可可电台,每期节目一话题,让英语磨练耳朵的同时学到更多有益的小知识,丰富知识的同时受益于生活。
How Smart People Deal with People They Don’t Like
如何巧妙应对讨厌的人?
They check their own expectations.
别将自己的期望强加给别人
It’s not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. However, that’s not realistic.“People have ingrained personality traits that are going to largely determine how they react,”says Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD (psychology professor at Monmouth University in West Long Branch, New Jersey).“Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.”
我们往往对他人抱有不切实际的期望。我们期望别人按照我们的意愿来做事、说话,然而这并不现实。
Alan A. Cavaiola是新泽西蒙茅斯大学的一位哲学博士,他说:“每个人都有与生俱来的个性特征,而这会直接决定每个人的行为方式。期望别人按照你的意愿来做事,会迫使你陷入失望与挫败的境地。”
If a person causes you to feel exactly the same way every time, adjust your expectations appropriately. This way you’ll be psychologically prepared and their behavior will not catch you by surprise. Smart people do this all the time. They’re not always surprised by a dis-likable person’s behavior.
如果一个人每次都让你失望,那就意味着,你该适当调整期望值了。这样你就会在心理上有所准备,也不会对那些人的行为感到特别惊讶。聪明人一直都在这样做。所以他们往往不会对他们不喜欢的人的行为,表现得大惊小怪。
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