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We've been here all day. I've answered all of your questions.
我们都在这呆了快一天了，你所有的问题我都回答了
Can I please just have my citizenship?
我能获得美国公民身份了吗
I'm sorry it's taking so much time, ma'am.
抱歉，女士，耽误了您这么长时间
Everything seems to be in order.
看起来没什么问题了
Hold that stamp!
先别盖章
Mrs. Huang, I need to ask you a few more questions
黄太太，我还得再问你几个有关于
regarding your criminal record.
你的犯罪记录的问题
Right now? Mm-hmm.
现在吗，恩
Can it wait?
能不能等会儿
Well, what did Sandy order for lunch?
桑迪中午点啥了
All right, I'll just have what Sandy's having.
好吧，桑迪吃啥我吃啥
No, you know what?
还是别了
I'll take a rack of ribs.
我来一个烤肋排吧
Which one? The blue one.
选哪个，蓝的
They're both blue. I made my choice.
这俩全是蓝的，我已经选过了
I just want to look perfect for your citizenship interview.
我只是想在你的公民资格面试上看起来完美
This is a big moment for you.
这对你来说可是很重要的时刻
You're like an immigrant caterpillar,
你就像是一个移民毛毛虫
and now you'll be an American butterfly.
现在终于要破茧成为美国蝴蝶了
Why must every single moment of our lives be so sentimental?
为什么咱们生活里的每个时刻都得这么矫情
Getting my citizenship, moving to Orlando, Eddie's first word.
获得公民身份，搬到奥兰多，埃迪第一次说话
Which was "Thug life," By the way.
顺便提一下，我当时说的是“暴徒生活”
I'm gonna need you to confirm that if anyone from school asks.
如果学校里有任何人问起，你就得这么回答
I still don't understand
我还是不明白
how Mom is not a citizen if I'm a citizen.
为什么我是公民身份，而我妈不是
Because you boys were born here.
因为你们是在这个国家出生的
And I'm a citizen because
我有公民身份是因为
I applied for the green card lottery and then I naturalized.
我申请了绿卡抽奖，然后我就入籍了
And after that, I sponsored Grandma,
那之后我给你们奶奶做了担保
who also then naturalized to become a citizen.
然后你们奶奶就也入籍有公民身份了
And now she gets to stay here forever.
现在她就能永远呆在这了
But your mom is a permanent resident with a green card.
但是你们的妈妈是一个持有绿卡的永久居民
Remember when we got your green card?
你还记得咱们拿到你的绿卡的时候
How they took us into separate gray rooms
他们是怎么把咱俩分开带到灰色的房间里
and grilled us about how we met.
然后拷问我们咱俩是怎么认识的吗
Tell us the story of how you guys met again.
再讲一遍你们是怎么认识的
It's my favorite love story, after "My Girl," Of course.
这是我最喜欢的爱情故事，当然啦仅次于《我的女孩》
Emery, please, don't get him started.
埃默里，拜托，别打开他的话匣子
It was a crisp autumn day.
那是一个爽朗的秋天
We went to the same college but didn't even know it
我们上的是同一所大学，但彼此并不认识
until the rotten octopus of fate
直到那个命中注定的腐烂章鱼
reached out its food-poisoned tentacles
伸出了有毒的触须
and pulled us together.
将我们两个拉在了一起
It was love at first sight.
那时是一见钟情
For you, maybe.
你可能是吧
I was busy being sick from the waist down.
我当时就是忙着肚子疼
After an explosive start and a lengthy courtship,
在一个激情的开始和漫长的求爱期之后
she finally accepted my proposal.
她终于接受我的求婚了
I know you've said no five times already,
我知道你已经拒绝了我五次
but I'm gonna keep asking.
但我还是要继续求婚
Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
Yes. I will marry you.
嗯，我愿意嫁给你
It was magical.
真是太神奇了
Even your mom was a little teary.
就连你们妈妈都有点眼泪汪汪的了
The ring was pinching my finger.
戒指紧箍着我的手指
We took the world by storm.
我们像暴风一样席卷世界
We bought a mini van.
我们买了辆面包车
Because I wanted so many kids.
因为我想要很多孩子
I told him shop closed after two.
我和他说就两个，不能再多了
So what made you decide to have me?
那是什么让你决定生下我的
White wine. And now here we are.
白葡萄酒，所以就是现在这样啦
Why do you have to romanticize everything?
你为啥什么事都要浪漫化
You proposed several times, I said no,
你求了几次婚，我说不
you wore me down, I said yes.
你把我弄烦了，我就答应了
True love is worth fighting for.
真爱值得争取
See? You're doing it again.
看，你又来了
Deja vu.
这就叫似曾相识
Just don't tell these stories in the interview.
只要面试的时候别讲这些就行了
I want it to go quick.
我想速战速决
The immigration office is on the bad side of town,
移民办公室可是在穷人区
so I want to hit the 99-cent store
我还想去逛逛九十九美分商店
and then fill up the Accord with the cheap, cheap gas.
然后给雅阁车加上便宜的汽油
Why aren't you dressed for school?
你们怎么还不换衣服去上学
Oh, we're not going to school today.
哦，我们今天不去学校
Why do you test me like this?
你们为什么要这么对我
Three words. Teacher training day.
五个字，教师培训日
Another one?
又来
How many days off a year do these fat-cat teachers get?
你们那些有钱有势的老师一年得放多少假
Well, it's important that they train.
培训对于老师来说是很重要的
Oh, let's see.
是吗，我们想一想
When's another time they could possibly train?
他们有没有其他时间可以用来培训的
Oh, maybe during the entire summer that they get off.
诶，整个暑假的时间都可以啊
Okay, okay, we're gonna be late for your appointment.
好吧，好吧，咱们快迟到了
Let's go. Ma, we're gonna be gone all day.
走吧，妈，我们得出去一整天
Can you keep an eye on the boys?
您能不能看着点儿孩子们
Just pretend like you don't understand Mandarin
就假装你听不懂普通话
and back away.
然后撤退
What is this?
你们在干嘛
We're getting a jump on
我们在提前写
what we think next week's homework will be.
我们预测的下周的作业
We're just guessing.
我们就是猜猜而已
You guys need to learn how to dream.
你俩得学学如何做梦
How often do we get a day off of school
多久我们才能有一天假
and Mom and Dad are out of the house?
同时爸爸妈妈还不在家
Never.
从来没有
Eddie's right.
埃迪说得对
How about after math,
不然做完数学之后
we reward ourselves with a little cheese string par-tay?
我们奖励一下自己，来一个奶酪串派对
I can't eat cheese,
我不能吃奶酪
but I'll pretend to smoke it like a cigar.
但是我能用来假装在抽雪茄
First of all, I finished all the string cheese.
第一，所有的奶酪串全让我干掉了
Second, you need to think bigger.
第二，你们得想点儿更好玩的
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
这可是有生之年就一次的机会啊
We're gonna take Mom and Dad's mini van for a ride.
我们开爸妈的面包车兜风去吧
Are you crazy?
你疯了吗
You know Grandma's home.
你知道奶奶在家的吧
She's neck deep in perfume.
她都快被香水埋起来了
She'll be in her room all day.
她会在房间里呆一天的
But none of us even know how to drive.
但是咱们都没人会开车啊
Evan, you know I'm an amazing driver.
埃文，你知道我开车多厉害的
You've seen me play Mario Kart.
你可是见过我玩马里奥赛车的
Scoreboard don't lie, son.
记分板可不会撒谎
He does always banana my red shells.
他的确总是撞翻我的红壳
Come on. Brothers road trip?
来嘛，我们来一次兄弟自驾游
I guess I will build some memories, like the Hardy Boys.
我想我可以留下一些难忘的回忆了，就像《哈迪男孩》一样
And we can go to Hardee's.
我们还可以去哈迪家玩
I don't know.
我不知道
You can use your AAA card for discounts on the road.
在路上，你可以用你美国汽车协会的会员卡打折
I'll grab my motion-sickness pills.
我去拿我的晕车药
Mrs. Huang, Mr. Huang.
黄太太，黄先生
Cheese.
笑一笑
Actually, photography is prohibited.
事实上，这里是禁止照相的
This is a government building. You understand.
这是政府办公楼，你懂的
Oh, right. Of course I understand.
喔，我当然明白
All right, let's get this going.
好的，那咱们开始吧
I already submitted the forms
一周前我已经递交了表格
and pre-paid the processing fee a week ago.
也提前支付了审理费
Also, I put $1 into the meter.
我还往机子里放了一美元
I only have 45 minutes and I will not go over.
我只有四十五分钟，而且我不打算再来一遍了
Well, that should be plenty of time.
恩，那时间应该是挺充裕的
We just need you to confirm
我们就是需要你确认一些
some of the information we have on file.
我们资料上的信息
Yes, love to. First question.
好的，非常乐意，第一个问题
Okay, it says here your first entry into the U.S.
好，这上面显示你来美国的第一个签证
was on a Student Visa.
是学生签证
Correct. Business major, Maryland College.
对的，商科专业，马里兰大学
Second question. Business?
第二个问题，商科
I would've thought it would've been teaching.
我还以为你学的是教育
Ha! As if.
哈，就跟真的似的
Is that from "Clueless"?
那是《独领风骚》里的梗吗
Did you know that is a playful reimagining
你知道那是一个对简·奥斯汀的《艾玛》的
of Jane Austen's "Emma"?
搞笑改编吗
Whatever.
随便吧
I'm just laughing because Jessica hates teachers.
我笑是因为杰西卡讨厌老师
It says here her first job in this country was teaching.
这写着她在这个国家的第一份工作是教师
Oh, is that all the questions?
哦，都问完了吗
Great, let's just wrap this up with the pledge of allegiance.
太好了，咱们赶紧做效忠誓言然后结束吧
I, Jessica, take you, the United States of America,
我，杰西卡，将你，美利坚合众国
as my lawfully wedded... country.
作为我合法的，结婚国家
You were a teacher?
你当过老师吗
You told me your first
你跟我说你的第一份
job was selling sandwiches at Orioles games.
工作是在金莺队比赛上卖三明治
Hey, if you believed that, then that's on you.
嘿，如果你这都相信就不怪我了
For as long as I've known you, you've hated teachers.
自打我认识你以来，你就讨厌老师
Louis, you have to understand, I was young, desperate.
路易斯，你要理解，我当时很年轻，也很绝望
I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
我不知道我要做什么
What happened?
发生什么了
My Student Visa was about to expire
我的学生签证快要过期了
and I had to find a way to stay in this country,
我必须要找一个方法继续留在这个国家
and one of my professor
我有一个教授
told me about a Specialty Occupation Visa.
和我说了专业职业签证
Means if you're in a profession that the U.S. Has a shortage of,
意思是如果你的职业在美国刚好是人手不够的
you can stay in the country. I know that, Doug.
你就能留在这个国家了，这个我知道，道格
And it just so happens that one of those professions...
然后就这么刚好，其中一个职业
is teacher.
是教师
It was my first day,
那是我第一天上班
and Honey was giving me a tour of the teacher's lounge.
哈妮带我熟悉了一下教师休息室
I saw Mitch, Marvin, and Deidre at the bar cart.
我看到米奇，马文，还有迪雅卓在饮料小推车那里
I just want to make it clear
我得说明一下
that those are the names of our current friends and neighbors,
那些名字是我们现在的朋友和邻居的
not the real people involved.
并不真的是他们
Basically all white people look the same to her.
对她来说，基本所有的白人都一样
Yeah, I get it.
恩，我懂了
People mix up me and my brother all the time.
人们老是把我和我哥哥弄混
That's why I started wearing contact lenses.
所以我开始戴隐形眼镜了
So, anyway, Honey was showing me how to whip up a Sanka.
总之，哈妮教我怎么搅一杯没有咖啡因的咖啡
And you just stir it right in.
你就这么搅拌进去
Astronauts call it brown Tang.
宇航员管这个叫做棕色刺尾鱼（尾巴上有尖尖的刺）
Aren't you gonna be late for your classes?
你们还不走啊，上课要迟到啦啊
No, we have a 20-minute grace period.
不，我们有二十分钟的宽限期
40 if it's sunny out.
如果阳光明媚就是四十分钟
Yeah, let's be honest.
是啊，实话跟你说吧
These kids don't want to learn and we don't want to teach.
这些孩子不想学习，我们也不想教
We just want to make it to 3:00 P.M.
我们就是想等到下午三点
What happens at 3:00 P.M.?
下午三点会怎么样
That's when we turn on some Jimmy Buffet
那时候我们就会听吉米·巴菲特的音乐
and get straight-up blasted!
然后喝个烂醉
It was at that moment I realized
就是那时候我意识到
that I could never be part of such a corrupt profession.
我永远也不可能成为那种腐败职业的一份子
I quit right then and there.
所以我当场就放弃了
It says here you were fired for spanking a child.
这上面说你是因为你打了一个孩子的屁股而被炒了
Well, if you knew that, why did you let me keep talking?
你都知道，你干嘛还让我说啊
You spanked a child?
你打了一个孩子啊
Spanking is a strong word.
打这个词太过了
It was a gentle tap over the pants.
那就是隔着裤子轻轻拍了一下
I thought I knew everything about you.
我还以为我知道你所有的事
You were a teacher.
你曾经做过老师
I did what I had to do to survive.
为了生存，我不得不这样做
Teach advanced calculus.
教高等微积分
Says here you taught drama.
这里说你教的是戏剧
Damn you, Doug!
该死的，道格
I got Hot 104 locked on all five presets
我把五个频道都设定成了一零四台
in case one loses reception.
以防其中一个收不到信号
Look, a nap zone.
看，打盹模式
Emery, I know we've had our differences over the years,
埃默里，我知道这些年来我们有过分歧
but sometimes you really feel me, dawg.
但是有时候你还真懂我
Hold on to your butts, fellas.
都坐稳了哟，兄弟们
It says here that AAA members get 5% off at Wet 'n Wild!
这写着美国汽车协会会员在潮野水上乐园可以享受百分之五的折扣
Oh, what?!
什么
You know I'm about that Lazy River life!
你们知道我一直都想玩激流勇进的
Okay, so we'll start at the mall, pick up Alison,
好的，那我们就先去商场，接上艾莉森
and then loop back to the dry cleaners,
然后兜一圈到干洗店
helping Mom,
这可是帮老妈忙
and instead of stopping for lunch,
我们把碳烤木火盆点着
we'll just fire up the hibachi.
就不用再停车吃午饭了
Then we'll end the day at Wet 'n Wild
然后我们就在潮野水上乐园的
with a hard chill in the Surf Lagoon.
冲浪湖里透心凉地结束这一天
Let's go!
出发
Wait!
等等
We need our bathing suits for Wet 'n Wild.
我们去潮野水上乐园得需要泳衣
My swimmies!
我的泳衣
Oh, no! No! No! No! No! No! No!
哦，不不不
Guys, it's fine.
没事的，哥们儿
I took the parking brake off
我就是松了手刹
and it must've rolled into the street.
车肯定会滑到街上的
No bigs.
不要慌
Where'd I put the keys?
钥匙放哪儿了
Crap.
糟了
Okay, after teaching didn't work out,
教书这条路走不通后
it says your next application
你就申请了
was for an Extraordinary Ability Visa.
特殊才能签证
Yes, that's right.
嗯，是的
I was sitting with my college roommate, Honey...
我和大学室友哈妮坐在一起
Wait, I thought Honey was a teacher at the school you... oh.
等等，哈妮不是学校的老师吗，噢
White people all the same. Got it.
我懂了，白人都一样
Jessica, I am so sorry the teaching thing didn't work out.
杰西卡，我很抱歉教师这条路走不通
It's a blessing in disguise.
这是因祸得福
Why should I waste my talent and my work ethic
我为啥要把我的才能和职业道德
on a lowly Specialty Occupation Visa
浪费在这个卑微的专业职业签证上呢
when really I should have...
我该去申请
an Extraordinary Ability Visa.
特殊才能签证
Oh.
噢
"For someone who possesses superior talents
“为拥有出众才能
that enrich our nation."
能为国争光的人量身打造”
What kind of superior talents do you have?
你有什么出众才能
What kind don't I have?
有什么才能是我没有的
Acting, singing, puppeteering.
表演，唱歌，演木偶戏，我都会
Your shrimp po' boys.
你们的宫保虾
Wait, was this the night we met?
等等，是我们相遇的那晚吗
Yes. -Then it wasn't shrimp, it was octopus.
是的，那吃的就不是虾，是章鱼
No, it was shrimp. -No, it was octopus.
不，是虾子，不，是章鱼
It was the night we met. I wouldn't forget.
那是我们相遇的晚上，我不会忘记的
You know what, I am so sick and tired
哎，男人总是和女人说反话
of men always changing a woman's narrative,
我真是受够了
just like Joan of Arc.
就像圣女贞德一样
What does Joan of Arc have...
扯圣女贞德干嘛
Jessica, they were octopus
杰西卡，那晚吃的是章鱼
because that's why we both got food poisoning
因此我们都食物中毒了
and met in the bathroom line,
然后在排队上厕所的时候相遇了
and I know for a fact that it was octopus
那晚吃的绝对是章鱼
because Olivia Yang had just dumped me that morning
因为那天早上奥莉维亚·杨刚刚把我甩了
and she was allergic to octopus, so I never got to eat octopus,
她对章鱼过敏，因此我从没吃成过章鱼
so my friend Barry took me out to get octopus.
然后我朋友巴里带我去吃章鱼
You told me Olivia Yang was your girlfriend in Taiwan.
你跟我说奥莉维亚·杨是你在台湾的女票
You dated her here in America
结果我们相遇那天
up until the day we met?
你才在美国和她分手
Men. Changing the narrative.
老兄，快唱反调啊
What are we gonna do?
怎么办
Mom and Dad are gonna murder us.
老爸老妈会杀了我们的
We'll set the car on fire and blame it on vandals.
我们把车烧了，就说是坏人干的
Or even better... Hobos!
或者说是流浪汉干的
You know Mom hates hobos. She's always saying that.
你知道老妈讨厌流浪汉的，她一直这样说
I think we should just run away and find a new family.
我觉得我们还是离家出走，找个新家吧
If we split up, we'll have a better chance of being adopted.
如果我们分开，就会有更大的机会被领养了
Or we can call AAA to come and unlock the car.
我们也可以给美国汽车协会打电话，叫人来解锁
Evan, I know we've had our differences in the past,
埃文，我知道我们过去有分歧
but you're the real MVP.
但你是真正的救星
Do I get a trophy?
有奖杯吗
No. You get this.
没有，但赏你这个
This moment right here.
这个不可多得的时刻
I'll take it.
我收下了
Now who's keeping secrets?
现在是谁守着秘密没说
All those years,
这么多年过去了
you said you fell in love with me at first sight.
你说你对我是一见钟情
I did! I wasn't lying.
对啊，又没骗你
It just happened to coincide
只是那时候刚好
with Olivia Yang falling out of love with me.
奥莉维亚·杨和我分手了
Why didn't you tell me?
你为啥不告诉我
I was worried it would scare you off.
我怕会吓到你
Why? Because she dumped you?
为啥，因为她把你甩了吗
And I'm a dumped man's rebound bride.
而你只是利用我来走出情伤
Jessica, if you're just a rebound,
杰西卡，如果我只是利用你来疗伤
why would I have proposed to you so many times?
为啥我还向你求这么多次婚
I don't know, maybe that's a question for Olivia Yang!
不知道，还是让奥莉维亚·杨来回答吧
Okay, how's about we get back to that Extraordinary Ability Visa?
好了，我们接着说回特殊才能签证吧
So, I went down to the immigration office in Baltimore
所以我就去了巴尔的摩的移民办公室
to apply in person.
亲自申请签证
How can I help you?
你好
Oh, my God, you put me in it?
天哪，那是我吗
No, it's your brother.
不，是你哥哥
Of course it is. Everybody loves Jeremy.
当然了，杰瑞米人见人爱
I am here to apply for my Extraordinary Ability Visa.
我来申请特殊才能签证
Where is your pianist?
你的钢琴师呢
I will need he or she to accompany me.
我需要钢琴师伴奏
There is no pianist. Okay. A cappella then.
这里没有钢琴师，行，那我清唱吧
Listen to the wind blow
听着风儿吹过
Watch the sunrise
看着日出
Run in the shadows
在光影下奔跑
Damn your love, damn your lies
去你的爱，去你的谎言
Ma'am, ma'am.
女士，女士
That's not what we're looking for here.
我们不是招歌手的
No problem. I've got more.
没问题，我还有拿手的
Oh, boy. And if you don't love me now
我去，如果你现在不爱我
You will never love me again
那你再也不会爱上我
I can still hear you sayin' you would never break the
我仍听见你说
Never break the chain
永生永世
Ma'am, this isn't "Star Search."
女士，这不是《明日之星》
In order to qualify for an Extraordinary Ability Visa,
要申请特殊才能签证
you need to prove this is your paid profession...
你需要证明这是你从事的行业
Awards, letters from noteworthy peers,
要有你获得的奖项，知名同行的推荐信
articles written about you.
或者提到你的文章
But I don't have any of those things
但我没有这些
and my Student Visa runs out in a week.
我的学生签证一周后就过期了
I have no other way of staying in this country.
我没有其他办法待在美国了
I'm sorry. That's not my problem.
很抱歉，那不是我的问题
I was so upset, I cried all the way back to my dorm room.
我很伤心，回寝室的路上一直在哭
I know you've said no five times already,
我知道你拒绝了我五次
but I'm gonna keep asking.
但我还是要问
Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
Yes. I will marry you.
好，我答应你
Wait.
等等
You had just gotten rejected for your Visa
你是在申请签证被拒后
right before you finally said yes?
才答应嫁给我的吗
Did you only agree to marry me so you could get a green card?
你答应我是因为绿卡吗
Yes. Obviously, yes.
是的，这很明显
Dude.
伙计啊
You married me for a green card?
你为了绿卡才和我结婚的吗
It's not that big of a deal. I liked you and everything.
不要大惊小怪的，我喜欢过你
Liked me?
喜欢过我
I fell in love with you the first moment we met.
我对你可是一见钟情啊
I thought our love story was one for the ages.
我以为我们的爱情故事是历久弥新的
Now I'm finding out I was just a marriage of convenience.
现在才知道你结婚是为了绿卡
What? I'm practical.
怎么了，我很现实啊
You love that about me.
你爱我这一点的
I like that about you.
应该是我喜欢你这一点
Thank you so much.
非常感谢
And thank you, sir, for your seven years of membership.
谢谢你，先生，做了我们七年的会员
You've been a member since you were 2?
你两岁开始就是会员了吗
I wanted to join earlier, but I didn't know how to talk
我想早点入会的，但我不知道怎么说话
and make my wishes known to Mom.
让老妈明白我的心意
Hmm. Well, you guys are all set,
额，都给你们弄好了
as long as you didn't make any changes in the car.
只要你们不去碰车里的东西
You know, adjust the seats, change the radio presets,
比如调座位，改变之前的广播设置
move the mirrors...
动反光镜什么的就好了
Things the car's primary driver would notice immediately.
不然车主立马就会注意到这些变动
I see you later, boys.
拜拜，孩子们
98.3, Smooth Jazz.
98,3频道，柔和爵士
99.8, Cool Jazz.
99.8频道，酷派爵士
102.2, Drive Time Classic Jazz.
102.2频道，交通古典爵士
I've answered all your questions.
我回答了所有问题
Can I please just have my citizenship?
我能获得美国公民身份吗
I'm sorry it's taking so much time, ma'am.
抱歉花了这么多时间，女士
Everything seems to be in order.
好像都没什么问题了
Hold that stamp!
先别盖章
Mrs. Huang, I need to ask you a few more questions
黄太太，我要就你的犯罪记录
regarding your criminal record.
问你几个问题
A criminal record?!
你怎么有犯罪记录
There was a small misunderstanding.
有个小误会
Simple property damage a long time ago.
只是很久以前造成的一点财产损失
Statute of limitations have passed.
时效都过了
Here we go. Just a little stamp, stamp.
快按吧，快盖章吧
Stamp. No.
盖啊，不
I'm sorry.
抱歉
I have to know the details or I can't approve your file.
我要了解细节，不然不能审批你的文件
Okay.
好吧
I'll tell you.
我告诉你
It was a hot night in Brooklyn,
那是布鲁克林的一个炎热夜晚
and racial tensions were boiling over.
种族冲突升温
A trash can through the window of Sal's Pizzeria?
用垃圾箱砸了披萨店的窗户
That's from "Do the Right Thing."
那是《为所应为》里的情节啊
Yes, and that is so much worse than what I did.
是的，但那比我做的严重多了
Fellas, I think we did it.
伙计们，我觉得我们成功了
Seriously, if we get away with this,
说真的，如果他们没发现的话
I'm never getting behind the wheel of a car again.
我再也不会去开车了
Not even a Yukon with rims?
带轮缘的育空都不开吗
Well, yeah. I mean, a Yukon with rims, obviously.
是啊，肯定不开啦
I'm only human, man.
我只是个普通人，兄弟
Lavender.
薰衣草味
Apricot.
杏仁味
No. Leather.
不，皮革味
No.
不
My sinuses! I can't do this.
我鼻窦要受不了了
Driftwood.
流木味
Mrs. Huang, I need to know
黄女士
about the criminal incident in your file.
我需要了解你文件里记录的犯罪事件
It was just simple property damage.
只是一个小小的财产破坏
Can we please move on?
我们能继续吗
No. I want to know what happened.
不，我想知道发生了什么
Fine.
好
It was the night we met.
那是我们相遇的夜晚
I don't think I can ever eat octopus again.
我再也不吃章鱼了
Poisoning us was its last and best defense.
给我们下毒是章鱼最好也是最后的反抗
So, uh, yeah, call me. I'd love to go out sometime.
嗯，给我打电话吧，有机会出来玩玩
I'll give you my number.
我电话是
555 It's
555...
Um, do you want a pen or something to write this down?
你想要用笔记下来吗
No, I'll remember it.
不，我记得住
Right. Well, it's, um, 555-0193.
好吧，我电话是555-0193
Great. Thanks.
好的，谢了
Do you have a pen? I need a pen.
你有笔吗，我需要一支笔
I just met the man I'm going to marry
我刚遇到了我未来的丈夫
and I need to write down his number before I forget it.
我要在忘记他的号码之前，把它写下来
But that's permanent marker.
那个笔写了就擦不掉了
Hey! You're destroying my property!
嘿，不要乱涂乱画
Oh, please, it's just a piece of an old canoe.
拜托，这只是块旧木头罢了
You wrote my number on a
你为了记住我的电话
restaurant canoe so you wouldn't forget it?
把它写在餐厅的木板上了
You loved me at first sight!
你对我就是一见钟情
I'm so embarrassed.
太尴尬了
All these years, you were acting like you weren't a romantic,
这么多年来，你装得不浪漫的样子
yet really, you fell in love with me at first sight.
但其实你对我一见钟情
Louis, stop saying it!
路易斯，别说了
But wait, if you knew you wanted to marry me
等等，如果我们初次相遇时
from the first moment we met,
你就想嫁给我
why did you say no all those other times I proposed to you?
那为什么你拒绝了我之前的求婚
Because I wanted to enter the marriage on equal footing.
因为我想以平等的地位结婚
Get my Visa situation sorted out first
先解决好我的签证
so that when I did say yes,
等到了我答应你的时候
you wouldn't think that I was just marrying you
你就不会认为我是为了绿卡
for a green card.
才和你结婚
When I got denied that day, I didn't have a choice.
被拒签那天，我没有别的选择了
It was either marry you
要么和你结婚
or get deporte and never see you again.
要么就是被驱逐出境，再也见不到你
I wasn't gonna do that.
可我不会那么做的
This right here... This is why I do the job.
这就是，这就是我选择这一行的原因
Well, I have everything I need.
好了，一切都办妥了
Jessica Huang, your application for naturalization is approved.
杰西卡·黄，你的入籍申请已经被批准
Congratulations, you two.
恭喜你们
Oh, thank you!
噢，谢谢
Oh, let me help.
噢，我来开门
Baby, let's go fill up the Accord with cheap, cheap gas.
宝贝，我们去给雅阁加上便宜的汽油吧
Louis.
路易斯
They gave me a pocket copy of the Constitution.
他们给了我一本便携版的宪法
Swear on it.
快发誓
Swear that you will never tell the boys my secret.
发誓你绝不把我的秘密告诉孩子们
That you have a criminal record?
你有犯罪记录的秘密吗
Yes, and also that I... you know...
嗯，还有
Fell in love with me at first sight?
对我一见钟情
Yes.
嗯
And also the teacher thing. Especially the teacher thing.
还有当老师这件事，特别是这件事
Okay, everyone, we're ready to begin.
好了各位，准备开始吧
I hereby declare on oath
我在这里郑重地宣誓
that I will support and defend the Constitution
我会支持及维护
and laws of the United States of America
美利坚共和国宪法和法律
against all enemies foreign and domestic.
对抗国内外所有敌人
That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same.
我将真诚地效忠美国
And that I take this obligation freely, so help me God.
这是我个人所愿，请上帝保佑我
Welcome, all of you new American citizens.
欢迎你们，新到来的美国公民们
