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Mike: I got something I'd like to say.
Grandma: Go ahead Mike.
Mike: First I'd like to thank Mom and Dad and...and Grandma Erma and Grandpa Wally, for
showing us all how great love and marriage really can be. And, I've also got kind of a surprise
for everybody.
Jason: Ho ho ho, wait till you hear this.
Maggie: You know what's coming?
Jason: Yeah. Nothing gets by me.
Mike: I want you all to know... Heck, I want the whole world to know...that I love Julie Costello,
and I want her to be my wife.
Maggie: You knew about this?
Jason: Err...
Mike: Well?
Julie: Yes.
Carol: Wasn't that romantic? When I get married, I want it to be on a boat.
Ben: What! A whaler?
Jason: Hey, can we please not have any fighting for maybe...
Maggie: What did you know Jason? And when did you know it? Huh! Huh!
Jason: Maggie, I only found out Mike and Julie where an item an hour ago. The wedding just
came as a complete surprise to me! And I'd be freaked out right now too, if I weren't trying to
calm you down!
Maggie: You're trying to calm me down?
Jason: Yes.
Maggie: Well you're doing a lousy job. So you mean to tell me that you really didn't know this
was coming?
Jason: I didn't! Didn't you see my eyes go "booing!"?
Maggie: Well, if that little...and I'll just say it, blonde, thinks she can start out taking care of
Chrissy, and end up taking away my son, she has got another thing coming!! I mean after
what she did, I'm expected to just smile and welcome her to our family?!
Mike: You didn't even congratulate us yet.
Maggie: Welcome to our family!
Ben: Mom, can we go on a family cruise again next year?
Maggie: Sure Ben, right after we have a family route canal.
Ben: Oh by the way Mom, that reminds me; before we left to take Julie home, Mike said, I get
his apartment after he gets married.
Maggie: Oh, is that what Mike says? So, he's making decisions for everybody now; how nice.
Do you think it would be OK with Mike, if I took Chrissy upstairs?
Ben: Sure. I don't think he'd... What did I say?
Carol: Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, so big in body, so small in brain. Haven't you noticed, since Mike's
big announcement, how tense Mom and Dad have been?
Ben: Mom and Dad are always tense. What house did you grow up in?
Carol: Ben, wake up and smell the nuptials! I mean the last thing they want is for Mike to get
married.
Ben: How's he ever gonna have sex?
Carol: Forget about sex. The problem is, Mom and Dad in their foolish blindness, think that if
Mike can't pick up his own dirty socks, he's too young and irresponsible for marriage.
Jason: Oh, is that what it is Carol? Well, thank you for you razor-sharp analysis. I'm sure your
wisdom comes from all the kids you've raised!
Carol: Well, actually...bye.
Ben: Dad, all I know is, we weren't talking about sex.
Maggie: Jason, we should have never hired Julie in the first place. I mean, putting her and
Mike, two attractive young people in close contact; we were just begging for something like
this to happen.
Jason: Hey, Maggie, after all I hired her. You shouldn't blame yourself.
Maggie: I wasn't.
Julie: Well, what if they ask us, if we want to have kids.
Mike: Then, you say "yes".
Julie: But, I'm not ready to have kids.
Mike: Then, just say "no".
Julie: But, what if they ask...
Mike: Listen, Julie, Julie, look. This is not some kind of final exam, where they hand out tests
and grade our papers. This is my family we are talking about.
Julie: You're right.
Mike: Yeah, look, we're just gonna sit down and we're gonna break bread together...and
maybe a few dishes.
Julie: What!?
Mike: I'm just kidding. OK, how about a kiss for luck?
Julie: Do you really think we'll need luck?
Mike: Oh, lots and lots of it.
Carol: Which one's yours?
Ben: Both of 'em.
Carol: I still don't see why I have to eat in the living room with the giant rat.
Jason: You're mother and I would like to have a nice private talk...
Maggie: With Mike and his scheming hussy.
Jason: I don't think we have to use terms like scheming hu...he...hello, hello!!
