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This has implications for child rearing.
这对抚养孩子有意义
This has implications, of course, for education. It has implications for society as a whole.
当然，对教育也有意义。对社会整体有意义
This is a topic I am going to talk about a lot. I am going to dedicate much time when we discuss relationships.
这是我即将深入讨论的一个话题。我会花很多时间讨论情感关系
But just very briefly, this understanding for me transformed, literally transformed my relationship with my wife.
不过先简要地提提，这个理解改变了，真的改变了我和我妻子的关系
It transformed... It is transforming my relationship with my friends, as well as students and colleagues.
它改变了，它正在改变我和我朋友的关系以及我的学生和同事
You see, we go into a relationship. Most people think that important thing about relationship is that we are validated, as we get pads on our back.
我们卷入一段关系。大多数人觉得情感关系的重要之处在于我们可以得到认可，有人能在背后做支柱
Now that's important in our relationship. Surely important to be validated in any relationship,
这在我们的关系中确实是重要的。得到认可很重要，在任何关系中都是如此，
whether it's with you know students/teacher, whether it's with friends, certainly in romantic relationship.
不管是师生之间，朋友之间，当然也在爱人之间
However, what David Schnarch talks about is that primarily if we want long-term, successful, thriving, passionate relationships,
但是大卫·史纳屈想说的是如果我们想要长期的、成功的、健康、有激情的关系
the first objective, the primary objective is to go into relationship to be known.
那首要目标，最基本的目标是通过关系被了解
To be known, rather than to be validated, meaning going in there and saying "OK so how can my partner get to know me even better?"
被了解，而不是得到认可，也就是说，你想着“我的伙伴如何才能更了解我呢”
Doing it gradually of course. On the first date, you don't want to reveal all your secrets.
当然了，要循序渐进。在第一次约会上，你肯定不会想说出所有秘密
Doing it gradually. You know, thinking about it, but opening up more and more.
循序渐进。想着这一点，慢慢地敞开心扉
And couples who over time open up more and more are able to sustain the relationship as well as their passion, over time.
能够逐渐逐渐敞开心扉的夫妇更能够维持他们的关系以及激情
And again, I am going to talk about much more... I am going to devote two classes at least to relationships.
我还会就此讲得更多……我会用至少两节课来讲情感关系
This is going to be one of the central pillars of successful long-term relationships. Also with the students, the same applies.
这将是成功的长期关系的中流砥柱之一。对于学生，也是一样适用
