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Chapter 5
第五章
He's Just Not That Into You If He's Having Sex with Someone Else
如果他跟别人做爱，那他其实没那么喜欢你
There's Never Going to Be a Good Excuse for Cheating
偷吃永远不是一个好借口
If he cheats on you, throw the deadbeat out.
如果他出轨，就把这赖账货扔出去。
Just kidding. I know things aren't that simple.
开玩笑的。我知道到事情没有那么简单。
This is a very complicated subject, I'll admit.
我承认这事儿非常复杂。
Some will argue, "It's just sex, what does it matter?"
有些人会争辩说，“这只是做爱而已，有什么大不了的？”
Some will argue that you shouldn't throw away a meaningful relationship just because of one indiscretion.
有些人会说你不能因为一次失足就放弃一段弥足珍贵的感情。
This all may be true. But this is what I know: Whatever problems you may have been having in your relationship, they didn't merit him having sex with someone else.
这也许说的对。但是我所知道的是：不管你们的感情出现了什么问题，都不应该是促使他出轨的原因。
Don't ask what you did wrong. Don't share the blame.
不要问自己做错了什么，不要分担责任。
And in case he tells you that it just "happened," please remember, cheating doesn't just "happen."
万一他跟你说那是不小心发生的，请记住，出轨不会不小心发生。
It's not an accident as in, "Oops, I just slipped and fell into a sexual relationship with someone else."
这不是一个意外，“哦，我不小心滑倒，坠入了出轨的境地。”
It was planned and executed with the full knowledge that it could end your relationship.
它是是在全面了解到可能会终结这段恋情的情况下计划好并执行的。
Know this: If he's sleeping with someone else without your knowledge or encouragement, he is not only behaving like a man who's just not that into you, he's behaving like a man who doesn't even like you all that much.
你要知道：如果在你不知情和不鼓励的情况下，他和别人睡了，他的表现不仅是没那么喜欢你，而是完全不喜欢你。
The "He's Got No Excuse and He Knows It" Excuse
“他没找借口而且他自己知道”的借口
Dear Greg, I have been living with my boyfriend for a year.
亲爱的格雷格，我和我男友同居一年了。
I recently found out that about a month ago he slept with someone he worked with, twice. (The girl told me at a party! )
最近我发现一个月前他跟一个同事睡了两回。（那婊砸在派对上告诉我的！）
I confronted my boyfriend and he confessed.
我跟我男友对质，他承认了。
I packed my things and moved to a friend's.
我收拾了东西搬去朋友家住。
He's now calling me constantly, begging me to give him a second chance.
现在他一直给我打电话，求我再给他一次机会。
He says he doesn't know why he did it, but promises he'll never do it again.
他说他也不知道为什么这么做了，但是答应我再也不犯了。
He really feels bad about it. What should I do?
他对此十分难过，我该怎么办呢？
Signed Fiona
菲奥纳
Dear A Month Ago, Let's see.
亲爱的一个月前，让我想想。
He slept with someone else while he was living with you, and you only found out because the girl told you about it.
他在跟你同居期间跟别人睡了，然后你发现的原因是那个女孩儿告诉你了。
Sounds like a winner. When's the wedding?
听起来是个赢家。打算啥时候结婚？
Seriously, let's talk about that special month in your home.
严肃点儿，让我们来谈谈你家这特别的一个月。
In that month, he had sex with someone else twice, came back, and slept in the same bed with you.
在这个月里，他出轨两次，然后回来跟你躺在一张床上。
He was actively hiding this secret from you every time he looked into your eyes.
他每次直视你的双眼时都在灵敏地隐藏自己的秘密。
And let's remember, this gentleman didn't confess by his own volition—Skanky the Homewrecker did it for him.
记住，这位绅士并不是在自己的意志下承认错误的——是讨人嫌的家庭破坏者承认的。
