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点评：1 属于考官不能看懂的句子。
2 用词错误，on the contrary或者in contrast。
Secondly,it will 2do good to people if they write letters. Both their brain and thinking 3mdules can benefit from it. It is obvious that people can develop their logic ,language ability and interpersonnal skills during the procedure of writing。
点评：
1 不是第二点了，换成其次furthermore, moreover, in addition。
2 观点说写信对人好，很明显，太笼统，没有针对性。
修改：Letters can keep our writing skills fresh。
3 拼写错误。
4 论证的整体思路还是不错的，只是语言表达还是不够清晰。
修改：When writing a real letter, people tend to weigh their words carefully by focusing on the punctuation, spelling and note of words. Moreover, they place great emphasis on the organization, appropriateness and register of a letter. Unfortunately, on the contrary, ordinary people incline to think of phones, together with emails, as an oral means of information transmission, hardly using writing skills when having calls or “writing” emails. That is the reason why dialogs through the phone or on-line emails are packed with countless mistakes。
Last but not least, 1emperical evidence abounds 2that many serious 3illness such as allergy can be linked to the 4radication of mobile phones and computers。
