When I was finally discharged from Kings Parks, the more evident symptoms of my illness had disappeared
在我最终从“国王公园”出院时,那些比较明显的病症已经消失,
so that I was thought of as a reasonable and levelheaded man.
因此我被认为是一个通情达理、头脑冷静的人。
But the cure would take time.
不过,治愈尚需时间。
For some years I was subject to the sudden onsets I have mentioned:
有几年,我前面提到过的病症会突然发作:
a heart that beat faster, and shaking, and sweating.
心脏快搏,浑身发抖,盗汗。
I would imagine shells falling and hear the sound of guns.
我时常想象到炮弹落地,听到枪声大作。
I could not stand being confined.
我无法忍受被幽闭的感觉,
And I had the habits that remain with soldiers.
还保持着当兵时养成的习惯,
One in particular: when I went walking I would keep an eye peeled for an enemy position.
特别是在散步时,我常常留神监视着敌人阵地。
If there was an open field I would think, how are we going to get across that?
如果有一片开阔的地方,我就想,我们如何才能通过呢?
I imagined lying again on a railroad embankment in Normandy, waiting to be told to go over it in spite of the bullets that were sweeping to and fro directly above me.
我曾想象着自己正在诺曼底趴在铁路路基上,尽管头上弹雨横飞,还等待着命令冲过去。
That day I was sure I would be killed.
那天, 我断定自己必死无疑。
Or I was in a graveyard in Holland with shells falling and the living getting mixed in with the dead.
我还会想象到自己正呆在荷兰的一片墓地里,头上弹片在飞落,地上生者与死者的尸体混在一起,难以分辨。
I was in the Ardennes, standing in a foxhole among trees covered with snow and stamping my feet.
有时我在阿登高原,站在白雪覆盖的树林里的一个散兵 坑里,跺着脚,
They were freezing.
我的脚都冻僵了。