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When I was middle school science teacher, I would often ask my students to kiss their brain.
当我还是个初中科学老师时，我常让学生们去亲吻他们的脑袋。
I got this idea from visiting my friend's kindergarten classroom.
我是在参观朋友幼儿园课堂时获得的灵感。
She would ask her students to kiss their brain, and they would take their fingers, tap them to their mouth and then to the top of their head.
她会让她的学生们亲吻他们的脑袋，而他们会伸出他们的手指，轻触一下他们的嘴， 再触碰一下脑袋。
And it truly was as cute as you can picture it to be.
这画面就像你想象得那样可爱。
So I decided to bring it back to my middle school classroom, which could have gone one of two ways, but it ended up being a really fun ritual for us, too.
于是我决定把这个动作带回我的初中课堂，这么做的效果可好可坏，但最终这也成为了我们的一个非常有趣的仪式。
And I would ask them to kiss their brain for all the work they did in class as a practice of gratitude.
作为一种感恩的实践，我会让我的学生去亲吻他们辛勤运作了一整节课的头。
After teaching middle school, I came back to grad school to get my PhD in psychology.
在教完初中之后，我回到了研究生院攻读心理学博士学位。
My research is within the area of positive psychology, which is the science that investigates the strengths and factors that allow individuals and communities to thrive.
我的研究领域是积极心理学，这是一门研究使个人和社会茁壮成长的力量与因素的科学。
I also get to teach psychology to undergrad students and high school students.
同时，我也会向本科生和高中生教授心理学。
I love teaching psych, and my absolute favorite unit to teach In Intro Psych is the brain.
我热爱教授心理学，而我最喜欢教的心理学基础课程正是大脑。
But while I love teaching about the brain, I thought it would be pushing it to ask my undergrads, aka adults, to kiss their brains.
虽然我热爱教授有关大脑的知识，但我认为对于我的本科生，也就是一群成年人来讲，亲吻他们的脑袋这件事或许有点强人所难。
So three years would go by before I would remember that fun phrase.
因此，需要等到3年之后，我才会再次想起那句有趣的话。
One day after teaching last year, I had a terrible migraine that left half of my face numb and blurred my vision.
去年某一天，在教完课后，我经历了严重的偏头痛，这让我的半边脸变得麻木，也让我的视线变得模糊。
The migraines kept happening.
偏头痛不断发生。
I saw multiple doctors, and then I started experiencing dizzy spells.
我看了很多医生，然后我开始出现头晕目眩的症状。
The neurologist ordered an MRI, and I remember being so excited because then I would be able to use my own brain pictures when I taught brain imaging to my students.
神经科医生要求我做核磁共振，我记得当时我非常兴奋，因为这样我就用自己的脑成像给学生上课了。
But as it turns out, my MRI wasn't too picture perfect.
但事实证明，我的核磁共振成像看着并不是特别理想。
The doctor called me and asked me to go to the ER because there was a large mass in the right hemisphere of my brain, and that's where I saw the image for the first time.
医生打电话给我，让我去急诊室，因为我的右脑有一个大面积的阴影，我就是在那里第一次看到了这个图像。
I have never been more scared in my life than I was that night, and with tears dripping down my face, in the hospital,
我这辈子从来没有像那天晚上那样害怕过，在医院里，泪水不断从我的脸颊滴落。
I kissed my brain for the first time since I had left my middle school classroom.
自从离开我的初中教学课堂以来，我第一次亲吻了我的脑袋。
I made it my mantra, and I kissed my brain every single day, leading up to and after surgery.
我把这当成了每日祈祷，而且在手术前后的每一天，我都会亲吻我的脑袋。
Then, two weeks later, after surgery, the pathology reports came back and I was diagnosed with an anaplastic astrocytoma.
然后，在手术两周后，病理报告出来了，我被诊断为间变性恶性星形细胞瘤。
The weeks following were very difficult.
在这之后的每一周都无比的艰难。
I tried to figure out what I was struggling with the most by looking back on all the things I had been writing about this experience.
我试图通过回顾所有我写过的有关这段经历的文字，来找出到底是什么最令我感到煎熬。
I wrote and posted this on Instagram about a week after I received that pathology report: "I will keep fighting.
在收到那份病理报告大约一周后，我写下了这句话并把它发到Instagram上：“我会继续抗争。
I will keep loving, I will keep living, I will keep loving. I will keep living. "
我会继续热爱，我会继续生活，我会继续热爱，我会继续生活。”
