don't get it. This movie has nothing to do with Philadelphia.
我不明白，这部电影和费城一点儿关系也没有
Shh!
嘘
They should put Rocky in this movie. It would liven things up.
他们应该在电影里加入洛基，才能让气氛都活跃起来
That doesn't prove anything just because...
这能证明什么，只因为
Wait. Who was gay in "Philadelphia"?
等等，在《费城故事》里谁是基佬
How's my favorite little brother do...
我最喜欢的弟弟好点了吗
I know you want my chickenpox
我知道你想得水痘
so you can get out of the science fair.
这样你就能逃避科学成果展了
Great. Then we're on the same page.
太棒了，你总算了解我了
Now give me those sweet pox.
赶紧把可爱的痘痘传染给我吧
Sorry Eddie. I don't want to see you waste your potential.
抱歉，埃迪，我不想看到你浪费你自己的潜力
But the science fair's on Friday and I got no ideas!
但是科学成果展就在周五，我一点儿思路都没有
Science is all around us.
科学就在我们身边
Ugh!
啊
Besides I'm saving my germs for someone else.
况且，我的水痘病毒可是特地留给某人的
So beautiful. So tragic.
太凄美了
Is this science?
这是科学么
I can't believe we're still having this conversation.
我真不敢相信我们还在讨论这些
He's a dancer auditioning for "Aladdin" On ice.
他是个来试镜“阿拉丁”的舞蹈演员
Dat dude gay.
他弯得不能再弯了
He is an athlete auditioning for "Aladdin"
他是个参加“阿拉丁”试镜的运动员
which is very physically demanding.
这对身体素质要求很高的
So much carpet.
站在魔毯上不倒是需要技巧的
Jessica the closest Oscar ever got to being an athlete
杰西卡，奥斯卡最近接近运动员的一次
was coaching high school cheerleading in college.
是在大学里训练高中拉拉队
The man practically invented "The flying Liza."
那个男人几乎还发明了“飞翔的丽莎”动作
He's straight Louis and you better watch out.
他是直男路易斯，而你最好要小心了
If you're not careful Oscar might steal me
如果你不小心点的话，奥斯卡可能会抢走我
from right underneath your little...
就从你那小小的内心里
I hope you don't mind that I borrowed this robe.
我希望你们不介意我借一下这浴袍
Very swish.
太漂亮了
Oh my God. Oscar Chow is gay.
噢，我的天哪，奥斯卡·周是同性恋
Um duh!
额，废话
and then a hero comes along
然后一位英雄出现了
with the strength to carry...
拥有力量去承担
Aah!
啊
Evan! I made you an oatmeal bath!
埃文，我给你弄个燕麦浴
Coming daddy!
这就来，爸爸
Take that Emery.
受着吧，埃默里
Wait. Eddie?!
等等，埃迪
Take that science.
拜拜啦，科学
Whoo!
喔
H-how did I miss that Oscar was gay?
我怎么会没看出来奥斯卡是同性恋
There must have been clues.
肯定会有迹可循的
Well that's maybe a clue.
好吧，这可能就是迹象
And that.
还有这个
I feel so silly. Oh.
我真是太蠢了，噢
Aw! This is a nice one.
啊，这个真不错
I would recognize that look anywhere.
我无论在任何地方都能看出那种神情
That is the look of love.
那是爱的神情
Yeah but he's not looking at me.
是的，但是他不是在看我
I wonder who he was looking at.
我想知道他当时在看谁
Oh my God.
噢，我的天哪
Damn.
你完了
Oh girl.
噢，亲
Hello chickenpox...
你好啊，水痘
What the hell?!
搞什么鬼
Evan you were supposed to give me...
埃文，你应该传染给我的
Not now Eddie. Your brother has the chickenpox.
别咋呼，埃迪，你弟弟得了水痘
What?!
什么
Nice work germs.
干得好，病毒们
Is uh everything okay?
你，没事吧
I didn't sleep at all last night.
我昨晚根本没睡着
Oh. Well let me make you some coffee
噢，好吧，让我给你泡些咖啡
in my new French press that Oscar bought me.
用奥斯卡买给我的新的法式压滤壶
It's amazing.
真是太神奇了
I don't see the guy for 10 years
我已经十年没见他了
and he still remembers how I like my coffee.
而他仍记得我有多喜欢喝咖啡
He's in love with you Louis!
他深爱着你，路易斯
Jessica don't be crazy.
杰西卡，别闹了
I think I would know if Oscar Chow was in love with me.
如果奥斯卡喜欢我的话我会知道的
No you wouldn't.
不，你不会的
Everybody knows you have a blind spot
地球人都知道一旦涉及爱情
when it comes to love.
这对你来说就是盲点
Your lovedar is broken. My what?
你的爱情雷达崩坏了，我的什么
Your lovedar. You can't tell when people like you.
你的爱情雷达，你没法察觉出谁喜欢你
It took six kayak trips before you realized I liked you.
经过六次皮艇旅行你才意识到我喜欢你
I just thought you loved rapids.
我一直以为你喜欢漂流
Who loves rapids?
谁会喜欢漂流
And remember Amy Johnson from college?
还记得大学里的艾米·约翰逊
She liked you too.
她也喜欢你
Amy Johnson liked me? Mm-hmm.
艾米·约翰逊喜欢我，嗯姆
She was hot.
她超级性感
Hey Oscar remember boobie Johnson from college?
嘿，奥斯卡，还记得大学里的大胸约翰逊吗
Apparently she had a thing for me.
很显然，她对我有好感
Um duh Louis.
额，你傻啊，路易斯
All the girls had a thing for you.
所有的女孩都对你有好感
But none of them could have you
但是她们中没有一个能够拥有你
because you were dating me.
因为你当时正在和我约会
Okay wait. Oscar I'm really confused.
好吧，等等，奥斯卡，我真的困惑了
I am so sorry if you misunderstood our relationship.
如果你误解了我们的关系的话我真是太抱歉了
I didn't misunderstand anything.
我没有误解任何事
We dated for three months.
我们约了三个月的会
I introduced you to my parents.
我还把你介绍给了我的家长
As your friend! Nothing romantic ever happened!
那是作为你的朋友，没有任何男女之情在里面
Have you forgotten about our Friday dinner dates?
你忘记了我们每周五的晚餐约会吗
You mean "Frinner" Friends-dinner?
你是说那个“友谊晚餐”朋友之间的晚餐吗
We always split dessert.
我们总是把甜点分着吃
Because we were broke!
因为我们没钱了
I love sharing desserts with you Louis.
我喜欢和你分享甜点，路易斯
Me too. So affordable.
我也是，这真省钱
We're just old friends.
我们只是老朋友
You think I buy $150 French presses
你认为我买了150美元的法式滤压器
for old friends?
只是送给老朋友吗
Wait so you bought Louis a $150 French press
等等，所以你买给路易斯150美元的法式滤压器
and all I get
然后给我的
is an Orlando sweatshirt?
只是件奥兰多运动衫吗
I live in Orlando.
我住在奥兰多
It was all they had at the airport.
机场里只卖这些衣服
At the airport?!
机场买的
I'm sorry Oscar but I never had those feelings for you.
我很抱歉，奥斯卡，但我从没有对你产生过那样的感情
You know when I came down here to visit you Louis
你知道吗，当我远道而来看你，路易斯
I didn't expect a rewriting of history.
我并不期待我们重温旧梦
If anybody wants me
如果有人来找我
I'll be in the guest bathroom feeling humiliated.
就说我在客房浴室里，忍受着屈辱
Oh come on Oscar.
噢，别这样，奥斯卡
Oh.
噢
Oh you... just want your juice. Okay.
噢，你，只是来拿果汁，好吧
Well you were right not to feel jealous.
好吧，你不嫉妒是对的
What are you talking about? All this time
你们在说什么，一直以来
I just wanted you to see what a catch I was
我只是想让你明白我有多抢手
but now I realize
但是现在我明白了
that the real catch has always been you.
真正抢手的人是你
I was just enjoying my French press and...
我只是在享受我的法式滤压器，这也错了吗
What am I gonna do?
我该怎么办
The science fair is in two hours and I got nothing!
科学成果展两小时之后就要开始了，而我什么都没做
I can't even find my football phone.
我甚至连我的橄榄球电话都找不到了
You can enter my volcano into the science fair Eddie.
你可以在科学成果展上展示我做的火山，埃迪
The world deserves to see it. Tight! Thank you.
它不能被埋没了，正好，谢谢
Okay walk me through it.
好了，跟我讲讲吧
Okay so you know how the earth's crust is broken up
没问题，你知道地壳是如何分裂
into 17 tectonic... Let me stop you right there.
成了十七块的吗，我先打断一下
Too complicated. No one's gonna believe I made that.
太复杂了，谁都不会相信那是我做的
Oh fine. Come over here and I'll cough in your ear.
那好吧，靠近点让我把病传染给你好了
It's too late for that.
已经太晚了
The incubation period for chickenpox
水痘的潜伏期
is at least 48 hours.
最少48小时
This sucks. I did everything right.
真无语，该做的我都做了
I even went to the library and researched it.
我甚至跑去图书馆做了一些调查
Wait. You did research?
等等，你做了调查
That's how I knew the virus was airborne.
所以我才知道这病毒是通过空气传播的
I should be covered in a skin rash
我应该从躯干开始
that starts at my torso
发一身的疹子
and works its way down to my limbs
然后在接下来的三到七天里
in a period of three to seven days.
蔓延到我的四肢上
Damn you varicella zoster virus!
去你妹的，带状疱疹病毒
What?
什么
Eddie you may not have caught the chickenpox
埃迪，你可能没得水痘
but you caught something better...
但是你得到了更好的东西
Knowledge.
知识
Oh snap! I accidentally learned!
别说了，那是我不小心学到的
But I still don't have a project.
但是我还是没有项目可做
Well lucky for you we Huangs have science in our blood.
你运气真好，我们黄家人流着科学的血脉
Evan?
埃文
I need poster boards markers and glitter glue.
我需要硬纸板，马克笔还有胶水
We have 90 minutes gentlemen. Let's make 'em count.
我们还有90分钟，先生们，我们得抓紧时间了
Come on! Whoo!
来吧，哇哦
I mean I just didn't see it.
我是说，我根本没察觉到
I can't believe my lovedar was broken for so long.
我不敢相信我的爱情雷达竟然坏这么久
Well I am so glad that it's fixed now.
我很高兴它现在被修好了
You and me both.
我也很高兴
Well thank you for keeping my knee warm.
感谢你让我的膝盖没被冻着
Hopefully you can return the favor.
希望你能记得报答我
Gladly.
我很乐意
The old Huang fire rub.
黄氏点穴手
Ow. Ow. Ow.
噢，噢，噢
Okay it feels weird. Really?
好吧，这感觉很奇怪，真的么
No. It's not...
不，真的不
It doesn't feel good.
这感觉真的不怎么样
I...
我
Hello Louis.
嗨，路易斯
Oscar. What are you doing here?
奥斯卡，你在这干嘛呢
Room for dessert?
想吃甜点吗
I'm sorry about storming out before.
我很抱歉上次我发火了
I let my emotions get the best of me.
我的情感战胜了我的理智
Look I know nothing ever happened between us
我知道我们之间并没有燃起火花
but I was confused about who I was
我只是对自己的性取向有点困惑
and I felt safe around you.
我觉得在你身边很有安全感
Well that explains all the couples Halloween costumes.
所以那些万圣节情侣装能解释清楚了
We made a great wham!
我们一夜成名
I guess Jessica was right. I do have a blind spot
我想杰西卡是对的，当别人对我有感觉的时候
when it comes to people having feelings for me.
我从来没有察觉到过
I'm sorry if I made things difficult for you Oscar.
如果我让你有了困扰，我很抱歉，奥斯卡
Difficult? You helped me realize who I am.
困扰，你帮助我意识到了我是谁
Without you I never would've felt confident enough
如果没有你，我绝对不会像现在这样
to come out to the world.
自信地出柜
Hmm.
嗯
And seeing what a great family you and Jessica have
我看到你和杰西卡的幸福家庭
it gives me hope
这给了我希望
that one day I could find that with somebody too.
或许有一天我也能找到我的他建立家庭
He's out there
他一定会出现的
and I'm jealous of all the delicious French pastries
我很嫉妒未来的那个男人可以尝到
that guy has in his future.
所有美味的法式甜馅饼
Do you know where Jessica is?
你知道杰西卡在哪吗
I'd really like to explain things to her as well.
我也想好好跟她解释一下
There's a bar she goes to sometimes
当她心情不好的时候
when she's feeling low.
就会去一家酒吧
Does she know this is a... No.
她知道这是个同性恋吧吗，不
Buy you a drink?
我请你喝杯酒吧
No thanks.
不了，谢谢
People have been buying me drinks all day.
一整天都有人请我喝酒
The women here are so sweet.
这里的女人们太善良了
These two sperm bags giving you any trouble?
这两个臭男人来找你麻烦吗
What's the matter?
有什么事吗
You guys tired of running the world?
你们这群臭男人厌倦统治世界了吗
I'm a gay Asian okay?
我是个亚裔同性恋，好吗
The only thing I run is half-marathons.
我唯一能跑的就是半个马拉松
Proceed. Thanks Bev.
坚持下去，谢谢，贝夫
That's why I like to come here.
这就是为什么我喜欢来这
I can have a drink without being bothered.
我可以不被打扰的安静地喝杯酒
Plus it's all women so... I feel safe.
另外，这里全是女人，所以我觉得很安全
I said I closed out 18.
我说了我六点要关门
The hell you did!
你他妈的才怪
Aah!
啊
We should've never moved in together so soon!
我们不应该这么快就住在一起的
I just don't understand.
我就是不明白了
If you knew you were gay then why did you even date me?
如果你知道你自己是同性恋，那为什么还和我约会
Was it because you felt bad for me?
是因为你同情我吗
Felt bad for you?
同情你
Jessica I'm gonna let you in on a little gay secret.
杰西卡，我想分享给你一些同性恋的小秘密
Rule number one of being in the closet...
出柜规则第一条
If you don't want anyone to suspect you're gay
如果你不希望任何人怀疑你是同性恋
date the hottest girl in school.
就和学校里最火辣的女孩约会
Boobie Johnson?
大胸约翰逊吗
No you.
不，是你
You know gay men are not the only ones
你要知道，不是只有同性恋男人们
who wanna date the hottest girl in school.
想和学校里最火辣的女孩约会
Or at least take her kayaking half a dozen times.
或者至少带她划几次皮划艇
So what you're saying is
所以你们想说的是
it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight.
不管你们是同性恋还是直男
The one thing we can all agree on
我们都能够确定的唯一一件事就是
is that I am hot.
我很火辣
You need me to do something about this?
需要我帮你解决这些人吗
Oh no this is my husband and my ex-boyfriend.
不，这是我丈夫和我前男友
Okay. Bev and I are going through a rough patch.
好吧，贝夫和我正在度过难关
She took the Tacoma. I don't know where she went.
她把皮卡车开走了，我不知道她去了哪儿
Uh... let's go.
我们还是走吧
I don't like the way this lady's looking at you.
我不喜欢那女人看你的眼神
Louis Huang... Are you jealous?
路易斯·黄，你这是吃醋了吗
I don't have to be jealous.
我不需要吃别人的醋
It's everybody else who should be jealous... of me.
应该是其他所有人吃我的醋
I got the best one.
我已经拥有了世界上最美好的
But I am also the hottest one.
但是我也是最火辣的
Yes you are also the hottest one.
没错，你是最火辣的
Yo yo yo!
哟哟哟
The pizza party?! Oh my gosh Eddie. You won?
比萨派对吗，我的天，艾迪你赢了吗
No Cindy Horowitz did.
没有，辛迪·霍洛维茨赢了
She taught a bird how to use a calculator.
她教会了一只鸟怎么用计算器
I got a "C" -plus.
我拿了C+
But at least I had a project.
但至少我有项目拿得出手
I picked this up for you guys on the way home.
我回家的路上给你们买了这个
Dig in yo. Yay!
快来吃吧，耶
Evan you can't have dairy!
埃文，你不能碰奶制品
If an angry pizza delivery boy shows up you don't know me.
如果有个炸毛的比萨外卖小哥来了，你就说不认识我
From way up here
这里的山路十八弯
it's crystal clear
我的心境亮闪闪
that now I'm in a whole...
而我却在这里
That's my ex-boyfriend.
这是我的前男友哦
With you
与你相依
Mine too.
也是我的
Thanks guys!
谢谢大家
Fingers crossed!
愿真神保佑你们
I've got a really good feeling about this audition.
我对这次试唱会感到很满意
