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And as I listened, I felt hopeful.
听着听着，我充满了希望。
Realizing that young men could take a different path.
我意识到年轻人可以选择不同的道路。
And then I brought the group together and I just said, "Does it have to be this way?"
然后我把大家召集在一起，问他们:“一定只能这样吗?”
Their collective light bulbs lit up, realizing that they could reject this version of masculinity.
他们的思维灯泡亮了起来，意识到他们可以拒绝这种男子气概。
And at the same time, I too had an “aha!”moment.
同时，我也有了一个“啊哈！”
It became clear to me that middle school boys are so impressionable and so full of potential.
瞬间我越来越确定，中学男生是如此易受影响，如此充满潜力。
But what if I told you those same middle school boys
但如果我告诉你，同样是这些男中学生，只要通过重新定义男子气概，
could lead us to a more just and equitable society by redefining masculinity?
他们可以带领我们走向一个更加公正和公平的社会呢？
Now in the days and weeks that followed, I continued to reflect on this idea.
在接下来的几天和几个星期里，我继续反思这个想法。
What actually is masculinity?
男子气概到底是什么?
If we reject the gender binary and affirm people of all genders, how does masculinity fit into that?
如果我们拒绝“性别二元论”并肯定所有性别的人，那么男子气概如何融入其中？
What are the expectations of masculinity when it comes to race, class and other social factors?
当涉及到种族、阶级和其他社会因素时，人们对男子气概的期望是什么?
I knew that middle school is fertile ground for this work.
我知道中学是从这项工作的沃土。
And my reflection led me to identify three critical skills that middle schoolers can practice to redefine masculinity.
我的反思使我确定了中学生可以练习的三个关键技能，以重新定义男子气概。
I call them the three C's.
我称之为三个C。
The first one is confidence, the second is communication, and the third is community.
第一个是信心，第二个是沟通，第三个是社区。
Now these three C's stand as the pillars of my school to show people that middle schoolers can redefine masculinity.
现在这三个C成了我们学校的支柱，向人们展示了中学生可以重新定义男子气概。
Now number one, confidence is essential to teach in middle school.
第一，我们必须要在中学教自信。
Students are exploring their identities, and they're more open to abstract thinking.
学生们正在探索自己的身份，他们更容易接受抽象思维。
I believe that having a healthy and balanced confidence allows boys to feel good about
我相信，拥有健康而平衡的自信会让男孩们对自己感觉良好，
who they are rather than feeling uncomfortable for trying to be someone they're not.
而不会因为试图成为另一个人而感到不舒服。
It’s different than simply being praised or rewarded for achievements but rather rooted in a deep sense of self.
这不同于简单地因为成就而受到表扬或奖励，而是源于一种深刻的自我意识。
And so what my school does is move away from either-or thinking.
所以我的学校所做的就是摆脱非此即彼的思维。
Instead of boys believing that they have to choose between being smart or athletic, poetic or pragmatic,
男孩们不必再认为他们必须要选择要么聪明要么运动、要么充满诗意要么务实，
we guide our boys to a more holistic version of masculinity that includes both-and.
而是引导他们对男性气质进行更全面的理解，包括两者兼而有之。
And as bell hooks and Olga Silverstein said, we need men who are empathetic and strong;
正如贝尔·胡克斯和奥尔·西尔弗斯坦所说，我们需要有同理心和坚强的人;
autonomous and connected; responsible to self, friends, family, to community;
既能自理也能与他人相处; 对自己、对朋友、对家庭、对社会负责;
and capable of understanding how those responsibilities are ultimately inseparable.
并且能够理解这些责任始终是不可分割的。
And from a purely academic standpoint, we provide opportunities to teach confidence
从纯学术的角度来看，我们提供了学习自信的机会，
through cross-curricular work and projects that include math, science, the humanities, art, home ec, sports
通过包括数学、科学、人文、艺术、家政、体育在内的跨学科工作和项目，
to show them that deep learning and critical thinking often require an integration of all of these subjects.
向他们展示深度学习和批判性思维往往需要所有这些学科的整合。
Teaching confidence allows boys to understand that there’s an entire spectrum of
通过教会他们自信，男孩们明白他们有很多方式来表达自己，
how they can express themselves, and they can feel good and value the complexity of
他们可以感觉良好，重视自己身份的复杂性，
their identity and stand firm in it with confidence.
并自信地坚定地站在这个位置上。
