英语幽默

时间:2005-1-13 16:42:45  作者:alex 鍙彲鑻辫-骞磋交浜虹殑鑻辫鍚璁粌骞冲彴
" has two meanings "not tell true and spread one's body on something". "steal" has two meanings " get something from others unlawfully and go away secretly". "cheat" has two meaning "do something not in an honesty way and spend time idly.")

Learning Language is Important
Two mice sat in their hole watching Cat lurk(潜伏) outside. "I know how to make Cat go away," said the first mouse. "How?" the second mouse asked in surprise.
"Watch! Bow, wow!!!" barked the first mouse.  Peering through their hole in the wall, they saw Cat running away in fear.   
"Ah, see how important to learn another language!"

Some Humors Between Teachers and Students

1) TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.

2) TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!

3) TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

4) SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.

5) TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
ALFRED: I get up early.

6)TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

7)HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

8)TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

9)TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.

10)GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

11)MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

12)SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

13)TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: W

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