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In any healthy relationship, whether it's with a friend or a partner,
在任何健康关系，不管是和朋友还是伴侣的关系中，
you should be able to depend on the other person.
你都应该能依赖别人。
Hopefully, you can count on them to keep their promises,
我希望，你能期待他们信守诺言，
or listen to you vent if you've had a tough day.
或者，如果你今天过得很辛苦，可以有人听你诉苦。
But sometimes, people can become too dependent on each other.
但是有时候，人们可能会变得过于相互依赖。
One person can start relying on another for all of their emotional health, and even identity.
一个人的全部情绪健康甚至身份都开始仰仗他人。
And that's where codependency comes in.
这就是情感依赖症的来源。
It's a word thrown around a lot in pop psychology, and it doesn't have a clinical definition.
情感依赖症在大众心理学中经常出现，没有临床定义。
But when it comes to relationships, it's not healthy, even if Hollywood might romanticize it.
但涉及到人际关系时，它就不健康了，即使好莱坞可能会把它浪漫化。
The term codependency was first used in the 1980s,
情感依赖症一词最早在20世纪80年代使用，
mostly by organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous and addiction counselors.
大多数是在匿名戒酒会和成瘾顾问这样的组织。
It was supposedly a condition that comes from being close with someone who struggles with alcohol addiction.
它被认定为一种情况，来自与努力戒酒瘾的人的亲密关系。
The idea was that a codependent person ends up supporting their loved ones
观点是，一个被依赖的人最终会支持他们所爱的人，
so that they never hit rock bottom, basically when they finally realize they have a problem and change their lives.
这样，当后者最终意识到自己有问题并改变了生命的时候，就不会跌入谷底。
And in doing so, the codependent person supposedly enabled the addiction instead of helping.
这样做的过程中，这个被依赖的人可能会让他人上瘾而不是帮助他。
But there's no research supporting this idea.
但是没有研究支持这个观点。
And abandoning someone who's struggling usually causes more harm.
抛弃那些挣扎的人通常会造成更大的伤害。
In fact, many things that were labeled codependent,
事实上，很多东西都有依赖症的标签，
like providing treatment or safer ways to gradually fight an addiction, are often really helpful.
比如，提供治疗或更安全的方法来逐渐戒除毒瘾，通常很有帮助。
These days, psychologists and counselors mainly use codependency
如今，心理学家和顾问们主要用依赖症
to refer to a set of observed emotional behaviors and attachments.
来指一组能观察到的情感行为和依恋。
And to separate it from the old, false ideas about addiction,
为了把它和关于上瘾的错误观念区分开来，
they'll sometimes call it relationship dependency, emotional dependency, or even obsessive love.
他们有时会称它为关系依赖、情感依赖甚至是执着的爱。
In a codependent relationship, one person is dependent on the other for their emotional needs,
在情感依赖关系中，一个人的情感需求依赖于另一个人，
and they don't feel "complete" without their romantic partner or best friend.
他们如果没有伴侣或最好的朋友就会感到不“完整”。
Some psychologists think codependency might be influenced by things
一些心理学家认为，情感依赖症可能会受到某些东西的影响，
like personality or a traumatic event in someone's childhood,
比如性格或童年创伤，
like if they have a broken relationship with a caregiver.
或者他们和照顾者的破裂关系。
But it's also not something you can be clinically diagnosed with.
但临床诊断诊不出来。
Emotional dependency can be measured with surveys like the Love Attitudes Scale,
情感依赖可以用调查来衡量，比如爱情态度量表，
which was developed by psychologists in the late 1990s
它是心理学家在上世纪90年代末提出来的，
to help determine someone's feelings about relationships.
用于帮助确定某人对关系的感觉。
The survey asks people to think about their partner or hypothetical partner,
调查要求人们思考他们的伴侣或假想伴侣，
and then has them agree or disagree with statements like,
然后让他们同意或者不同意这样的陈述：
"If my partner ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to get their attention back."
“如果我的伴侣忽视我一段时间，我有时会做一些蠢事来吸引他们的注意力。”
If they score within a certain range, their behavior is most likely codependent.
如果他们的得分在某一区间，他们的行为很可能是情感依赖。
Now, codependency or emotional dependency is different than something called Dependent Personality Disorder, or DPD.
情感依赖不同于所谓的依赖型人格障碍（DPD）。
This is in the DSM-5, the most recent version of the manual
DPD在美国精神障碍诊断与统计手册第5版，即手册的最新版本中，
that clinical psychologists use to diagnose different conditions.
是临床心理学家用来诊断不同情况用的。
People with DPD often feel totally powerless and like they aren't capable of caring for themselves.
患有DPD的人常常感到无能为力，就像他们无法照顾自己一样。
Meanwhile, someone who's codependent may think they can function independently just fine.
同时，有依赖症的人可能认为他们能独立活动。
But if they aren't in a close relationship, they might feel lonely and emotionally unsatisfied.
但是他们如果没有亲密关系，可能会感到孤独和情感上不满足。
And if a close relationship ends,
如果一段亲密关系结束，
they'll often feel stronger grief and have a higher risk of depression than the average person.
他们常常会感到更强烈的悲伤，比一般人更容易患抑郁症。
Not only that, but codependency is unhealthy while a relationship is happening, too.
不仅如此，当一段关系发生时，情感依赖症也是不健康的。
Multiple studies have shown that codependent relationships are related to depression,
多项研究表明，依赖关系与抑郁、
eating disorders, and health problems related to stress.
饮食失调、以及和压力有关的健康问题相关。
Because when someone links their self worth to other people,
因为当人们把他们的自我价值与他人联系起来时，
they may feel a need to prove themselves or sacrifice too much to try and make someone else happy.
他们可能会觉得有必要证明自己或牺牲太多来尝试让别人开心。
And the person being depended on can feel pressure to keep the relationship going, to avoid hurting their friend.
而被依赖的人会感觉维持这种关系、避免伤害朋友很有压力。
So it really isn't healthy for anyone.
所以对任何人来说它都不健康。
Multiple researchers have also shown that
多名研究人员也证明了这一点，
people who are codependent are more likely to stay in abusive relationships.
有情感依赖症的人更有可能留在受虐关系中。
They may even think this abuse comes out of love,
他们甚至会认为这种虐待源于爱，
or have such low self-esteem that they believe they deserve it.
或者他们认为自己应该得到这样的低自尊。
Which, to be totally clear, is never true.
这当然是不正确的。
Even though codependency doesn't have a spot in the DSM, like Dependent Personality Disorder does
尽管情感依赖症不像依赖性人格障碍那样在DSM中有一席之地，
it can still be treated by talking with a therapist.
但它仍然可以通过与治疗师交谈来治疗。
A professional can help someone get out of an abusive relationship or friendship,
专业人士可以帮助某人摆脱一段虐待关系或友谊，
or work with them to manage their connections and feelings in a healthier way.
或者与他们合作，以更健康的方式管理他们的关系和感受。
And medicines like antidepressants can also help with the depression or anxiety that can go along with codependency.
抗抑郁药这样的药物也可以帮助缓解伴随依赖症产生的抑郁或焦虑。
So even though some romance movies or cheesy relationship goals graphics
所以即使有些爱情电影或俗套的目标关系图形
might glamorize relationships that "complete you"... it's definitely not true.
会美化那些“使你完整”的关系……但它肯定不是真的。
Now, healthy, loving relationships are important,
健康和谐的人际关系很重要，
and tons of studies have shown that we don't do so well if we're cut off from other people.
大量研究表明，如果我们与他人隔绝会表现不好。
But one relationship should never define someone's value
但是一段关系永远不能定义一个人的价值，
or be the source of all their emotional health.
也不应该成为他们所有情感健康的来源。
That's just not how people work.
人们不会这么做。
Thanks for watching this episode of SciShow Psych,
感谢您收看本期的心理科学秀，
especially to our patrons on Patreon, who make episodes like this possible.
特别感谢Patreon对本节目的大力支持。
If you'd like to support the show, you can go to patreon.com/scishow.
如果你想支持本节目，可以登陆patreon.com/scishow哦。
