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Guys, tomorrow is the Kentucky Derby and Cinco de Mayo.
朋友么，明天是肯塔基德比和五月五日节。
Or, as that's also known, the Super Bowl of day drinking. I mean, it's happening. It's going down.
也被叫作超级碗日间酗酒日，真的会发生，真的会发生。
And everybody is excited for the Kentucky Derby. I read that even though it lasts just two minutes,
人们对肯塔基德比感到兴奋，即使德比只有两分钟，
NBC's coverage begins six hours before the race.
全国广播公司会在六小时前开始报道。
Six hours leading up to two minutes of action, or as the president calls that date night. Yeah! Boom! Boom!
六小时最后只有两分钟，小特总统会把这个叫做约会之夜，耶耶。
Date night. Speaking of the president, this week, Trump attended a National Day of Prayer event at the White House.
约会之夜，说到总统，本周小特参加了白宫的全国祈祷日。
He spent the whole time praying Rudy Giuliani would stop doing interviews.
他从头到尾祈求的都是鲁迪·朱利安尼不要再接受询问了。
Actually, Trump looked like he was bowing his head to pray, but he was really just tweeting.
你看小特一直在低头祈祷，其实他一直在低头发推特。
Uh, he was like, Fake pews. At the, uh... At the prayer event, Trump said that, since he took office,
假祈祷，在祈祷日活动上，小特说自从上台以后，
more people are saying the phrase under God. But I think he misheard them. They're actually saying, Oh, dear God.
越来越多的人们喜欢用“上帝之下”这个词组，但我想他是听错了，他们说的应该是哦老天。
And. It's close. Some business news. The CEO of Subway is stepping down.
发音很接近，来听听商业新闻，赛百味总裁辞职了。
Well, she's not stepping down. She was actually taking a bunch of tiny steps to the side.
她其实没有辞职，她只是一小步一小步地像旁边移动。
Space-work class is really paying off. Yeah, man. Definitely. Looked like he was really holding a sub there. Yeah.
空间作业没白学，没错，她找到了合适的替代人。
That's right. The CEO of Subway is stepping down. Her employees all shook her hand to say goodbye,
没错，赛百味总裁辞职了，她的员工们与她握手告别，
then threw out their plastic gloves and put on another pair.
之后扔掉塑料手套换上一双新的。
Wow. Mime class really did pay off. Wow. Really overhyped that joke. It wasn't that good. Yeah.
哑剧没白学，这个笑话有点过了，不是特别好。
Guys, listen to this. I read about a farm in Canada where the cows use a machine to milk themselves.
听听这个，听说在加拿大一个农场，奶牛利用机器自助挤奶。
It's weird when the farmer knocks on the door and all the cows yell, Don't come in here!
当农场主敲门时，奇怪的事情发生了，所有奶牛叫嚷到别进来！
Finally, did you guys see this? On The Price is Right this week,
这个你们听说了吗？在本周的“购物街”节目中，
a woman won and the guy who lost had a pretty intense reaction. He's on the right. Don't worry. He's fine. But watch this.
一名女性赢了，而输了的男性反应激烈，他站在右边，别担心他没事，来看看。
She needed a dollar. She needed a dollar. She needed a dollar! There's the dollar! There's the dollar!
她需要一美金，一美金，一美金，一美金来了，来了！
Then Drew Carey was like, If you're a doctor, come on down! We have a great show tonight! Give it up for The Roots everybody.
德鲁·凯利好像在说，这里哪有医生，快来！今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
