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Gender variables in friendship: Contradiction or not?
友情中的性别差异：矛盾还是不矛盾？
When I think of my good friends, I see them in cinematic terms. The camerawork is entirely different for men and women. The "movie" memories I have of female friends are open and intimate. We are talking, interested in each other in a magnetic sort of way. They look straight into my eyes, sensitive to my feelings, listening to me with deliberate attention. In comparison, memories of male friends are in an entirely different film altogether. An action or adventure movie! Not much in the way of dialog. The ritual of motion, or the sequence of action, makes up for the deficiency of dialog and honest narrative.
想到我的好朋友们，我就会用看电影的眼光看待他们。对男性和女性的拍摄手法是完全不同的。我对女性朋友的“电影式”记忆是开放的、亲密无间的。我们交谈着，像磁铁般互相吸引着。她们直视我的眼睛，她们善解人意，她们用心倾听。相比较而言，我对男性朋友的记忆是完全不同的另一部影片。那是一部动作片或者冒险片！对话不多。习惯性的行动，或者说一系列的动作，弥补了对话及坦诚倾诉方面的不足。
My mind retreats back to my earliest childhood friend, Donald. I was still living in Europe at the time, and near my house was an old German truck left abandoned after the war. No wheels. No windshield. No doors. But the steering wheel was intact. Donald and I continuously "flew" to America in that truck, our "airplane". Even now, I remember our daily ritual as we flew along, across Europe, across the Atlantic, on a mission of mercy. We were innocent and inseparable, the deep security that comes between best friends. Naturally, not one word of our evident feelings for one another was ever uttered; it was all done in actions.
我回想起我儿时最早的朋友唐纳德。那时候我还住在欧洲，我家房子附近有一辆战后遗弃的德国旧卡车。没有轮子，没有挡风玻璃，没有车门。但是方向盘还完好无损。我和唐纳德一直开着这辆卡车——也就是我们的“飞机”——“飞往”美国。即使到现在，我还记得我们每天飞行的那个套路。我们飞过欧洲，飞越大西洋，去执行救援任务。那时候的我们单纯，形影不离，有着最好的朋友之间才有的那种高度安全感。自然，对于我们彼此间显而易见的感情，我们从未吐露过一个字，一切尽付诸行动。
