The "At Least It's Not the Hard Stuff" Excuse
“至少这不是烈性酒”的借口
Dear Greg, My boyfriend is a lawyer and happens to smoke pot every night.
亲爱的格雷格,我的男朋友是个律师,每晚吸大麻。
When he does, he acts and talks just like he does when he's sober.
当他吸大麻的时候,他的行为举止是清醒的。
I guess it's weird that he's always high and I'm not, but it doesn't seem to be an issue with us.
他一直在嗑药而我没有,我猜这点很奇怪,但是这貌似对我俩来说并不是问题。
My friends think it's weird that I'm dating a pothead.
我朋友觉得我跟一个瘾君子恋爱很奇怪。
But it's not like he's really acting like a pothead, so what does it matter?
但是他的行为并不像瘾君子,所以这有什么问题呢?
I can't imagine how this has anything to do with how into me he is or not. Right?
我无法想象这件事跟他喜不喜欢我有什么关系。不是吗?
Signed Shirley
雪莉
Dear High Times, Wrong!
亲爱的爽翻时刻,错了!
Let's take a quick health ed class on what pot does to the brain.
让我们快速上一堂大麻对人脑影响的健康教育课。
Smoking pot makes your brain work slower, and makes you less in tune with your surroundings and more introverted.
吸大麻会让你的大脑运转缓慢,使你跟周围环境更不搭调,以及更内向。
It dulls your senses and clouds and impairs your sense of reality.
它使你感官迟钝,扰乱损害你的现实感。
So, he's always stoned when he's with you.
因此,他跟你在一起的时候是不省人事的。
That really means he likes you more when there's less of you.
那其实意味着当你缺失不全的时候他更喜欢你。
You're going out with someone that doesn't enjoy you at your full levels.
你在跟一个不完全喜欢你的人约会。
That's tantamount to him liking you better when you're in the other room.
那对他而言无异于更喜欢你在另一个房间的时候。
This doesn't mean that he's not into you. It just means that he likes his pot better than you.
这并非意味着他不喜欢你,这意味着相较而言他更喜欢大麻。
By the way, if he ever got arrested for pot, he most likely would lose his license, because criminals are not allowed to be officers of the court.
顺便一提,如果他因吸食大麻被捕,他很可能会失去他的执照,因为罪犯是不允许做法务人员的。
So at least you're in good company, because he likes pot better than his job, too!
所以至少你是个好伙伴因为他也喜欢大麻甚于他的工作!
XOXO, Greg
亲亲抱抱,格雷格
Don't be fooled. Don't let the guy who's not falling down drunk and peeing in his pants get away with the fact that he is quietly, more gracefully, bombed out of his mind every single moment he's with you.
别犯傻了。不要忽视事实,这个没有烂醉如泥和尿裤子的男人在与你在一起的每分钟,其实脑海内都在安静得体的爆炸。
It's still inebriation, it's still checking out, and it's still not good enough for you.
它仍然是醉的,它还在检测,它对你而言还是不够好。