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Let's get to some news. Thankfully, everyone is fine but last night,
来看看新闻，幸运的是，昨晚人们一切安好。
Iran fired 22 missiles at two American military bases in Iraq.
伊朗向驻伊美军基地发射了22个导弹。
It's pretty scary. One soldier said he hadn't seen a bomb that big since the movie Cats.
这很吓人，一名士兵说他没见过如此大的炸弹，自从电影《猫》以后。
Whoa! Things are so tense right now. President Trump's skin went from being on orange alert to red alert.
哦哦，事情变得很紧张，小特的皮肤也从橙色预警变成了红色预警。
During the attack, the hashtag IranVsAmerica was trending on Twitter.
在袭击期间，#伊朗对抗美国在推特上走红。
It's good to know that when a war breaks out, we treat it the same way we treat BB-8 versus Baby Yoda.
很高兴的知道战争打响了，我们的做法一样，我们让BB-8机器人对抗尤达宝宝。
And this morning, Trump gave an address where he talked about the attack.
今天早上，小特发表了演讲，他谈论到了此次袭击。
But before he even said a word his entrance was pretty dramatic. Check this out.
但就在他说话之前，他的进门确实很有戏剧性，来看看。
That's bright. Wow. It's like he walked directly out of his tanning bed. You know, he's like,
很明亮，哦哦，很像是他直接从日晒床起来，他就像是...
I got things to do. During Trump's speech, he had a bit of trouble with the word tolerated. Take a look.
我有事情要做，在小特的演讲中，他对忍受这个单词的发音有困难，来看看。
Your campaign of terror, murder, mayhem will not be tolerited any longer.
你们的恐怖、谋杀和伤害运动将不再被容申。
You got to hand it to him. He's the only person who makes typos out loud. Yeah.
他在这个方面很成功，他是唯一一个将打字错误这么大声说出来的人，没错。
You know? Some 2020 news. At the end of her rally last night in Brooklyn,
你知道吗？一些2020年新闻，在昨晚布鲁克林的集会最后，
Senator Elizabeth Warren showed off a few dance moves. Ooh!
参议员沃伦表演了几下舞蹈动作，哦哦。
Let's see how that went. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. The bad news is...that's the whitest dancing I've ever seen.
来看看是咋回事，没错，没错，好棒，哦哦，坏消息是，这是我见过的最苍白的舞蹈。
The good news is...that played huge in Iowa. Oh, good.
坏消息是，这对爱荷华州的反响很大，好吧。
Today, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announce that they'll no longer be senior members of the royal family
今天，哈里王子和梅根宣布他们将不再担任皇室高级成员，
and they might move to Canada. Ooh! I give them a lot of credit. Tons of celebrities always threaten to move to Canada.
他们也将前往加拿大，哦哦，我为他们点掌声，有大量名人一直在威胁要迁往加拿大。
They're actually doing it. Oh. Some tech news. At the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas,
但他们真的这样做了，一些科技新闻，在维加斯的消费者电子产品大会上，
Kohler just introduced a shower head that has Alexa built in.
科勒推出了一个喷头，而且是植入亚历克萨智能的。
But it gets a little awkward when you're in the shower and Alexa says...
但很让人尴尬，当你在洗澡时，亚历克萨说...
That water must be cold. Hey. Come on. Some TV news.
水一定很冷，来吧，一些电视新闻。
I heard that a spin-off of The Masked Singer is in the works with masked dancers.
我听说蒙面歌王的副产品是蒙面跳舞。
Yeah, a show where people dance, but you don't know who they are. It's called Dancing with the Stars.
没错，在这个节目中，人们会跳舞，但你不知道他们是谁，名字叫做与明星共舞。
Which one's the star? Well, last night, Jeopardy! began their greatest-of-all-time tournament. It's awesome.
这个明星是谁？然后再昨晚，Jeopardy智力竞赛节目开始了史上最棒的锦标赛，太棒了。
But they're also debuting their worst-of-all-time tournament. I saw a clip, and it seems pretty good. Take a look.
但他们还推出了史上最糟糕的锦标赛，我看到了一个短视频，看着不错，来看看。
This Canadian singer had huge successes with her multiyear residencies at Caesars Palace, starting in 2003 and 2011.
这个加拿大歌手在凯撒宫有多年的居住权，从2003年到2011年。
Sayeed? Who is LL Cool J? No. If you're counting cards, this legume that's the main ingredient in hummus may not be your best choice.
赛义德？是LL Cool J吗？不是，如果你数牌，那么作为胡姆斯酱的主要原料的豆子或者不是你的最好选择。
Karen. What's the Vietnam War? Nope. Blank The Teenage Witch. And that would be Thomas Edison.
凯伦，越南战争吗？不是，青少年巫婆，这个说的是托马斯·爱迪生。
Yeah. Weird. This is cool. Starbucks just introduced a new menu item, the almond-milk-honey flat white.
好吧，太奇怪了，好棒，星巴克推出了全新菜单，杏仁-牛奶-蜂蜜澳白。
You don't even have to order it. You just walk up and say, I'm that guy. Listen to this.
你甚至不用订购，你直接上前去说，我就是那个男子，听听这个。
A 92-year-old man...a 92-year-old man in the U.K just got his experience...
一名92岁的男子自，英国一名92岁男子获得了体验，
his boyhood dream of going skiing for the first time. Aww.
他孩时的梦想达成了，那就是第一次滑雪，哦哦。
Funeral services will be held tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. Refreshments at the ski lodge.
葬礼将在明天下午一点举行，滑雪度假屋的美食。
This is going viral. A 14-month-old in Canada was trying to help his parents with some shoveling
这个很火爆，一名14个月大的加拿大孩子试图帮助父母铲雪。
when he seemed a little...run out of steam. Watch this.
但他似乎有点，没力气了，来看看。
There you go. That's basically Trump trying to figure out the Middle East.
好吧，这基本上就是小特试图解决中东问题的方法。
And, finally, this is wild. A woman in Florida gave birth to two sets of twins in one year.
最后，这个很火爆，佛州一女子一年生了两对双胞胎。
When her husband went to give her a hug, she was like, You stay away from me! We have a great show.
当她的丈夫想要给她一个拥抱时，她说你离我远点！我们的节目很精彩。
