You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.

Today we're making corn dogs, not corn dogs; corn dogs, not corn dogs; corn dogs, and definitely not corn dogs.

Corn dogs, also known as hot dog popsicles, these Korean style corn dogs owe the revolution to earlier attempts at the corn dog,

including the apple dog, the zucchini dog, and the cauli dog.

For these recipes you can use any type of hot dog you like, such as classic hot dogs, memory foam hot dogs.

You can pick fresh veggie dogs, or if you're desperate, you can use a horn dog.

To make our batter, we'll add one and a quarter cups of flour. This is all purpose wheat dust, though sometimes rice flour is used.

And with American corn dogs, you'd be adding cornmeal, two tablespoons of sugar, a half teaspoon of salt, and one teaspoon of instant yeast.

Give that a premix, aka a pranjangle.

Then add an egg and 100 milliliters of warm water, and start wanjangling.

And don't stop until your wrist is angry.

You can use your hand if you want to create a dough glove.

Then clean your spoon off with your spatula to get every last morsel of precious dough.

Then clean your spatula off with a fork to leave no dough behind.

Then use an oil thermometer to clean off the fork.

Then use a mini corndog leg to clean off the thermometer.

Then burn the toothpick as a sacrifice to the corn gods.

Now we'll cover that dough and leave it to rise like corn from a field, except nothing like that at all.

Now we'll transfer that goop to a shallower bowl for better dog rolling.

Now we're gonna mount our dogs on some spears.

I'm using chopsticks for maximum sturdiness.

If you end up with one that has hypospadias, just slide it out and course correct.

Close enough.

These are a bit long, so I'm going to snap off the ends.

Now blow that sawdust off the plate and hope no one gets splinters.

Now you might be tempted to confuse this with a sacred harvest wand.

But as you can see, it doesn't have any of the traditional sacred harvest power.

You want to make sure the dogs are bone dry for a better batter stickiness, which you can do with a paper towel.

Or you can use a blow dryer, or hang them out on the clothes line,

or by putting a glass of water next to them so that relatively speaking they're pretty dry.

And then do one last emergency hot dog drying session.

Then we'll dip them in this bowl of glue, also known as "corndogial" fluid.

Check out those glutenin and gliadin proteins with their strong disulfide bonds. Am I right?

You can wet your hand and mold the dough if you like, making sure it's not too thick.

Now we're ready to roll in the breadcrumbs.

These are Italian style handcrafted artisan breadcrumbs, which come from the Puglia region,

which means we're creating Italian Korean fusion cuisine, also known as Kortalian food.

We'll just get a nice good coating here.

I'm using an actual home deep fryer because it's safer than doing it on the stovetop.

My general recommendation for deep frying at home is don't deep fry because it's dangerous.

And you don't know what you're doing.

But if you're gonna disobey, I've got links below for all the safety stuff, so make sure to check it out.

So that's frying for three minutes until it's nice and golden brown.

Then goes onto our wire rack to cool off for a bit.

Mmm, that's a good looking corn dog.

It looks much better than my first attempt, which looks like a...looks like a total piece of not good corn dog.

Now we'll take a mozzarella rectangular prism and slide that onto our stick to create a cheese dog,

which isn't a dog at all; it's a grilled cheese stickwich, which also isn't grilled.

Lies everywhere in the corn dog world, watch your back.

I only fried this one for around two minutes.

Then we get this oozy goosey breadstick on a stick.

And now we'll do the potato dog, sometimes called the ugly potato dog.

This is essentially a hot dog with French fries built in. Smart.

I've got frozen hash browns here that are still frozen.

You can also chop up frozen French fries, or you can use parboiled potato like a show-off.

I'm just gonna fill the gaps in here like I'm doing an arts and crafts project.

Then into the lava we go for three minutes or a bit longer.

And we get this beautifully grotesque abstract art log.

And now we have a beautiful harmonious corn-free corn dog family. Gorgeous.

If you want to put the corn back in corn dog, you can use a corn cob stick holder.

If you don't want to muck around with all that battering and frying nonsense, you can get a pre-made corndog sheath and just slide that on, and eat that ice cold raw dog.