When I left college, I was sent out to Jamaica, to espouse a bride already courted for me.
我一离开大学就被送往牙买加,跟一个已经替我求了爱的新娘成婚。
My father said nothing about her money;
我的父亲只字不提她的钱,
but he told me Miss Mason was the boast of Spanish Town for her beauty: and this was no lie.
却告诉我在西班牙城梅森小姐有倾城之貌,这倒不假。
I found her a fine woman, in the style of Blanche Ingram: tall, dark, and majestic.
她是个美人,有布兰奇·英格拉姆的派头,身材高大,皮肤黝黑,雍容华贵。
Her family wished to secure me because I was of a good race; and so did she.
她家里也希望把我弄到手,因为我身世不错,和她一样。
They showed her to me in parties, splendidly dressed.
他们把她带到聚会上给我看,打扮得花枝招展。
I seldom saw her alone, and had very little private conversation with her.
我难得单独见她,也很少同她私下交谈。
She flattered me, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and accomplishments.
她恭维我,还故意卖弄姿色和才艺来讨好我。
All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy me.
她圈子里的男人似乎都被她所倾倒,同时也羡慕我。
I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her.
我被弄得眼花缭乱,激动不已。我的感官被刺激起来了,由于幼稚无知,没有经验,以为自己爱上了她。
There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society,
社交场中的愚蠢角逐、
the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its commission.
年青人的好色、鲁莽和盲目,会使人什么糊里糊涂的蠢事都干得出来。
Her relatives encouraged me; competitors piqued me;
她的亲戚们怂恿我;情敌们激怒我;
she allured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was.
她来勾引我,于是我还几乎不知道是怎么回事儿,婚事就定了。
Oh, I have no respect for myself when I think of that act! An agony of inward contempt masters me.
呵,想起这种行为我便失去了自尊!我被内心一种自我鄙视的痛苦所压倒。
I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not even know her.
我从来没有爱过她,敬重过她,甚至也不了解她。
I was not sure of the existence of one virtue in her nature:
她天性中有没有一种美德我都没有把握。
I had marked neither modesty, nor benevolence, nor candour, nor refinement in her mind or manners
在她的内心或举止中,我既没有看到谦逊和仁慈,也没有看到坦诚和高雅。
and, I married her: gross, grovelling, mole-eyed blockhead that I was!
而我娶了她,我是多么粗俗,多么没有骨气!真是个有眼无珠的大傻瓜!
With less sin I might have -- but let me remember to whom I am speaking."
要是我没有那么大的过失,也许我早就,不过还是让我记住我在同谁说话。”