You may go, said Agrajag, after I have killed you.
No, that won’t be any use, explained Arthur, beginning to climb up the hard stone incline of his carved slipper, because I have to save the Universe, you see. I have to find a Silver Bail, that’s the point. Tricky thing to do dead.
Save the Universe! spat Agrajag with contempt. You should have thought of that before you started your vendetta against me! What about the time you were on Stavromula Beta and someone…
I’ve never been there, said Arthur.
–…tried to assassinate you and you ducked. Who do you think the bullet hit? What did you say?
Never been there, repeated Arthur. What are you talking about? I have to go.
Agrajag stopped in his tracks.
You must have been there. You were responsible for my death there, as everywhere else. An innocent bystander! He quivered.
I’ve never heard of the place, insisted Arthur. I’ve certainly never had anyone try to assassinate me. Other than you. Perhaps I go there later, do you think?
Agrajag blinked slowly in a kind of frozen logical horror.
You haven’t been to Stavromula Beta… yet? he whispered.
No, said Arthur, I don’t know anything about the place. Certainly never been to it, and don’t have any plans to go.
Oh, you go there all right, muttered Agrajag in a broken voice, you go there all right. Oh zark! he tottered, and stared wildly about him at his huge Cathedral of Hate. I’ve brought you here too soon!
Suddenly he rallied, and turned a baleful, hating eye on Arthur.
I’m going to kill you anyway! he roared. Even if it’s a logical impossibility I’m going to zarking well try! I’m going to blow this whole mountain up! He screamed, Let’s see you get out of this one, Dent!
He rushed in a painful waddling hobble to what appeared to be a small black sacrificial altar. He was shouting so wildly now that he was really carving his face up badly. Arthur leaped down from his vantage place on the carving of his own foot and ran to try to restrain the three-quarters-crazed creature.
He leaped upon him, and brought the strange monstrosity crashing down on top of the altar.
Agrajag screamed again, thrashed wildly for a brief moment, and turned a wild eye on Arthur.
You know what you’ve done? he gurgled painfully. You’ve only gone and killed me again. I mean, what do you want from me, blood?
He thrashed again in a brief apoplectic fit, quivered, and collapsed, smacking a large red button on the altar as he did so.
Arthur started with horror and fear, first at what he appeared to have done, and then at the loud sirens and bells that suddenly shattered the air to announce some clamouring emergency. He stared wildly around him.
The only exit appeared to be the way he came in. He pelted towards it, throwing away the nasty fake leopard-skin bag as he did so.
He dashed randomly, haphazardly through the labyrinthine maze, he seemed to be pursued more and more fiercely by claxons, sirens, flashing lights.
Suddenly, he turned a corner and there was a light in front of him.
It wasn’t flashing. It was daylight.