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And she also had this ability of talking to her children about real life and making sure that we understood the virtues of going your own way, which is why I believe today at the age of 94, and a recent widow, my mom is still carving out ways to find and determine and define her own version of happiness.
她也有能力和她的孩子谈论真实的生活，并确保我们理解走自己的路是好的，这就是为什么我相信我那位如今已 94 岁高龄，且刚失去丈夫的妈妈，依然在刻苦钻研方法，去寻找、确定和定义属于自己的幸福。
She cooks for herself.
她给自己做饭。
She maintains her home exactly as she sees fit.
她完全按照她认为合适的方式来打理她的家。
She enjoys champagne and R-rated films.
她喜欢香槟和 R 级影片。
My mom has managed to maintain her glamour, her sex appeal, you know, her independence.
我妈妈成功地保持了她的魅力、她的性感，和她的独立。
And I really hope some of that rubs off on me.
我真的希望这能影响到我。
You know, recently I’ve been thinking about one of the best lessons that my mom ever taught me, which is the literal beauty in aging.
最近我一直在思考我妈妈教给我的最好的一课，那就是字面上的衰老之美。
Now, we all know that Black don’t crack, right?
现在，我们都知道黑人不显老，对吧？
OK...Black don’t crack.
好吧……黑人是不显老。
So at the age of 50, my mom could have easily passed for the age of 35.
所以在我妈妈 50 岁的时候，她很容易被误以为是 35 岁。
And you know, that’s back during the time when people -- women were really coy about their age.
你们知道，在这个年龄段当人们——女性会避而不谈她们的年龄。
“Oh, a lady never tells her age.”
“噢，一位女士永远不会透露她自己的年龄。”
My mom never subscribed to that.
我妈妈从来都不认同这个观点。
She was always proud of her age.
她总是为自己的年龄感到骄傲。
As a matter of fact, she believes you may not tell your age, but your hands and your neck will.
事实上，她认为就算你不说你的年龄，但你的手和脖子会。
So make peace with aging, or prepare for an entire wardrobe of gloves and turtlenecks.
所以接受衰老吧，或者准备好一整柜的手套和高领衣服。
Yeah, my mom has always done these wonderful things like that, but I wish she could rub off on everyone because I feel like now I’m looking at even 20-somethings who have a fear of aging.
是的，我妈妈总是做这种奇妙的事情，但我希望她能够感染每一个人，因为我觉得，现在我看到，甚至 20 多岁的人都害怕变老。
I watch them on social media, like, you know, compulsively practiclng the latest 10-second dance craze, and it feels like their angsty and asking, “Is that all there is?”
比如，我在社交媒体上看到她们强迫自己学会最流行的 10 秒钟的舞蹈，感觉她们像是在焦虑地问，“只有这些吗？”
And I just want to yell, “Yes, that is all there is if all you’re going to do is settle for dancing to someone else’s TikTok beat!”
我只想大喊，“是的，如果你只满足于跟着别人的抖音节拍跳舞，那就只有这些了！”
Settling is very insidious.
妥协往往时不知不觉的。
It keeps us dancing on this string, waiting for this elusive, better day to miraculously appear.
它使我们在这根弦上跳舞，并等待着难得的、更好的日子奇迹般地出现。
Now thanks to Lolly’s tutelage, that’s not my story.
多亏了洛莉的指导，那不是我的故事。
In fact, I take each day as it comes but I try to make it better than the last.
事实上，我会过好每一天，而且我会努力把每一天过得比昨天更好。
So, you know, I’m single ...but I’m always ready to mingle.
我是单身……但我一直在为交往做准备。
I’m an entrepreneur, but I keep multiple revenue streams.
我是一个企业家，但我有多种收入来源。
I’m a solo traveler, which means I’ve done the sepia version of “Eat, Pray, Love” on six continents. Because I don’t settle.
我是一个独自旅行的人，这意味着我已经在六大洲完成了“美食、祈祷、恋爱”的旅程，因为我不甘妥协。
What that means is that I also don’t second-guess my decisions, and I’m also not worried about my future because I’m firmly rooted in the present.
这意味着我也不会在事后评价我的决定，并且我也不会为我的未来担忧，因为我会坚定地活在当下。
Settling is a really sinister thing.
安定下来真的是一件灾难性的事情。
It will keep you up at night tossing and turning, trying to figure out why and trying to answer that age-old question of “Is that all there is?”
它会让你夜不能寐，辗转反侧试图找出原因，并试图回答那个古老的问题“只能如此了吗？”
Personally, I don’t have time for that, because the only time I want to be kept up all night long tossing and turning is when I’m in the company of a fine-ass man.
就我而言，我没有时间去想这些，因为唯一一次让我整夜辗转反侧的还是我在公司里遇见一个翘臀男士的时候。
That's it.
就那一次。
