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Guys, today is National Teacher Appreciation Day.
朋友们，今天是教师感激日。
Our entire audience is filled with New York City public-school teachers.
场下的观众全是纽约的公立学校老师。
That's what I'm talking about right there. Welcome. But be honest,
这也就是我谈论它的原因，但说实话，
how many of you threw on a movie and left school early to be here?
有多少人是为学生放了电影，自己提早出来的？
Yeah, I knew it. I knew it. I know that trick. But Teacher Appreciation Day is very special.
我知道，我懂的，教师感激日非常特别。
It's the one day each year when we tell our teachers that there's no one we're more proud of,
每年的这一天，我们最骄傲和自豪的就是老师，
and our teachers are like, There's no one of whom you are more proud.
而老师却说，除了你没人让你更骄傲。
Okay! And Teacher Appreciation Day is a great time to give your teacher a card or an apple
哈哈，我们可以在这一天为教师送上贺卡或苹果，
or what they really deserve, a bottle of wine and a straw.
但他们最值得拥有的确是一瓶红酒和吸管。
And that's what your really, I mean, come on. An apple. Get out of here.
老天，苹果，不可能。
And this is very nice. Today, teachers can get buy-one, get-one-free burritos at Chipotle.
这是个好消息，Chipotle餐厅今天会为老师提供买卷饼赠卷饼活动。
Or, as students put it, Looks like we're gonna have a substitute tomorrow.
而学生们却说，明天可能要来一个代课老师了。
Let's get to some news here. I read that President Trump is getting annoyed with Rudy Giuliani's TV appearances,
来看看新闻，听说小特对电视上的鲁迪·朱利安尼感到非常反感，
because he keeps going off topic. Trump staffers were like,
因为他总是跑题，小特的工作人员说，
Yeah, it must be really awful having to deal with that.
恩恩，处理这种事情是挺烦人的。
That's right, the president is tired of Giuliani. Trump said,
没错，小特对朱利安尼非常厌烦，小特说，
He's unhinged, hard to control, says anything he wants, and, Oh, my God. He's me. Oh, it's like Freaky Friday.
他精神错乱，难以控制，想说什么说什么，老天，这人就是我哎，好像是辣妈辣妹。
Get this. Uber says it hopes to have flying cars in operation by 2020.
听听这个，优步希望在2020年之前运营飞行汽车。
It's all part of their plan to help drunk people throw up faster.
此举旨在让醉鬼赶紧吐出来。
They go, What? Listen to this. I saw that a Michigan police department added stickers to their vehicles
什么？听听下面这个，听说密西根警察局在警车上贴图像，
that say Po-po. To connect with younger members of the community. Po-po.
写道条子，这么做可以和年轻人增加沟通，条子。
Oh, come on! The fire department saw that and was like, Hey, we want to be cool too.
哈哈，消防局看到了说，我们也要来点酷的。
But I'm not sure about their new slogan. Take a look. Lit AF. There you go.
但我不确定他们的新标语，来看看，酷毙了。
We have a great show tonight! Give it up for The Roots!
今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
