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Maggie: Kids, kids, sit down, sit down. Carol, would you please check on Chrissy for me!
Carol: No, I always have...
Maggie: Just do it!!!
Jason: Maggie, why don't I help you serve this delicious meal you've been preparing all day.
Mike: There, now don't you feel silly for worrying?
Jason: Alright! Everybody help themselves here to your mother's all time famous...wieners
and beans.
Maggie: Well, I was going to make something tasty and delicious, but then I thought maybe
you two should get used to the crud most newly-weds eat. Wiener?
Jason: Alright, well, that brings us to the real reason that we invited you two over for dinner
tonight.
Mike: Look, Dad, we already know the reasons, so lets just let the yelling begin, OK?
Jason: Ha, no, no, hold your horses, Mike. There's not gonna be any ranting or raving over
what a stupid thing this is for you to rush into... Well, we're all open-minded here, right,
Maggie?
Maggie: Like a sieve!
Jason: So, I have come up with a list of forty six items, of what I call, "Things you haven't
thought enough about."
Mike: Gee, Dad, don't you have copies for the rest of us?
Jason: As a matter of fact, I do. Here you go, everybody gets one. You can read along, follow
the notes. If you wanna make a few of your own, here's a pen. Everybody, let's jump on
number on here, "why get married now?"
Mike: We're not. We're getting married in three months.
Jason: Alright, well why three months?
Mike: Well, why not?
Maggie: That's it? That's your answer? Huh! The wedding's off, let's eat!
Julie: Mike meant, because we're in love now.
Mike: yeah, Dad, we love each other!
Jason: Well, I deal with what real love is in the corollary to question thirty eight there. So we
can just move on for now. Let's go to question two, "where will you live?"
Julie: At my apartment...I mean "our" apartment.
Jason: Well, I do cover community property in toto in...
Maggie: Jason, your wiener’s getting cold!
Jason: Ah, let's take a look at question number three then; "how will you support yourselves?"
Julie: Well, I have my job here as Chrissy's nanny, and I'm gonna get a job at Columbia
University library, after classes.
Maggie: And you don't mind supporting this bum?
Jason: Maggie!
Mike: Hey, come on! Eddy...Eddy's dad says that I can work for him on the weekends at his
construction business. It pays like two hundred Dollars a day!
Jason: Two hundred? Right, OK. Let's take a look at number four here, " how are you gonna
keep up with your studies, when you have a brand new wife and a new part time job?"
Mike: Well look Dad, all I know is that ever since I met Julie, my grades have only gone up
and up. I...I mean, she makes me study!
Julie: He says I'm even tougher than you are.
Maggie: Well, we'll see, won't we?
(Mike, Maggie and Julie are arguing.)
Jason: Ok!! Let's just move on to number forty three.
Mike: Oh, can I have another copy? I got wiener juice on my forty three!
Maggie: Here, take mine! This is getting us absolutely nowhere!
Jason: Maggie, we agreed we wouldn't yell at them, remember?
Maggie: Jason, between tabling, corollaries ananananan wiener juice we've covered absolutely
nothing!!!
Jason: Oh, good, so what do you want me to do? You want me to just give up my calm
rational approach? Should I just blurt out, they are about to make the biggest mistake of their
lives!!!!????
Mike: The biggest mistake of our lives?
Jason: Oh, come on, Mike, you know it's true! I mean you get all swept up in a little forbidden
romance and before you know it, ba-bing! ba-bang! ba-boom! Wow! And you're strolling down
the isle!!
Julie: Forbidden romance!?
Maggie: We hired you to take care of Chrissy's needs, not...Mike's!
Julie: I did not take care of Mike's needs!
Mike: Yeah, what the heck are you talking about Mom?
Jason: Do you think we need to get into that now?
Maggie: Oh, Jason don't tell me what there's a need to get into!
Mike: I will not sit here and listen to this! Come on!!
Julie: Ow!!
Jason: Oh, sure, when it gets a little tough you just turn tail and run!! Hey, if you can't stand
your mother's poo poo, this relationship doesn't have a chance!!!
Jason: Maggie, why's the kitchen table set? I thought you said we were going out for dinner?
Maggie: No, I said you were going out for dinner.
Jason: I said I was sorry about that poo poo thing.
Maggie: Jason, it has nothing to do with that. You're going out to dinner with Mike.
Jason: What's going on?
Maggie: Well, I just wanted to have a nice calm chat with Julie. You know, just the two of us.
Jason: Ah, no witnesses, huh?
Maggie: Yeah, right. You think I'd put arsenic in the goose-liver pate? Here taste it.
Jason: Mmmm, na! Maybe later.
Maggie: Herro.
Mike: Herro.
Jason: Hi.
Julie: Hiya.
Mike: Ah. Well, so far, so good. So, Dad, Mom tells me that you wanna take me out for a
burger.
Jason: Yeah, she tells me that too.
Maggie: Well, Mike, Jason, you two better get going. I'm gonna burn my roast.
Grandma: Hello. Hello, hello!
Mike: Hey, Grandma, Grandpa.
Maggie: Mom, Dad, you're early!
Jason: Early? You didn't mention your parents were coming over.
Grandpa: Well, you could be a little grateful here.
Maggie: Dad.
Jason: Grateful?
Grandpa: Ya. I mean, we dropped everything to get down here, to fill in for this nanny that
you fired!
Mike: What?
Jason: That's your idea of a calm chat? Firing the nanny!
Mike: Ah, come on Dad! Don't start acting here. We know you're behind this whole thing too.
Jason: No, I am not. Tell him Maggie! No, you did this nut bar thing on your own.
Maggie: I did this nut bar thing on my own.
Grandpa: Ooh, I haven’t seen 'em this tense since...err...well the last time we were here. Do
you know what this is about, Miss...err...
Julie: We've met before Mr. Malone. I’m Julie, Chrissy's nanny, till you tell me otherwise.
Grandpa: Well, it's a pleasure... Oh...err...
Maggie: OK, OK, so I was gonna hang her! Sew me!
Mike: Look, Mom, you cannot fire my future wife!
Julie: It's OK. I was gonna quit!
Jason: Hey, nobody's gonna fire anybody's future or anything, OK?
Mike: Listen, you're not quitting anything!!
Maggie and Julie: Don't tell me what to do!!!
Grandma: Excuse me. I know sometimes I'm slow catching on to things...
Grandpa: Sometimes?
Grandma: But, did I just hear you say that you and Mike were engaged?
Mike: You bet Grandma!!
Grandma: Oh, that's wonderful!!
Grandpa: Well, it's about time young man!
Maggie: What?
Grandma: I want you two to make me a great-grandma real soon.
Maggie: Mom, Dad, you're not helping me out here.
Jason: Super idea to call your parents, Maggie.
Maggie: Well, at least I was doing something about it, Jason.
Jason: Well, I'm doing something about it too.
