Man and Woman

Smart(精明的) man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb(愚蠢的) woman = pregnancy(怀孕)
Dumb man + smart woman = affair
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
Married men lived longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, empty the garbage, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman knows all about her children, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

You and Your Boss

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
 
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.
 
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot(蠢货).
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
 
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority（超越权限）.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative(创造性).
 
When you take a

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