On August 4, 2020 in Lebanon, our lives changed.
2020 年八月四日,在黎巴嫩,我们的人生改变了。
In a split of a second, one of the largest non-nuclear explosions pulverized our port and destroyed half our city, killing many people and destroying homes and creating losses that we can’t even count until today.
在短短一瞬间,最大的非核爆炸之一,粉碎了我们的港口,摧毁了我们的半个城市,导致许多人死亡,家园毁灭,造成的损失至今仍然难以计算。
And there still hasn’t been accountability for what happened, even though it was the result of years of political mismanagement and corruption.
发生这种事,都还没有人负责,即使这是多年来政治管理不善以及腐败的结果。
I happened, on that day, to be in Beirut: in the center of Beirut, in the office, because I was in pre-production for my first feature film, “Costa Brava, Lebanon,”
那天,我刚好在贝鲁特:在贝鲁特的中心,在办公室里,我正在为我的第一部长片《垃圾年代》进行前制。
a film we had been working on for a few years really hard, and a film that, ironically, is the story of a family that decides to leave Beirut,
我们为这部片努力投入了几年时间,讽刺的是,故事讲的是一个家庭决定要离开贝鲁特,
a place that doesn’t feel safe to them anymore to create a utopic mountain home, a self-sustainable mountain home away from a city that has broken their hearts.
因为他们在那里不再感到安全,他们要去山中创造乌托邦家园,在山中自给自足的家园,远离让他们心碎的城市。
This is the cast of the film.
这些是电影的演员。
And then what happens is that their utopia is completely destroyed when the government decides to build an illegal garbage landfill right outside their home, bringing that reality to their front door -- the one they have been running away from for many years.
接着发生的事是,他们的乌托邦被完全摧毁了,因为政府决定建造一个非法的垃圾场,刚好就在他们的家园外面。把那现实直接带到他们的家门口——多年来,他们一直在躲避的现实。
The family finds itself again confronted to this destruction that it had been trying to avoid, facing everything it was trying to protect itself from.
这个家庭发现他们要再一次遭遇他们一直想躲避的毁灭,面对他们为了保护自己而一直试图躲开的一切。
I was with the crew, the cast and the crew of the film in the office in Gemmayze in Beirut, when at six or seven, in the split of a second, our lives were turned upside down.
我当时和电影的工作人员及演员在一起,我们在贝鲁特吉美扎的办公室里,在六、七点时,一瞬间,我们的人生成了一片混乱。
We went from a creative meeting filled with passion and love and excitement to looking for each other under rubble, wondering if we had all made it alive.
我们本来在开一场创意会议,满是热情、爱,和兴奋,突然变成在瓦砾堆下找寻彼此,不知道是否大家都活下来了。
Luckily, we did, and we were much luckier than a lot of people in the same street.
我们很幸运都活下来了,且我们比同一条街上的许多人都幸运很多。
My cinematographer, Joe, almost lost his eye and everyone was injured.
我的摄影技师乔差点失去一只眼睛,大家都受伤了。
We got out of the street and realized that the explosion was not just next to the office, but everywhere, and that’s when we understood how big it was.
我们跑到街上,发现爆炸不只是在办公室旁边,而是每个地方,此时我们才知道事情有多严重。
Walking down the street like zombies around that time, surrounded by broken, confused, stunned faces, felt like walking in the set of a movie I don’t want to direct or be a part of.
那时,我们像是丧尸一样在街上走着,周边都是破碎、困惑、吓呆的面孔,感觉就像是走在电影片场,一部我不想要执导或参与的电影。
Everyone’s homes, their private spaces, their frames, their walls, were dust on which we were walking.
每个人的家、他们的私人空间、他们的相框、他们的墙壁,都成了我们走过时脚下的尘土。
We stopped everything at that moment because we lost all of our coordinates: all of our sense of home, everything that we had worked for.
那一刻,我们的一切都停止了,因为我们失去了所有的座标:所有家的感觉,我们努力的一切。
So what we did is we just took a moment for two months and each of us took time to grieve, to assess the losses, whether it was the office or all of us.
我们的做法是,休息两个月的时间,每个人都花些时间来哀悼,评估损失,办公室,或我们所有人,皆是如此。
Anyway, how can you even think about being creative or making anything at a moment where you feel like you’re living hell -- in the middle of hell?
你怎么可能去思考创意或制作什么,毕竟那时你根本觉得你在地狱——身在地狱里?
You cannot create amidst such chaos.
在那样的混乱当中,不可能创作。
At that moment, my mother -- my hero on that day because it’s only thanks to her that some of us made it to a hospital, who has lived civil wars -- reminded me of a book I read in architecture school.
那时,我母亲——我那天的英雄,因为靠着她,我们当中的一些人才有办法到医院,她是见过战争的人——这让我想起我在建筑学校时读的一本书。
“Invisible Cities” by Italo Calvino.
《看不见的城市》,作者是伊塔罗?卡尔维诺。
I’ll read to you the quote that she read to me at that time when she saw the despair me and my team were in.
让我读一段引述,这是当她看到我和我的团队有多绝望时,读给我听的。
“The hell of the living is not something that will be.
“活人的地狱并不会在将来。
If there is one, it is what is already here, the hell we live every day, that we make by being together.
如果真有活人的地狱,它已经在这里了,我们每天身处的地狱,我们共同造成的地狱。
There are two ways to escape suffering it.
有两种方式可以脱离它的苦难。
The first is easy for many: accept the hell, and become such a part of it that you can no longer see it.
第一种对许多人而言很容易:接受地狱,变成它的一部分,到你自己也看不见它的程度。
The second is risky and demands constant vigilance and apprehension: seek and learn to recognize who and what, in the midst of hell, are not hell, then make them endure, give them space.”
第二种很冒险,需要经常提心吊胆,在地狱当中,寻找、了解谁或什么不是地狱的一部分,接着让他或它们更持久,给他或它们空间。”
Luckily, these people were not too far from me.
幸运的是,这些人离我不远。
There were the cast and the crew of this film, so we met all together and brainstormed.
就是这部电影的演员和工作人员,于是,我们聚在一起头脑风暴。
We thought, should we make this film or not?
我们在想,我们该不该完成这部片?