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And I don't know if you know this, but Apple just made a new announcement of their new products.
不知道大家知道不 苹果刚宣布了他们的新产品
They did a keynote speech yesterday.
昨天他们做了专题演讲
And I don't have any so don't get excited.
我手里没有 各位淡定
I'm just going to talk about it. I don't have any.
我只是说说而已 我没有新产品
They haven't even sent me anything yet.
他们还没给我寄新款产品
But in case you missed it I'm going to give you some highlights of what they're doing.
为了防止你们错过 我来告诉大家这些重点
This is the new Apple Watch right here. And it is fancy.
这是新的苹果手表 很精致
It has all kinds of features on it, like crazy features.
它有很多功能 让你想象不到的功能
There's a cool feature called Fall Detection, which I thought was at first like it lets you know when autumn is here.
有一个很酷的功能叫做Fall Detection 一开始我还以为它能告诉你秋天什么时候到呢
But Starbucks does that when they come out with their Pumpkin Lattes.
不过星巴克已经提供这项服务了 一到秋天 他们就会推出南瓜拿铁咖啡
So this watch will make an emergency call if you trip and have a big fall.
所以如果你绊倒或坠落的话 这款手表会拨打紧急电话
This is-- yes, it somehow knows if you fall, trip, or slip.
没错 不知道为啥 你坠落 绊倒或者滑落的时候 它能知道
Those are what happens.
是这样
And so what happens is the watch calls an ambulance and then the ambulance brings you a new watch.
当你出现上述状况的时候 手表会叫救护车来 救护车会给你带一块儿新表
This guy doesn't look like he's falling down.
这个看着并不像坠落呀
I don't know what this is. That's just walking. I don't know.
不知道这是啥 感觉像是走路 谁知道
Anyway, the new watch has the ability to run an EKG.
总之呢 新款手表有EKG功能
Which I thought was a new kind of dance music.
我还以为是一种新的舞蹈音乐
But apparently it stands for electrocardiogram and you used to have to go to the doctor for one.
但很明显它代表心电图 就是以前去医院做的那种
But now, you can do it with your watch. How about that?
不过现在 你可以用手表做了 怎么样？
But your watch does charge you a $40 co-pay, so-- Here's the new Apple phone.
但手表会收40美元的费用 这个是新的苹果手机
And this is called the iPhone 10S Max.
它叫iPhone 10S Max
And the screen is an inch bigger, at least that's what they tell the ladies.
屏幕大了一英寸 至少他们是这么跟女士们说的
The phone is powered by the A12 bionic, which is the smartest and most powerful chip ever.
手机驱动是A12仿生芯片 是目前最智能最强大的芯片（薯片）
So take that, Pringles! They've also improved the water resistance on it,
厉害吧 Pringles（薯片品牌，同上文chip呼应） 他们还增强了手机的防水性能
and not only did they test it with water, they tested it with beer and wine.
他们不光用水做了测试 还用了啤酒和红酒
So now your phone won't get damaged, but Siri will slur her words when she's talking to you.
现在你的手机不怕水了 不过Siri跟你说话的时候会醉的胡言乱语
And she'll text your ex at 3 AM for no reason.
她还会在凌晨三点莫名其妙地给你前任发短信
So to review, the watch will call someone when you fall down and the phone resistant to beer and wine.
总的来说 苹果手表会在你摔倒的时候给别人打电话 苹果手机不怕啤酒和红酒了
So it seems like Apple is designing products specifically for people with drinking problems.
苹果貌似在专门为酗酒成瘾的人设计产品
